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Old 12-26-2003, 10:07 AM   #1
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kingtut HB User
Unhappy Couldnt ejaculate to gf's first bj

So my gf decided that a nice christmas present would be bj and of course i thought so also. Possibly the best gift ive gotten in my entire life. Beforehand though she spends about 20 minutes discussing how nervous she is and how much it is going to suck(no pun intended). So this makes me nervous as hell because she wants me to come in her mouth because that would make her feel as though she had done a great job. Well she spent about 10 minutes at it to no avail and i know she was frustrated. I think my nerves contributed to this as well as her pep talk but i was wondering could you guys tell me some thoughts to have running through my head that wont make me as nervous. I just need some thoughts to relax and enjoy the moment rather than worrying about the outcome. Any help is greatly appreciated. Thanks

 
Old 12-26-2003, 11:09 AM   #2
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sansman10 HB User
Re: Couldnt ejaculate to gf's first bj

She defeated her efforts from the onset by talking herself down. You were obviously caring about her feelings because it got to you as well. First off, tell her that whatever present she gives you, you will give her. That will hopefully take some of the edge off. Second, if she starts getting down on herself, tell her stop or force her stop by giving her a nice kiss; let her know you really appreciate and understand what she's going through and you want to make it as easy as you can for her, just don't let her psyche herself out. Most of all, what hse is doing is supposed to make you both feel good about each other and is supposed to be fun, so have some fun with it. Be somplace where you won't be disturbed and just have some "kidlike" playtime as adults, you lnow what I mean? Performance anxiety doesn't just affect guys!

 
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Old 12-27-2003, 08:51 PM   #3
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kingtut HB User
Re: Couldnt ejaculate to gf's first bj

ok so since then shes tried two more times and i really think the problem relates to me. I take a drug called effexor for mild social anxiety and i think one thing it does it desensify my penis because it takes much longer to masturbate on this medication.

 
Old 12-28-2003, 11:25 PM   #4
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sparkyboy53 HB User
Re: Couldnt ejaculate to gf's first bj

Hey King,
Dont worry about it! Ive been going out with my gf for 8 months and I have NEVER ejaculated when she gives me a BJ. She has to finish me with a handjob, so dont feel bad. I still get nervous, so I dont know what to tell you there. Good luck!

 
Old 12-28-2003, 11:40 PM   #5
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Re: Couldnt ejaculate to gf's first bj

She just always feels as though it's really unfair because im always able to bring her to climax whether it be oral or fingering. She refers to it as the score and so far im winning with a score of 12-0 or something haha. At least shes a good sport about it though.

 
Old 12-29-2003, 03:19 PM   #6
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liljo HB User
Re: Couldnt ejaculate to gf's first bj

Quote:
Originally Posted by kingtut
She just always feels as though it's really unfair because im always able to bring her to climax whether it be oral or fingering. She refers to it as the score and so far im winning with a score of 12-0 or something haha. At least shes a good sport about it though.
my boyf + i do same thing scoring etc + its just a joke gd way of havin a laff bout it
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Old 12-29-2003, 06:02 PM   #7
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Re: Couldnt ejaculate to gf's first bj

Kingtut, oral sex is not compulsory in a loving relationship. You make it sound as if your g/f thinks it is. In fact, if you both continue in the way you described, it could damage your relationship. This would be a pity because you both sound like caring, loving, intelligent people. Give it a break for a while; do not persist. The passage of time will allow you both to relax about this -- and eventually you might find that you can enjoy yourselves and each other in any way you want. Best wishes.

 
Old 12-29-2003, 11:23 PM   #8
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Agony101 HB User
Re: Couldnt ejaculate to gf's first bj

I think that both of you need to relax and enjoy the moment. I've been dating this girl for 1 year and 2 months and I was nervous the first time. I think everyone is. I told myself that I needed to let go and enjoy it. I did and I ended up ejaculating in her month.

 
Old 12-30-2003, 01:07 AM   #9
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GetGhostNucca HB User
Re: Couldnt ejaculate to gf's first bj

Dude, I went our with my g/f for a friggin year and not once did I ejaculate as a result of her blowjobs. Sparkyboy53 said his g/f had to finish him off with a handjob, I couldn't even ejaculate to those either. To be honest, I didn't even bust a nut durin sex, I felt sooo bad. But that's gettin off the topic.

I agree, your g/f's little prep talk could have psychologically affected the both of you. After doing some research to fix my problem a while back I learned some stuff. Some guys can't ejaculate from any kind of stimulation other than sexual intercourse, so don't be discouraged and keep at it. Suggest some mints, prefferably Altoids for her to eat before the BJ. Try askin her to hum a song lol.
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