Ive been goin out with my gf for 2 years, im 18 and we didnt have sex till 7 months into our relationship. However, she does not enjoy sex. I always perform oral on her and she orgasms, but she does not enjoy sex. It always takes a little time to get it in because it hurts her even though we have been doing it for over a year; and she tells me to get off as soon as i can. Is there anything i can do, or change? And this also concerns me because it makes me worried she might try to have sex with someone else to see if she enjoys it with them. And she does not enjoy textured or warming condoms. PLZ help this is killing me.
Last edited by Mod-S4; 01-31-2006 at 08:04 PM.
Reason: Note edit to your post. Please use proper terminology.
Textured or warming condoms are seeming to make your problem worse so I would stick to some nice plain condoms and use plently of lube until your g/f is able to enjoy this then if she wants to try the fancy condoms you can go back to them. They are designed to enhance an already good experience, but they are obviously a bit too much for her at the moment.
It almost sounds like you shove it in, do the business as quickly as you can before she throuws you off and it is not good for either of you. Maybe there are other positions that make it easier for her to accomodate you?
Being understanding of the problem by being gentle, using lube, going carefully etc will pay you dividends in the future - if you dont do this then yes you could risk losing her. I hope you dont but be nice to her, talk through it all with her, come up with some plans to help this get better for both of you and it should improve.
If she is tight or a bit dry then it may be uncomfortable for her and lubrication will help lots, and if you can make it nicer you will get more of it! Maybe your penis is thicker than average - you will have to be considerate to her feelings here.
It sounds like the two of you need to have some serious conversation about this; see what problems both of you are having, and concentrate on correcting them. Others have given you good advice, positions, lubrication, and asking each other what feels good and what doesn't. Try all this and Good Luck to both of you.
Everyone has given you excellent advice...sometimes it may be a psychological issue. Does she have "issues" regarding sex? Any bad experiences? Maybe she's really not ready in the mind set. If she has any hinderences that may affect the situation. I know sometimes talking about it may make things akward, but then again it make a world of difference, too. Are you using foreplay to get in the mood? Or is it, "let me have it..then I'll be done?" Try to stimulate her in other ways then try penile penetration....
i used to hate sex.
none could touch me
not even through clothes.
i think you should talk to her, ask why the real reason is, drag it out of her cause there is obviously sumthing shes not telling you
if you go in to far and it hurts her, maybe your just a big guy, or she has a tiny vagina...or she could have an issue and have endometryosis.
all Im gonna say is She's crazy! not like sex? weird! definitly ask her bout that
This was incredably inappropriate to say. Your poor girlfriend is not crazy because sex doesn't feel good yet. It makes me very sad that you have to force it in, and then finish as fast as possible cause it hurts her. Her thinking about how much it's going to hurt will make it hurt more! When I first starting having sex, I was so nervous and couldn't relax enough for it to be good, it wasn't good for a very long time. Everyone is different. If she isn't comfortable enough with the idea of sex, then she isn't going to enjoy it. One of my concerns when I started having sex was worrying about the condom. It wasn't until after I was on birth control, with the condom, was I more comfortable. The idea of using lube is great, but if she isn't comfortable enough to begin with, no amount of lube will help.