HELP>>pleaze.... - Sexual Health - Teens Message Board

ducky907 · 12-19-2005, 11:32 AM

This is horrible... I'm only 19 years old and, the last 2 times i tried to have sex I couldnt get hard enough.
The first time i was drunk and i was able to stay hard to have sex after that i tryed a
couple days later again, and couldnt get/stay hard enough for intercourse. ive never had that prob ive slep with girls b4 but i never cared am i scared cuz i care about her an what do i do she whats to have sex and all i do is get hard and when i get ready to do it i just cant stay hard i took her virginity but we really didnt do all i did was go in for a lil bit now i can even do that (whats wrong with me ?)what do i do .... can someone help me cuz i want to do it but i cant i scared if i cant do it what if she look somewhere else HELP!!

SpunkyStuart · 12-19-2005, 04:48 PM

The answer is in the question! It is because you care.

The science behind this goes somewhere on the lines of "you dont want to hurt her, you dont want to be hurt yourself". Your body says what your subconcious is saying even if you are thinking other things.

This is fairly common, and the answer is to take your time, dont go striaght for penetritive sex - start with lots of touching and cuddling etc. Maybe not even having sex at all until you know you are ready. Work up to it nice and gently, make sure you are alone, safe and secure and cannot be overheard or disturbed.

The reason why you can stay hard when drunk (cor I wish I could nowadays, the stamina of youth!) is that your barriers are down and allow it to happen. When sober your subconcious takes over. There may be other factors that are scaring you - making her pregnant is normally a big one (so make sure you are both protected), being caught in the act etc. You may be able to think of the actual main reason that adds to the list above.

It may of course be that actually sub conciously you do not want to have sex with her. You may fancy someone else, or maybe you are not ready for a serious sexual relationship that has more depth to it. If so give it time to see what happens.

I doubt that there is anything actually physically wrong with you, presumably you can get it up to masturbate? It will be your head telling your body what you cannot hear yourself!

Good luck

hopenj77 · 12-20-2005, 05:59 PM

you have to get over the worriedness of how you will perform because that pressure and worrying is whats giving you that problem. build up your confidence, have her go down on you or have her do something that normally always terns you on..

nedd34 · 12-23-2005, 02:15 AM

i totally agree with answer number 1 you are having problems because you are afriaid ot hurt her if you really want to there are things you can do to help 1 cuddle touch kiss etc to get YOU and HER in the mood 2 a little of foreplay goes a Long way so play experiment etc and after a while then go for the actual intercourse and if you still arent hard enough remember to try using a spermicidal lubricated condom with a condom safe spermicidal water based lubrication and it will go in TRUST ME good luck with your girlfriend it sounds like you really care