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Old 07-17-2006, 12:27 AM   #1
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Unhappy Will guys think that my longer inner labia is gross?

My inner labias are longer than my outer. And i have some extra skin where my vaginal hole in, due to my hymen being broken by a tampon.
Will guys find me really gross?
My current boyfriend has made a comment about long lips being gross. and loose. and i was extremely hurt to hear it. are guys usually like that? we havent done anything. but now im afraid to.
I have no idea what to do. Ive actually cried over it because i dont want to be outcasted even though people say its normal. i really do hate myself.
and i always wish i was born different.

 
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Old 07-17-2006, 05:16 AM   #2
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Re: Will guys think that my longer inner labia is gross?

You have to realize that you ARENT deformed by having a longer labia! Every vagina is different. NO ONE has a "perfect" looking vagina that you find in mag's and porn...............those are airbrushed and unrealistic! I was insecure for years!!! Not 1 man said anything negative to me. Some even loved it! IF he said something to you about not liking laonger labia's........then get in a conversation about it with him, and ask him exactly what he finds being a turnoff. He sounds like he isnt very mature or very experienced in that department. Really you arent alone..............and there are soooooo many women that have a longer labia. First of all he doesnt sound like the type of guy you probably want to be intimate with.............really, how many guys say "i dont like a girl with a longer labia" It's like us saying Hmmmmmmmmmm, i dont like a guy with a small penis! It's the same thing! All vagina's come in different colors, shape, sizes etc and every penis comes in different colors, shapes and sizes. I guess to some people ALL women's vagina's are suppose to look like the one's in Playboy.

 
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Old 07-17-2006, 08:27 AM   #3
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Re: Will guys think that my longer inner labia is gross?

Quote:
Originally Posted by ChinaDina
My inner labias are longer than my outer. And i have some extra skin where my vaginal hole in, due to my hymen being broken by a tampon.
Will guys find me really gross?
My current boyfriend has made a comment about long lips being gross. and loose. and i was extremely hurt to hear it. are guys usually like that? we havent done anything. but now im afraid to.
I have no idea what to do. Ive actually cried over it because i dont want to be outcasted even though people say its normal. i really do hate myself.
and i always wish i was born different.
First of all, that was an extremely hurtful thing for your boyfriend to say, and I really think you need to break up with him. You should never, ever, EVER allow a guy to say something that hurtful and let him get away with it. There was no reason for him to say it, and it just shows what a major jerk he is. You deserve way better than to be with a guy like that. Please just do yourself a huge favor and dump this loser because he is already starting to destroy your self-esteem.

Secondly, as you have already been told, women come in all different shapes and sizes. Each one of us is unique in our own way. And different guys find different things attractive in each woman. Don't hate yourself for being different. Instead, you should love yourself how you are, because there is no one else out there exactly like you. But also know that what you perceive as being a problem about yourself is something that other guys might find very attractive.

Third, don't ever let any guy tell you that anything about you is ugly. There is nothing ugly about you because you're a woman, and women are all beautiful in their own way. Some of us may be short or fat or thin or tall or dark haired or thin haired or thick haired or blonde or wrinkled or whatever - but each one of us has beauty that is unique to ourselves. It doesn't matter what one random loser guy says, because he means nothing in the world. What matters is that you're better than that and you deserve better than that.

So, please dump this loser and don't be sad about your appearance. I'm telling you, no guy's opinion should ever make you feel bad about yourself. Because you're still beautiful no matter what any guy says. We all are, because we're women and we totally rule.

 
Old 07-17-2006, 10:55 AM   #4
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Unhappy Re: Will guys think that my longer inner labia is gross?

Well he didnt say it about me directly.
he doesnt know. but im afraid to show him.
that maybe he'll think im gross. i always hear boys use the term "meat curtain" or "roast beef". and make jokes about girls being "overused" due to their labia appearence. and ive always been afraid of a boy thinking that about me. these thoughts worry me everyday really. its basically a daily stress/anxiety issue i have to deal with everytime i see myself. im tall (about 5'7) and very thin and my whole life everyones told me how perfect my body structure was. and how pretty i was. and that i should model. But ive always remeber how gross i felt down there and how people would think im gross because of it. plus most models you see my age dont have buldge. im not just comparing to models, i look wierd im bathing suits compared to other girls.
this boy really isnt a jerk. he is inexpierenced. but all i hear is labia jokes from guys. ive gotten used to changing the subject quickly before i have to walk away hurt. so him making them would be normal. i just hope he'll find me normal too.

