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DontKnowAlot 05-18-2007 05:45 PM

First Time Couldnt Get An Errection

So me and my girlfriend decided that we were at the level in our relationship when we were both ready to have sex. We are both Virgins and haven't really done anything sexual with each other up untill now. Okay so when we first started [making out]... I asked her if she was ready and she said yes. I was very suprised becasuse when [we were starting] my penis was not becoming erect. All the time she was getting upset because it was taking so long. So i went to the bathroom and began masturbating i got it semi-hard and quickyl put on the condom i came back out, and discovered her clothes were back on and she was really angry. So i told her to lay back down, all the while my penis was begining to become soft again. So i laid down with her and we cuddled for a second. My penis began to become semi-hard again. So we got in the position me on top, and i began placing my penis on her vagina searching for the opening. I could not fing the opening for several minutes and my penis began to become soft again. I began to masturbate again and it became hard, so i was desprately tyring to find the opening again, and when i asked her for help putting it in she refused saying that i had to learn how to do it myself. [deleted] eventually my penis went soft and i gave up. I put my clothes back on and we cuddled in the bed and talked. She was angry but tried not to show it, so we decided i would come over the next day and try it again.

The next day [was also unsuccessful, after spending 5 minutes trying to find the opening, we gave up].

I masurbate about 3 times a week to adult porn could this have been a reason why i could not get erect?

I was nervous the first time we tried, but the second time i was calmer i heard nervousness could be a cause is this so?

It seemed as if she was rushing it because she said she wanted to get it over with this made me uncomftorable and she would not stop talking and i do not like that when doing something sexual with somebody

She did not seem aroused at all by the fingering and when a girl is aroused by something i do ussually i become aroused to.

Am i not normal because all of my friends i asked said they get an errection without a problem just knowing that they are about to have intercourse.


Silentcoldr 05-18-2007 11:55 PM

Re: First Time Couldnt Get An Errection
Ok, Well the first time i had sex i was very nervouse and i kept thinking to myself omg i can't believe im doing this. [ deleted ] you will soon get hard and be able to have sex with her when you're fully hard just give it time. and don't be nervouse tell her can you help me. i'm new at this and if i don't get help now i won't be able to just show me. and hopefully she will .... well good luck with that guy.

MrZeely 05-19-2007 07:40 AM

Re: First Time Couldnt Get An Errection
Its probably normal for alot of people, your first time is a nerve racking experience. Some people cant even get an erection when its about to happen, other people (like myself) can barely last 20 seconds their first time.

Dont worry, try to work on concentrating. If shes your girlfriend then try to work it out with her, she might understand and work with the problem. Other than that all i can say is just try a few more times, you'll eventually get used to it.

WRT876 05-19-2007 08:23 AM

Re: First Time Couldnt Get An Errection
it's inexperience and performance the way, if your girlfriend is not understanding, you may want to reevaluate the relationship. if she cares about you she won't act that way..if her attitude continues, dump her

DontKnowAlot 05-19-2007 06:28 PM

Re: First Time Couldnt Get An Errection
^^^ Thanks guys. I still need more responses dont really no what i should do so next time i can perform better

WRT876 05-20-2007 01:43 PM

Re: First Time Couldnt Get An Errection
it's performance anxiety..the whole fight or flight thing...does your heart beat fast, and adrenaline run through your body? when the body is full of adrenaline, you want be able to get an you need to go real slow with her..forget about intercourse..forget about performance..just please each other..the more you mess around w/out worrying about intercourse, the more comfortable you'll get in that situation..just go slow w/ her...if it still persists, go to a psychiatrist or urologist...[deleted] don't fret..this is very common and there is nothing wrong with will pass..i promise...

johnny fakename 05-20-2007 03:27 PM

Re: First Time Couldnt Get An Errection
Considering it's his first time i think it's too soon to declare erectile dysfunction.

DontKnowAlot 05-20-2007 04:06 PM

Re: First Time Couldnt Get An Errection
so u guys think its just anxiety

MrZeely 05-20-2007 06:21 PM

Re: First Time Couldnt Get An Errection
I just made a thread about this too, my first time was 20 seconds, second time (hour and a half later) was maybe 15 seconds, third time (month later) was 40 seconds, fourth time was about 40 seconds, fifth was about 2 minutes, sixth was about 2 minutes, now im going almost a full length.

Just practice, thats all i can say. Im just finishing this problem myself.

Tivo123 05-21-2007 10:40 AM

Re: First Time Couldnt Get An Errection
I think it was most likely a combination of things. First of all, you were totally nervous. From the way you described the scenario, a lot was not working out at the time. It's not surprising for someone who has never done it before and who has that many problems going into the situation to not be able to maintain an erection.

Secondly, your girlfriend was really mean and had no right to treat you that way. I agree with the other poster who said that if she continues having that kind of attitude with you as it pertains to sex then you need to dump her. Don't ever put up with that from anyone because it's not worth your time or effort. Having a girlfriend who has that kind of attitude problem is also going to make the problem worse because you're going to start feeling indadequate and the stress of that is going to make it really impossible for you to maintain an erection.

And third, you also need practice. Once you learn how to do it properly and get it right, then you'll see it works a lot easier. But make sure you're with a girl who is kind and respectful and who won't make you feel so bad again, because that will make a huge difference.

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