Please help! Very serious questions about puberty related stuff! - Sexual Health - Teens Message Board

silensmemorias · 04-16-2007, 09:03 PM

OK, before I ask anything, I'm going to give some basics to help determine what might be my problem.

I am a 150 lb, 5'6 young teen male. My father is 6'2. He was fatter and very short during his younger years but quickly grew and got very skinny. My mother is 5'8. Also, I believe I may have zinc deficiency. Please tell me if this is possible from my questions.

Now my questions:
1. In my school, about 80% the guys have been involved in a sexual act, generally oral. I still have yet to even kiss a girl. I call myself "sexually awkward."
I'm very shy when it comes to sexual stuff yet I am very satisfied with my sexuality and sexual organs and I'm generally an outgoing person. Like, I can ask out a girl and stuff. But what I worry is how to engage in kissing/groping/etc. I don't know how "ask" the person to engage in it. Could this be because I am entering puberty at a late age? Do young guys become more sexually "outgoing" and developed mentally as they go through puberty?

2. I am young and still 5'6. BOTH of my gfs were taller than me. Also I am not exactly...fit. No matter how much I work out or lay off junk food, my weight never decreases. And it almost never increases. Could this be the same thing that happened to my father? Or could it be zinc deficiency?

3. During puberty, do guys have VERY low self-esteem? I feel like I want to cry inside if someone makes fun of me, even if they are my good friend and are joking. And I just can't help but get upset.

silensmemorias · 04-16-2007, 09:10 PM

Oh, I forgot to add to question 1. 1. I feel as if it's too late or will be soon to do anything sexually and be labeled permanently as a virgin.

cleansweap · 04-17-2007, 12:58 PM

You are perfectly normal! As you get older, you will get much taller. Boys have a slower growth spert than girls. As for the sex, and kissing/groping question! Again, you're normal! Know one is born, knowing how to do these things, they learn as they go! Each person kiss's differently in some way. One girl might like how you kiss, and another girl may not.

When you're ready, you will meet a nice girl, and all this will come naturally. A lot of times, the girl will kiss you first! She will also take your hand in hers as well. Groping is something that comes with excitement! Not a learned process, it just happens when two people are in the heat of passion. So, chill dude.Lol..You're going to be fine!

brandy_bean · 04-17-2007, 06:06 PM

Nevermind what your schoolmates are doing, you are an individual person and do not need to follow suite in everything that others do. Have you heard or learned of STD's or any other diseases associated with various sexual acts? Be very careful. Find a nice, respectable and curtious girl who you know will treat you with the respect and love you deserve. Don't sell yourself or your integrity for the sake of others pressure or for anyone. :-)

I didn't kiss my current bf on the first date, but it started out as little pecks first, then naturally progressed to more intimate kissing/making out, to little touches here and there and eventually led to a talk of what each of us was comfortable with and where the next step would lead, which led to manual stimulation and oral. We were both happy with that for a long time and were both committed to eachother. We also discussed sexual intercourse and how ready we were and what precautions we'd take, such as me on birth control and him using condoms. Finally, when we had a weekend alone, and were both mentally ready for the next step it happened. I wasn;t a virgin (only had sex one time before) but he was, so i didnt want him to feel pressured and I wanted us both to be ready for eachother and to share this act. It was beautiful. By the way, I was 20 and he was 21, so there is no need to rush.

Just wait for those special moments with someone special, you will remember it forever and will look back upon it and smile.

doomcastirons · 04-17-2007, 07:59 PM

I never dated any girls in my highschool nor did I engage in any sexual act. It's perfectly normal for you to be feeling this way but you are just that: normal.