Last edited by Administrator; 10-02-2006 at 09:18 AM.

 
Old 07-17-2006, 10:58 AM   #5
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Re: Will guys think that my longer inner labia is gross?

believe me honey.....a guy will just be happy to get down there.....he's not gonna put his foot in his mouth........
don't worry about it!

I've been asked many things by men....but I promise you, no guy has ever asked me the size of my inner labia......(or outer one either, for that matter). LOL

You're worrying too much!

Last edited by rosequartz; 07-17-2006 at 10:59 AM.

 
Old 07-17-2006, 11:02 AM   #6
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Re: Will guys think that my longer inner labia is gross?

Well, I wouldn't go as far as saying dump him, but it does go to show how stupid and insensitive guys can be.

I couldn't tell from your post if he has ever actually seen your labia. I get the feeling not, because you say "we haven't done anything".

This makes a huge difference as to whether he was actually insulting YOUR labia, or just stupidly repeating something he heard without any real reference to any actual labia he has ever experienced. Maybe he saw some porn once where a woman had incredibly huge labia and it was too much for him, but yours might be wonderful.

Don't immediately assume that yours are large. It is perfectly normal for them hang down lower than the outer lips. It's such a shame some women get all hung up about it. If you want to read some sad posts, read about the women who want labiaplasty because theirs are a fraction of an inch longer than 'normal' (whatever THAT is, lol).

I'm sure yours are just fine and you have nothing to worry about . As for being afraid to do anything now. Don't be. Although in your boyfriend's case, I would suggest you not let him near you down there. And if he finally asks, I would tell him that "since you said you don't like long labia, you don't get any of mine". He should take back his words pretty quickly.

Oh, and finally, No, guys are NOT usually like that. Most men are very complimentary and thoughtful and will do whatever to make you feel good.

 
Old 07-17-2006, 01:23 PM   #7
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Re: Will guys think that my longer inner labia is gross?

Hey! I'm 19, I've been with my boyfriend since I was 16 (He is older than me by two years and has had more experience). I was exactly like you. People always telling me how good I looked, but I was so self concious about my vagina...about the size of my labia (they are longer also). It was absolutly not worth all the worrying. My boyfriend had/has zero problems with my vagina :P

Your boyfriend is just inexperienced. I don't mean to sound mean, but he probably hasn't seen too many vaginas outside of playboy. If he has, he probably wouldn't make comments about long labia being gross. It is absoultly normal, even common.

Bottom line is, don't ever worry, or let other people upset you, because of how you look. If you spend time worrying and being self concious you're not going to have fun and enjoy your teen years : )

 
Old 07-17-2006, 02:30 PM   #8
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Re: Will guys think that my longer inner labia is gross?

At 16 alot of guys have hurtful nasty things to say about girls they have been with etc..............as they explain what their vagina's look like with their friends...................... When i was in high school.......................guys were absolutely BRUTAL with how DISRESPECTFUL they were towards girls! This is called IMMATURE and they probably have very little sexual experience. A longer labia does not mean USED UP....................they have no idea how different women are........they havent been or seen enough actual vagina's. Try not to have so much anxiety over this. Doesnt it help to know that there are ALOT of other women just like you. IF, he talks about girls and their vagina's in a negative way.............then think twice about sharing that part of you with him. IF, you want to become sexually active with him, then talk to him ahead of time about your concerns.

Last edited by Mod-S4; 07-17-2006 at 03:10 PM.

 
Old 07-17-2006, 03:52 PM   #9
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Re: Will guys think that my longer inner labia is gross?

Now that you've clarified that he's never actually seen you and doesn't know what you look like, I can understand what's going on. How much do you want to bet that he's never even seen a real girl naked before? I bet he knows about as much about what a real girl looks like as he knows about what it feels like to have cramps.

He's an idiot.

