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Old 06-18-2006, 03:42 PM   #1
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jilli47 HB User
Losing respect after sexual contact

Hi everyone,
I recently read a post where someone asked:
I'm so confused right now. My boyfriend and I did oral sex last week and he told me he enjoyed it and all that jazz. Well up until a few days ago he was talking about what he wanted to try next time. And as of a few days ago he acts like he's afraid to be alone with me. He still talks to me and says I love you, but wont be alone in a personal setting. I've talked to him and he says nothings wrong but...I don't know what to do it's driving me insane!!
Someone responded with:
Guilt might be the problem. Or maybe he is concerned about how to proceed the next time, or he is embarassed about something. Ease up on him for a while and let things settle down. If he initiated it the first time, he may soon bring it up again, but not until after you ease up. And, too, sometimes when a boy has sex with a girl, even oral, he loses respect for her, even though it was his idea. I hope that is not the case here, but it has happend many, many times before.
This really scares me. Sometimes guys lose respect for girls after sex or oral sex????? My boyfriend and I kiss and everything, but I'm afraid he'll lose respect for me if I give him oral sex or anything. He calls me cute all the time and respects me a lot now. I don't want anything to ruin that. Can anyone please tell me anything about this whole losing respect issue after sex/oral sex???? Please, your help is appreciated.

 
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Old 06-18-2006, 03:56 PM   #2
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Re: Losing respect after sexual contact

It was I who said that and yes, it sometimes happens. It is not logical, but it is often true. The best way to ensure it won't happen is to not engage in sexual activity until you have been dating for a long while and you know that he is interested in you for you and not for just your ability to have sex. That doesn't mean you can't have sex until you are married, but it does mean you should hold off a while until you are sure you are ready and that you are not doing it because he is pressuring you.

 
Old 06-25-2006, 07:45 PM   #3
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Re: Losing respect after sexual contact

I definitely think making them wait is a good idea.. if they don't get tired of you by then and are fine with waiting, then they shouldn't lose respect for you. I waited until my boyfriend and I were in love before losing my virginity and no problems with the respect issue. You can never really know for sure.. but I think that is one of the best ways to prevent it!

 
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