question about girls... - Sexual Health - Teens Message Board

shyguy13 · 04-29-2007, 03:45 AM

ok i was recently at a party at my friends house. i invited these two girls and at the end once everything was dieing down they asked if they could stay the night there. so everyone left and my friend passed out so it was just us three. they went up stairs and said we are goin to bed... i of course followed me being a guy i was trin to find some action. so i popprd my head in the room and asked if i can cuddle with them and one of them said yeah as long as you dont touch our vaginas and the other one said yeah no touching and i said ok. then they were like yeah we can all spoon, so all three of us just layed there kinda close together and talked a bit until they said ok we need to go to sleep and everyone got quiet and we passed out. what i want to know is if two girls allow me to sleep in the same bed with them is that an ok to fool around with them ? i was kinda confused and disappointed at he fact that i slept in a bed with two girls and came out empty handed haha.. i mean if they didnt want to fool around they would have told me no u cant sleep with us right ? should i have tried to make a move even if they said no touching ? or was this something girls would just say to not come across ****ty? so here is why im askin you girls on this board... i really didnt know where else to ask.

seeing how im a guy i dont really know how you girls think so thats why i was wondering...

tigerlilyx61 · 04-29-2007, 07:40 AM

I think no touching means no touching. If they had wanted to fool around they wouldn't have said that or if they had changed their minds they would have let you know in bed by initiating something.

hergy · 04-29-2007, 07:58 AM

Many girls will sleep together, hug, kiss, hold hands and are otherwise quite physical with each other, but in a non-sexual way.

However, I think inviting a guy who doesn't behave that way into the situation is unfair. Still, no is no.

You don't have to share a bed with a girl who invites you on those terms if you don't feel comfortable doing so.

I have a male friend to whom I am not sexually attracted. We're very open in our communication. I told him once that I could sleep in the same bed with him, no problem. But he quickly said, "I couldn't." I respect his honesty and his feelings, so we don't push it farther than that.

Affectionate girls often assume that guys are just as willing to touch in a non-sexual way as they are. They should think twice before pressuring a guy into a situation that can be perceived the wrong way.

Regardless, remember, no is no.

My best,

Nikki

Phoenix · 04-29-2007, 08:27 AM

Dear SG,

There are women that I have slept next to without anything happening of a sexual nature. There are also girls who said "no touching" only later to find out that they later initiated situations.

There was even a time that a woman thought there was something wrong with her the next morning,when I didn't "make the first move" so to speak.

Here lies the point: the girls set boundaries from the beginning, so this always needs to be respected.

One should not look for something that is not there.

You stated that you slept with them and came out with nothing, which could not be further from the truth.

You came out with their trust and respect; these two things are hard to earn and very easy to be taken away.

Take care
God Bless
FTM

marinewife12 · 04-29-2007, 09:55 AM

Girls honestly just like to cuddle. If they wanted action, they would have asked for it. If they are that comfortable to cuddle with a guy, then they're comfortable enough to ask for what they want. I used to love cuddling with my guy friends while we would watch a movie or whatever. Girls honestly are just cuddlers. And cuddling does not mean we want sex. It just means we like to cuddle!

They said no touching, and they meant no touching. If an hour later, one of them made a move, fine. If an hour later, one of them said "Um, so are you gonna make a move or should I?" then fine. But no touching means no touching. Period. End of story. That's all.

Forthemasses is correct when he said "girls set the boundaries and you need to respect them." And he's also right when he says that you have earned their trust and respect. That's huge. May not seem like a lot now...but later on they'll remember that you were that super sweet guy who cuddled with us that night and didn't try anything when we asked him not to. And that is something they will remember for the future.