That being said, even if he wasn't saying it about you directly, it still hurt your feelings. That's why I still think you should dump him because he sounds like an insensitive jerk. But if you're determined to stay with him then just watch for any disrespectful behavior if you ever do let him see you naked. If he says anything - and I mean ANYTHING - that hurts your feelings, then you have to dump him immediately. Don't even give him a chance to apologize because that's the kind of childish behavior that means that he is not ready to be sexually active with anyone yet.

 
Old 07-17-2006, 05:57 PM   #10
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Re: Will guys think that my longer inner labia is gross?

a lot of these have helped. thank you so much.
i dont plan on becoming sexually active right now. the most id let him do is feel it.
and i know for a face that he has never seen a girl naked. he doesnt even watch a lot of porn. i dont want to be brutal to him. hes just confused. really there was just this guy talking about long labias and he just said "dont be nasty". and it still hurt.
but a lot of his friends are to blame. theyre pretty bad about it.

for a while ive wanted an answer from more expierenced girls, instead of girls currently going through what i am.
and i do know mine are big. im glad i found some people here

Last edited by ChinaDina; 07-17-2006 at 05:59 PM.

 
Old 07-17-2006, 06:11 PM   #11
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Re: Will guys think that my longer inner labia is gross?

Seriously, I bet that yours aren't even that big. We are always our own worst critics. We see so many flaws in ourselves, but that's because we don't see ourselves the way others see us.

I have things about myself that I don't necessarily like that much. But I'm not dwelling on those things because I know there are a lot of other things about me that are really, really awesome. That's what you need to do. Don't look to those fake men's magazines for a concept of what's beautiful, either, because real women don't have full time makeup/hair/airbrush people following them around everywhere.

I'm serious. I bet you're probably worried over nothing. Try to love who you are regardless of what a bunch of teenage boys say, because they are so clueless about real life, it's not even funny.

 
Old 07-19-2006, 04:51 PM   #12
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Unhappy Re: Will guys think that my longer inner labia is gross?

honestly i do know my are bad. they make a bad buldge when i wear a bathing suit or underwear.
the inner are bigger than the outer. they hang down. my outer lips dont even make contact with each other at the front.
i shaved the whole thing the other day, and thats when i noticed how horrible it looked. i feel duisgusting. how coudl a boy ever like that at all? especially when they expect something different.
im sorry if i seem stupid for thinking this. but im a panicky person.
i do also remeber a while ago i was at my guyfriends house and he was looking at porn. i was like "ew stop" and he clicked a link that said "freak"
and it was a video of long labia'd girls. he just laughed and was like "sorry i forgot you hate porn" and turned it off. id never felt so abnormal. especially because they refered to how i am as a "freak".

k im dont sounding panicky and stupid. i do worry a lot

 
Old 07-20-2006, 12:24 PM   #13
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Re: Will guys think that my longer inner labia is gross?

Well I was just fresh in high school 4 years ago and I remember what we actually though of labia being long and all that. We (or I) thought labia being long, "loose", etc meant a girl had/has sex very often, that women were always tight both inside and outer(labia,etc) if they didn't have sex. So...we were pretty wrong and your bf just didn't know better.

 
Old 07-20-2006, 09:17 PM   #14
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Re: Will guys think that my longer inner labia is gross?

Quote:
Originally Posted by MysteriousGuy
Well I was just fresh in high school 4 years ago and I remember what we actually though of labia being long and all that. We (or I) thought labia being long, "loose", etc meant a girl had/has sex very often, that women were always tight both inside and outer(labia,etc) if they didn't have sex. So...we were pretty wrong and your bf just didn't know better.

ughhh well he fingered me.
but like.
it seemed like he had some trouble. and got tangled in them a bit. its the first time hes done it. do you think he thinks im gross now? he acted all funny and nice afterwards. and normal about it. but i dont want him to talk to his friends and be like "dude her lips felt huge" or something. im paranoid always though. thats the only thing im worried about is him telling somone.

 
Old 07-23-2006, 11:30 PM   #15
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Re: Will guys think that my longer inner labia is gross?

your inner labia is longer haha well my boyfriend would love you I'm in the same situation as you I always thoguht they hated to but some guys absolutely love the longer lips cause it's not always easy to find and they love the little extra to work with don't worry sweetie you are normal

 
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