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Old 11-05-2008, 12:48 PM   #1
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Should I tell her im a virgin?

I am 19 and I found a 16 year old girl who is a virgin too, I really like her and I want to go to the next level in our relationship. I am just wondering, should I tell her I'm a virgin? Because I know 19 is too old and it might be emberrassing. I just don't know whether she'll like it.

Oh and should I use a condom? If both of us are virgins, are there any diseases we can still give each other?

 
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Old 11-05-2008, 03:23 PM   #2
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Re: Should I tell her im a virgin?

I do think you should tell her you are a virgin, she may even like it, as some girls out there do like that sort of thing. The fact that she is a virgin means that you will both be learning together, so just take your time in adjusting to the new stage of your relationship if it goes that far. You also asked if you should use a condom, well this decision is really up to the two of you, but I highly recommend it if you want to avoid pregnancy. Even though the risk of any diseases is zero, as long as you are both truly virgins (with the exception of some that could have been passed to you at birth), there is the risk of pregnancy occuring. This holds true even if she is taking the pill or using another form of birth control, though these things do minimize the risk of pregnancy happening. Also, with you being over the age of 18, I would look into the laws in your state to ensure that she is of the age of consent and that you are not breaking any laws by becoming sexual with her. If she is under the age of consent in your state, I highly recommend you wait, otherwise you could end up with a criminal record that states you are a sex offender. Be smart about things before you jump into them, and you will be fine.
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Old 11-05-2008, 06:34 PM   #3
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Re: Should I tell her im a virgin?

The previous poster gives excellent advice. Virgin males often stumble and be askeard, and may climax too soon or not be able to climax at all, and if she thinks you know what you are doing and you have problems, she might lose confidence in you. If she knows you are inexperienced, she won't wonder so much.

 
Old 11-06-2008, 12:09 PM   #4
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Re: Should I tell her im a virgin?

Ok thanks, it's good advice. But about the law, if I have sex with her and she doesn't tell anyone, is this safe? Oh and looking in the future, what if I break up with her and she tells about it like months later, is there still a chance I get a criminal record?

And what if she keeps saying it's alright, should I just do it?

 
Old 11-06-2008, 03:56 PM   #5
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Re: Should I tell her im a virgin?

As far as the law goes, if you do not get caught you will be fine. However, keep in mind that it does not have to come from her, as anyone who knows you are violating the law could report you. This reporting would result in an investigation and if she is under the age of consent, the authorities will prosecute you for statutory rape. Also, even if it is reported months after the incident, yes you can still be prosecuted for the crime. This is something to truly consider carefully before you commit to such a step in your relationship. By the way, in the case that parents give consent to an illegal sexual relationship, some states will prosecute the parents for neglect or sexual abuse. You have to be careful if she is under the age of consent in your state. I recommend that if she is you resist her assurances and inform her of any possible penalties that you could incur from these actions. All I can do is advise you to be careful, and protect yourself. After all, if the love is true, the sexual aspect of the relationship can wait until the consequences are completely under the control of those engaging in the act and the law is no longer a possible obstacle. I would simply ask her to practice restraint until she is old enough. In other words, think with your head, not with your desires. Hope this helps you in your situation.
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Old 11-06-2008, 05:17 PM   #6
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Re: Should I tell her im a virgin?

The legal age of consent in the Netherlands is 16 (unless she is a prostitute - strange but true!) so you should be ok there.

Whether you tell her you are a virgin depends on various things, if you are supremely confident that you can carry out sexual intercourse without her knowing you are a virgin, then maybe you don't need to. But, 19 is not too old not to still be a male virgin at all - ignore peer pressure about this, do it when you feel comfortable or the situation arises.

With regards to should you wear a condom, your justification was that you are both virgins, which suggests you will need to tell her to stand any chance of her believing you are STI free! But of course you should wear a condom, unless you want a child in 9 months time!

 
Old 11-09-2008, 01:57 PM   #7
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Re: Should I tell her im a virgin?

yes tell her! i dont know the girl but it will probably relax her shes probably as nervous as you! its nice if you loose it at the same time, because then your both at the same stage and have no need to be worried.

yes use a condom just incase and because it might put her off if you dont.

hope this helps.

 
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