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Old 07-01-2007, 08:06 PM   #1
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Exclamation having to resort to unprotected sex?

Hey im new to this and this is my first "thread"? of my billions of questions..

me and my boyfriend of 3 months have decided we want to have sex, were both virgin. but now he recently told me he has claustrophobia and finds it hard to breathe when he puts a condom on. I know there are female condoms but I refuse to use them.. stubborn i know. I have the pill handy which Im still not 100% sure I want to use because of the side effects, but even still theres still the case of STDs.. however if either of us havnt had sex does that mean we would be fine having unprotected sex :S

help!! thankss!!

 
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Old 07-01-2007, 08:44 PM   #2
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Re: having to resort to unprotected sex?

i'm not fully familiar with claustrophobia, but what i do know it's the fear of enclosed spaces or feeling trapped. it is possible that he has a phobia of condoms, but it's not called claustrophobia. if i didn't know any better, he's full of BS. and if you're not comfortable with the pill or female condoms don't use them just for a guy! you should use them when you feel ready and comfortable. and as for the unprotected sex...if he hasn't had intercourse but has received oral sex he could have gotten something. but if both of you are clean (you can check by getting tested if you have doubts) then you shouldn't have to worry about getting anything. and then there's that big thing called *getting pregnant*. i hope you talk to your b/f about all these things. you need to find out about this "phobia" of his and if he won't give you straight answers, this probably isn't the right guy for your first time.

 
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Old 07-01-2007, 09:24 PM   #3
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Re: having to resort to unprotected sex?

He's totally BS'ing you. Claustrophobia is the fear of confined spaces... that's not to say you get it if a body part is covered. Does he get claustrophobic when he puts on jeans or his underwear/boxers? Probably not. Regardless of anything, ALWAYS use a condom!

-Greg

 
Old 07-02-2007, 02:24 AM   #4
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Re: having to resort to unprotected sex?

Always use a condom at first. If your in a long-term relationship, then you can consider it with the right measures - NEVER take the chance so early on.

 
Old 07-02-2007, 02:55 AM   #5
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Re: having to resort to unprotected sex?

This is one I hadn't heard yet! For heaven's sake, what will these people think of next? Any excuse not to do the right thing and put on a condom. I hope you didn't buy his BS.

 
Old 07-02-2007, 06:03 PM   #6
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Re: having to resort to unprotected sex?

So far, everyone has jumped on your bf over his... well, ridiculous claim, but I'm equally shocked at this: "I know there are female condoms but I refuse to use them.."

If both of you are going to be like that, then I think you'd better start taking those pills.

Basically, if neither of you have ever had any type of sexual activity before, then you can be pretty sure that you are STD-free (but remember, you don't have to actually have intercourse to catch an STD, even virgins can have STDs) and need only worry about birth control.

 
Old 07-02-2007, 08:57 PM   #7
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Re: having to resort to unprotected sex?

I also have claustraphobia, but I never feel claustraphobic to have part of my body part covered! Now if I had plastic wrap around my entire body or something, I would NOT be comfortable, but the condom should fit him very comfortably and shouldn't feel too tight.

If you are in a trusting relationship (probably yes, since you are thinking about sex), maybe the two of you can go talk to the doctor together about other options. If you want to have unprotected sex, you will need to be on the pill or patch to prevent pregnancy of course (take it perfectly since you won't have a backup method), but you should each go to the doctor to get tested for STD's first. You can catch them other ways than sex, but most likely you don't have one if you are both virgins. Just make sure you are in a trusting relationship.. I have heard horrible stories about girls who had boys mess around with somebody else and give them an STD! So sad!

 
Old 07-02-2007, 09:14 PM   #8
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Re: having to resort to unprotected sex?

don't fall for it.....tell him you'll feel awful claustraphobic with a crying baby attached to your hip 24/7
It's just a line.....and a new one at that.....he's very creative....I'll give him that, but seriously don't take the chance.
It's just not worth messing up the rest of your life over.

