hello. Im 16 and im still a virgin. I want to have sex but the problem is im scared to do it. i think im afraid of what that person will think of me. What do you think? should i be scared
I think being scared is your psyche's way of telling you you're not ready to have sex. When you're mentally and emotionally ready to have sex, it will feel right. You'll be nervous, but not scared to trust your partner with your heart and body. If you're afraid of what your partner will think of you, that indicates a lack of trust. If you're with someone who truly loves you and someone you love, you should be able to trust him. If you don't feel like you can give your body and heart to your partner without being judged or ridiculed behind your back the next day in the locker room, you are perhaps choosing the wrong partner.
shes afraid of what the person will think, not about doing it. shouldnt be scared of what other person will think....
Of course in theory, you shouldn't care what people think of you generally. But when you're talking about something as intimate and personal as sex, of course you're always going to care about what your lover thinks of you. It's easy enough to say the words "don't care what anyone thinks of you" but not everyone finds it as easy to ignore other people's judgments as you may. And let's look at this logically. Let's say she has a feeling he doesn't really love her, he's just out to use her, and her instincts are right. What if this guy has sex with her, and then, like so many teen boys do, he thinks she's a **** for giving up to him so easily, and goes and tells all his friends about what a sleaze she is. Maybe you're strong enough to handle that, but not everyone is. This would be very very damaging and hurtful to some people. Perhaps she's one of these people. Is a half hour of physical pleasure worth being that hurt and humiliated? I don't think so.
hello. Im 16 and im still a virgin. I want to have sex but the problem is im scared to do it. i think im afraid of what that person will think of me. What do you think? should i be scared
"That person" ?
Who is that person? A total stranger? Your long-term boyfriend? Who that person is will determine what he thinks of you.
I think you should wait until you are with someone that you KNOW will think only good/wonderful/loving things about you should you choose to do it with him. Anything else and you're really selling yourself short.
Please don't take this the wrong way, but you should be scared. There are so many diseases out there and not to mention AIDS. Most of the boys, (yup boys) your age only care about having sex and nothing else. Not to many women now days save there virginity untill they get married. If you save your virginity untill you get married (e.g. Jessica Simpson) that man will truely respect you and will be least likely to ever leave you. Forget about what other people will think of you. If you still feel pressured into having sex, talk to a peer, or a youth coordinator. You are not the only girl not having sex. Keep your virginity, girl. It will be worth it. Good luck!
So....Could that be it then? Would that be a majority reason for a girl to choose not to be at all sexually active? I've gone and accepted the fact that I'm going to wait until I'm married because I love my girlfriend very much and I'm willing to make that sacrifice. But could that be a reason for her not wanting to try anything? I've thought of many possible reasons and accepted various ones, but the possiblility of this being a reason never crossed my mind. Makes you wonder, doesn't it? But yes, if I were you, a good choice would be that if you were even considering it just talk to your boyfriend and see what he thinks first. It's always good to have certain levels of trust in relationships. If you can't trust a guy well enough not to tell in the first place(that is if you don't want him to) then the chances are that you shouldn't have sex with him unless you feel completely ok and comfortable with it. Just don't think you "have" to do it though. If you want to, that's cool. Remember that you can say stop anytime you want. Only do it if you're sure you're ready and you've talked with your boyfriend.
Last edited by Stevo182; 12-27-2004 at 05:35 AM.
Reason: Grammer Screw Up
I am so glad to hear guys are waiting to have sex as well. Yes, that could be the reason for a girl not to be sexual active. If a person doesn't want to have sex they are saying for a reason. Yes, trust is needed. There has to be more than just trust, though. If you have been in a relationship with someone for a long time (2-4yrs), and still haven't had sex with that person then why not wait intill you get married? It is well worth it!! I know a guy who stayed a virgin untill he was 23 and married. Believe me, he was proud to say he was a virgin and didn't care what the other people said. Good Luck to everyone.
go with you principals. its the best thing you can do. im a 17 year old virgin and proud of it. if you wanna have sex then go for it. just do it because you want to and not because of the other person wants to.
just make sure that your ready and not going to regret it, thats something that will be with you for the rest of your life. so if your with the right person and you get to know them, it will be alot easier to not feel as uncomfortable, and care what they think. So dont have sex just because you feel pressured and be sure to use protection when your ready.
