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Old 09-03-2004, 02:21 AM   #1
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I had sex with my cousin

I wish!! Is it wierd that I have fantasies about my cousin. She's a little bit older than me but no great age gap.

She lives away from me so I don't see her that often but when I do my hormones are raging and I get an instant erection

I think she might like me because she and I are always joking about things and messing around with each other, flirting with each other.

Is this wierd and do you think I should tell her how I feel?

PS In truth, I have masturbated while thinking about her in the past

 
Old 09-03-2004, 04:41 AM   #2
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Re: I had sex with my cousin

Hey bud, those fantasies can be pretty common. She's a good looking girl and the two of you flirt back and forth...your penis doesn't recognize her as a cousin, just that its ready for action. I would advise you not to discuss this with her and certainly not to "move" on those fantasies, unless of course it would be acceptable to your value system. Fantasies are just that, fantasies...they are part of our sexual being and can be anything we dream up. Feel free to continue masturbating to any sexual thoughts you'd like, but be careful who you share them with!

 
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Old 09-03-2004, 04:43 AM   #3
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Re: I had sex with my cousin

Whew. Okay, that's a loaded question. When you boil it down, this is a question about the morality of incest.

Is it weird? Not as weird as you might think. I've known a few people in your shoes. My own cousin had (has!) a crush for my sister that he kept all the way until he was a teenager. Though you're related, you don't feel that same family bond that you would with a close sibling, that gut reaction of, "Ew!" that should keep family away from each other.

Is it wrong? On a genetic level--not really. The chances for a recessive gene damaging a potential child are only slightly higher than a normal couple's. The belief that inbreeding will immediately produce a freak is just an overblown myth. Now, if inbreeding were done over and over within the same family tree over several generations, then you'd have a problem. Which brings me to my next point...

Is it wrong? On a societal level--yes. There's a reason it is taboo, and it's a good reason. Incest needs to be kept out of the family because 1) it invites sexual abuse into a home, and children need a sex-free environment growing up and 2) it is not genetically sound to continuously inbreed. Sex is not welcome within the family. I believe that under certain conditions (that is, if the couple *truly* loved each other, were both completely mature and understood what they were doing, and family was out of the way) that it would be permissable, but for you this is just bad news.

Regardless of whether she likes you or not, it's a bad idea. Your family would be upset if they found out. It's not a relationship that's going to go anywhere. There are plenty of girls out there in the world that have a lot more potential with a lot less drawbacks. Also remember that if you do tell her and she *doesn't* feel the way you do that you run the risk of seriously creeping her out and making her feel uncomfortable around you. It can be the sleeziest thing in the world to hear a family member make a pass at you.

Last edited by Lysander; 09-03-2004 at 04:47 AM.

 
Old 09-03-2004, 04:59 AM   #4
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Re: I had sex with my cousin

Cheers guys, don't think it is anything serious, just a fantasy as you say. Hopefully it will pass as the last thing I would want to do is creep her out

You are right, it would affect the whole family so I am best off letting it run its course

Cheers

 
Old 09-03-2004, 05:20 AM   #5
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Re: I had sex with my cousin

I knew someone who fancied her brother... well he was gorgeous

 
Old 09-03-2004, 05:50 AM   #6
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Re: I had sex with my cousin

I agree with Lance and Lysander on the genetic and social things being big.

Remember you CAN control how you think about someone, anyone, no matter how attractive our culture says they are. Some suggestions for when you are around her.
1. Look her in the face and nowhere else.
2. Never be alone with her. Move to where other people are talking and join in their conversation. Always be where others can see you.
3. Shift your focus away from sex and on to sports, schoolwork, hobbies, or church.
4. Always remember that you are in control of what you are thinking. This is something that makes us different from animals. You are responsible for what you are thinking.

 
Old 09-03-2004, 06:05 AM   #7
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Re: I had sex with my cousin

Unfortunately I am not repomsible for my hormones, they choose what they are attracted to. I will try what you have said though, it will be hard not to think about her and me but thankfully she doesn't spend a lot of time in my town

Cheers guys, really appreciate your help

 
Old 09-03-2004, 07:27 AM   #8
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Re: I had sex with my cousin

Maggie - What did she do about it? Did she confront him or just let it pass?

 
Old 09-03-2004, 09:57 AM   #9
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Re: I had sex with my cousin

Leave it the way it is ,if you make a move or let her know this you will creap her out, me and my sister have this cousin, when were were in our teens he was the way you are, and then he bagan writing letters to her would come in unannounced to pay her a visit, before it was all said and done she thought he was some kind of wierdo and would not answer the phone thinking it was him,over time and age he lost contact, but this is what can happen if a guy gets freaky over a reletive.

 
Old 09-03-2004, 05:10 PM   #10
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Re: I had sex with my cousin

This is normal, but I suggest you keep it a masturbatorary fantasy. If you asked her and she objected, she could tell your parents and possibly start a family crisis. Sure, there is the small chance she might agree to something, but what good can come of it? Better to stick with non-family members who are closer to your own age.

 
Old 09-04-2004, 11:14 PM   #11
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Re: I had sex with my cousin

I also agree to keep it as a fantasy. Don't act on it.

My husbands family has experienced this though. His uncle married his 2nd cousin. They ended up having 2 children........and the kids both have learning disabilities, which may or may not have anything to do with their parents being related. 2nd cousin marriages are actually legal, but first cousin marriages are not!

Also, not only that.............but there are other problems that these kids have to deal with. Their great grandmother is also their great aunt (is the mothers grandmother but their fathers aunt).....their 1st cousins are also distant (3rd) cousins (for example......their father is my husbands uncle......and their mother is my husbands 3rd cousin). Oh, and their grandmother is also their great great aunt (is their fathers mother and the same women is their mothers great aunt). It is so confusing for these kids. They don't know who is who.

Not saying that you are going to have kids with this girl if you spark up a relationship with her, but my husbands relatives didn't plan on that either...........it just ended up that way.

Last edited by barton93; 09-04-2004 at 11:15 PM.

 
Old 09-05-2004, 11:47 AM   #12
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Re: I had sex with my cousin

I think its just highly frowned upon in our society. I know someone who isn't of this country and whose parents are married first cousins with 6 kids all perfectly fine *really smart infact* and I thought it was weird, but, I guess over there arranged marriages happen and its not all that uncommon for 1st cousins to get married? but yeah, in america, it should be kept as a fantasy, cause, here, It gets reaaaalllllly frowned upon, and causes WAY more problems then it should.

 
Old 09-05-2004, 12:34 PM   #13
 
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Spiker312 HB User
Re: I had sex with my cousin

yea, im indian and my aunt and uncle are cousins and had an arranged marriage (crazy indians), their kids are the coolest cousins i have, one of them is actually kinda hot, but anyway, just thought id share that

 
Old 09-05-2004, 03:35 PM   #14
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Re: I had sex with my cousin

It sounds like a regular teenage fantasy. Whatever you do dont act on it and keep your feelings to yourself as it could cause problems in the long run. I myself knew a guy who had a `thing' for his youngest cousin. Ended in disaster unfortunately.

Socially it isnt accepted and if you are first cousins its also illegal and incest.

But dont worry, things will be ok.

 
Old 09-06-2004, 07:59 AM   #15
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Re: I had sex with my cousin

Im actually from the UK BTW

 
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