 
Old 07-03-2007, 06:42 AM   #9
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Re: having to resort to unprotected sex?

thanks for the help guys!! much needed as he would prefer me not to tell anione i know as he is embarrased..

but the way i've put it, ive kinda made him sound like the jerk. Just to let u no, i do trust him soo much I know he is one to not lie, he says he is willing to use protection but he says he starts to hyperventilate when he does, unless he goes reeeeally slowly - then maybe he wont.

NB: hes asmatic.. maybe that would explain something :S ?

i realli want to go that way with our relationship, but i guess its just taking a GIANT step consdering im most likely to have my first time unprotected..

basically - this may sound stupid.. but i wasnt sure if u could inherit STDs.. but if you defenently cant be born with them then im 100% sure that neither of us have any.

 
Old 07-03-2007, 08:17 AM   #10
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Re: having to resort to unprotected sex?

There's definitely nothing wrong with getting tested for STDs even if you're 99.9% sure you don't have one. Who knows if you really can catch something from a toilet seat!?

You two should go together to get tested, just to be 110% positive. Then look at all your birth control options, whether its pills, condoms, patches, gels.. ect.

He may start hyperventilating b/c of nervousnesss... not the condom. If that's true, then he's probably just not quite ready mentally to be having sex. And there's nothing wrong with that. If he's tried condoms that feel too tight on him, like they're cutting off the circulation, then tell him to try Trojan Magnums. They're larger. Maybe he's just wearing one thats too small.

As much as you both may want to have sex.. wait until you find a reliable and safe way to protect yourselves. It's not worth the alternative.

Last edited by jen52983; 07-03-2007 at 08:18 AM.

 
Old 07-03-2007, 08:21 AM   #11
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Re: having to resort to unprotected sex?

Quote:
Originally Posted by tessta91 View Post
but he says he starts to hyperventilate when he does, unless he goes reeeeally slowly - then maybe he wont.
tell him you will help him face his fears head on.....

 
Old 07-05-2007, 01:45 AM   #12
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Re: having to resort to unprotected sex?

Does he realize that a condom does not enclose your whole body, but just the penis??? I mean, come on.........this is ridiculous. If you aren't going to have sex responsibly, you shouldn't be engaging in it at all, unless of course you are fully prepared to face the consequences. From what your original post states, you aren't willing to use a female condom and he isn't willing to use a condom..........neither of you are responsible enough to have sex as far as I'm concerned.

Also, you say that you are 100% certain that neither of you have any STD's, which would mean that neither of you have had any sexual contact genitally at all............so why has he worn condoms before, or at least tried to wear them if he has never had a reason to??? Just wondering.

 
Old 07-05-2007, 09:26 AM   #13
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Re: having to resort to unprotected sex?

Sorry but having asthma is not a free ticket to get out of wearing a condom. My bf has had asthma since he was a child and he wore them.

Claustrophobia is an abnormal fear of a whole person being in narrow or enclosed spaces not body parts.

 
Old 07-06-2007, 05:57 AM   #14
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Re: having to resort to unprotected sex?

Quote:
Originally Posted by tessta91 View Post
but now he recently told me he has claustrophobia and finds it hard to breathe when he puts a condom on.
Truly one of the silliest things I've ever heard in my life. I think he is lying. I know he is lying. Clausterphobia has nothing to do with it. I have clausterphobia and it's hard for me to be in tight, confined spaces, particularly in crowds. It has nothing at all to do with condoms. I think that he either doesn't know what the word means or he is totally lying to you or both.

In any case, I would never resort to unprotected sex just because I have an idiot boyfriend like you do. I would instead work with him on a solution to his problem and if he wasn't willing to fix it, then I would not sleep with him at all.

I really hope you didnt' believe him when he said this to you. Maybe he needs you to buy him a dictionary so he can look up big words that he uses and knows what he is saying when he uses certain words.

 
Old 07-12-2007, 08:35 AM   #15
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Re: having to resort to unprotected sex?

haha, wat a dumbie, he just doesnt want to wear a condom cuz one of his buddies probably said it feels better without it, just to scare him, tell him if you get pregnant ur gunna keep the child, he'll think twice b4 saying that BS again.... be smart, be safe, use a condom

 
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