People shouldnt ever worry about what the other person will think of you. If you feel close enough to that person to have sex with them, then you should be close enough for him/her to accept you for who you are and what you look like or whatever else. Sexual intimacy is a very special thing and shouldnt be wasted on just anybody. Just make sure youre really ready for it, if youre scared, you might not be, as others have said
ALLIE58
Sweetie, All I Want To Say To You Is Congratulations Your A Virgin!!!!!! And I Also Want To Tell You To Please Stay That Way. I'm Not Trying To Scare You But There Are So Many Diseases That You Can Get Just By Having Sex One Time Even If You Used A Condom. They're Not 100% Like People Say They Are. That's How I Caught An Std Called Venereal Warts. I Had Sex With My First And I Was His First As Well. We Were The Only People We Were Having Sex With Protectedly. Then All Of A Sudden We Fell In Love. We Were Already In Love Way Before We Started Having Sex Though. But When We Stopped Using Condoms, It Was Still Always About Us Two Being Together Forever. Until One Day, We Broke Up, And He Had Sex With Another Girl, And It Just So Happen That, The Same Day He Had Sex With The Girl, We Got Back Together. But The Bad Part About It Was That...i Didn't Know. He Never Told Me, Even After We Got Back Together And Continued To Have Unprotected Sex With Each Other, Until 5 Months Later, I Found Out I Had An Hpv Disease, And I Got It From My First Love, And To Make Matters Worse, The Girl He Had Sex With...didn't Tell Him She Had The Disease. And He Gave It To Me. I Had To Be Punished For Something He Wanted To Do, And That I Had No Part Of. So Now I'm Stuck With This For The Rest Of My Life...and So Is He. So Sweetie Please Think About This. You Won't Be Any Of Those Things Those People May Say To You Or About You...you'll Just Be Smarter Than Them. Do The Right Thing Baby, And Wait Until You Get Married, And Get A Blood Test. My Ex-boyfriend Could've Gotten Away With What He Did, But...the Condom Broke, And That's How She Gave It To Him, Who Gave It To Me. The Same Person That Said I Was The Only Person He Ever Needed, Said That He Would Never Do Anything Like Have Sex With Another Girl, And Look What Happened. He Betrayed Me, He Hurt Me, And He Lied To Me. I Guess Now I Really Wasn't Everything He Needed. I'm Just Telling You...please Wait Until You're Married, Because It Would Be Much More Special Then, Than It Would Be Now. I Don't Want To Lose Another Person Over The Stupid Diseases Of Aids And Std's. Please...just Wait, I Promise You, It Will Be Worth It. Love Hope
Last edited by HOPE06; 12-30-2004 at 08:09 PM.
Reason: I HAD TO LET YOU KNOW THAT THIS WAS FOR YOU.
I think if you are scared than perhaps your mind is trying to tell you that you aren't ready. You are quite young and sex is a huge step physically and emotionally. I would recommend waiting but it is your choice. Only you can decide if you are ready or not. Take care Allie!
You will want to do it when you are ready. My virgin gf practically raped me on her 17th bd because I was still reluctant. We have now been married 30 years and I still love her but can't keep up with her sexually. You'll know when it's right.
for a reason. Yes, trust is needed. There has to be more than just trust, though. If you have been in a relationship with someone for a long time (2-4yrs), and still haven't had sex with that person then why not wait intill you get married? It is well worth it!! I know a guy who stayed a virgin untill he was 23 and married. Believe me, he was proud to say he was a virgin and didn't care what the other people said. Good Luck to everyone.
