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Old 12-25-2004, 08:00 PM   #1
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allie58 HB User
16 and scared to have sex

hello. Im 16 and im still a virgin. I want to have sex but the problem is im scared to do it. i think im afraid of what that person will think of me. What do you think? should i be scared

 
Old 12-26-2004, 12:23 AM   #2
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Incubus_Cali HB User
Re: 16 and scared to have sex

i think thats normal but ull get over it

 
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Old 12-26-2004, 12:56 AM   #3
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Ninispjc HB User
Re: 16 and scared to have sex

I think being scared is your psyche's way of telling you you're not ready to have sex. When you're mentally and emotionally ready to have sex, it will feel right. You'll be nervous, but not scared to trust your partner with your heart and body. If you're afraid of what your partner will think of you, that indicates a lack of trust. If you're with someone who truly loves you and someone you love, you should be able to trust him. If you don't feel like you can give your body and heart to your partner without being judged or ridiculed behind your back the next day in the locker room, you are perhaps choosing the wrong partner.

 
Old 12-26-2004, 01:28 AM   #4
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diegoalcala HB User
Re: 16 and scared to have sex

just do it

 
Old 12-26-2004, 01:34 AM   #5
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Ninispjc HB User
Re: 16 and scared to have sex

Quote:
Originally Posted by diegoalcala
just do it
With no consideration to the possibility that she may not be mentally/emotionally ready and could end up seriously hurt?

 
Old 12-26-2004, 01:36 AM   #6
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Re: 16 and scared to have sex

shes afraid of what the person will think, not about doing it. shouldnt be scared of what other person will think....

 
Old 12-26-2004, 02:27 AM   #7
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Re: 16 and scared to have sex

Quote:
Originally Posted by diegoalcala
shes afraid of what the person will think, not about doing it. shouldnt be scared of what other person will think....
Of course in theory, you shouldn't care what people think of you generally. But when you're talking about something as intimate and personal as sex, of course you're always going to care about what your lover thinks of you. It's easy enough to say the words "don't care what anyone thinks of you" but not everyone finds it as easy to ignore other people's judgments as you may. And let's look at this logically. Let's say she has a feeling he doesn't really love her, he's just out to use her, and her instincts are right. What if this guy has sex with her, and then, like so many teen boys do, he thinks she's a **** for giving up to him so easily, and goes and tells all his friends about what a sleaze she is. Maybe you're strong enough to handle that, but not everyone is. This would be very very damaging and hurtful to some people. Perhaps she's one of these people. Is a half hour of physical pleasure worth being that hurt and humiliated? I don't think so.

 
Old 12-26-2004, 09:49 AM   #8
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Re: 16 and scared to have sex

Quote:
Originally Posted by allie58
hello. Im 16 and im still a virgin. I want to have sex but the problem is im scared to do it. i think im afraid of what that person will think of me. What do you think? should i be scared
"That person" ?

Who is that person? A total stranger? Your long-term boyfriend? Who that person is will determine what he thinks of you.

I think you should wait until you are with someone that you KNOW will think only good/wonderful/loving things about you should you choose to do it with him. Anything else and you're really selling yourself short.

 
Old 12-26-2004, 02:54 PM   #9
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amblessed2 HB User
Re: 16 and scared to have sex

Please don't take this the wrong way, but you should be scared. There are so many diseases out there and not to mention AIDS. Most of the boys, (yup boys) your age only care about having sex and nothing else. Not to many women now days save there virginity untill they get married. If you save your virginity untill you get married (e.g. Jessica Simpson) that man will truely respect you and will be least likely to ever leave you. Forget about what other people will think of you. If you still feel pressured into having sex, talk to a peer, or a youth coordinator. You are not the only girl not having sex. Keep your virginity, girl. It will be worth it. Good luck!

 
Old 12-26-2004, 07:15 PM   #10
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ladivapr HB User
Re: 16 and scared to have sex

amblessed is RIGHT ON!

 
Old 12-27-2004, 05:24 AM   #11
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Stevo182 HB User
Re: 16 and scared to have sex

So....Could that be it then? Would that be a majority reason for a girl to choose not to be at all sexually active? I've gone and accepted the fact that I'm going to wait until I'm married because I love my girlfriend very much and I'm willing to make that sacrifice. But could that be a reason for her not wanting to try anything? I've thought of many possible reasons and accepted various ones, but the possiblility of this being a reason never crossed my mind. Makes you wonder, doesn't it? But yes, if I were you, a good choice would be that if you were even considering it just talk to your boyfriend and see what he thinks first. It's always good to have certain levels of trust in relationships. If you can't trust a guy well enough not to tell in the first place(that is if you don't want him to) then the chances are that you shouldn't have sex with him unless you feel completely ok and comfortable with it. Just don't think you "have" to do it though. If you want to, that's cool. Remember that you can say stop anytime you want. Only do it if you're sure you're ready and you've talked with your boyfriend.

Last edited by Stevo182; 12-27-2004 at 05:35 AM. Reason: Grammer Screw Up

 
Old 12-27-2004, 12:08 PM   #12
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amblessed2 HB User
Re: 16 and scared to have sex

I am so glad to hear guys are waiting to have sex as well. Yes, that could be the reason for a girl not to be sexual active. If a person doesn't want to have sex they are saying for a reason. Yes, trust is needed. There has to be more than just trust, though. If you have been in a relationship with someone for a long time (2-4yrs), and still haven't had sex with that person then why not wait intill you get married? It is well worth it!! I know a guy who stayed a virgin untill he was 23 and married. Believe me, he was proud to say he was a virgin and didn't care what the other people said. Good Luck to everyone.

 
Old 12-28-2004, 07:39 AM   #13
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Chingy02 HB User
Re: 16 and scared to have sex

go with you principals. its the best thing you can do. im a 17 year old virgin and proud of it. if you wanna have sex then go for it. just do it because you want to and not because of the other person wants to.

 
Old 12-30-2004, 11:37 AM   #14
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BabyGirl87 HB User
Re: 16 and scared to have sex

just make sure that your ready and not going to regret it, thats something that will be with you for the rest of your life. so if your with the right person and you get to know them, it will be alot easier to not feel as uncomfortable, and care what they think. So dont have sex just because you feel pressured and be sure to use protection when your ready.

 
Old 12-30-2004, 11:52 AM   #15
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shawnna HB User
Re: 16 and scared to have sex

People shouldnt ever worry about what the other person will think of you. If you feel close enough to that person to have sex with them, then you should be close enough for him/her to accept you for who you are and what you look like or whatever else. Sexual intimacy is a very special thing and shouldnt be wasted on just anybody. Just make sure youre really ready for it, if youre scared, you might not be, as others have said

 
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