okiedokie, im really really really new to this. its taken me like an hour or two to figure out how to post something haha
anyway, im almost 16, and my outer labia is.. well i dont know how to describe it. they're not too long but they just look odd (sorrry for not giving much detail can't think of a way to describe them)
is there anyway to tone it? i know there's surgery but there is no way im talking to my parents about it. my boyfriend and i have been going out for a few months and since im extremely (and i mean extremely) self conscious it's affecting our relationship so im trying to work on my self esteem since i completely hate my body. every single part of it.
so, my questions:
can you tone the outer labia?
what can you use to remove hair apart from shaving?
do guys care about it? because im real scared of what my boyfriend will think if we have sex
i feel ugly and disgusting. anyone able to help?
ps, im a virgin, haha and will be till i accept my body thats why im starting here
Last edited by sugarsugar; 12-30-2008 at 05:38 AM.
As far as I know, there isn't a way to tone the labia, but I haven't looked into it much, but I also haven't read much just surfing either, so I can't really help you on that question.
As for hair removal, you can shave or you can wax. You can go to a target or a walmart etc. and you lok in the shaving aisle (at least that's where they are at my stores where I live). I believe there are a few different brands, one of them being nair that has hair removal for pubic, facial, legs, etc... they even have a bikini wax available.
And for what your boyfriend will think, to fin dout if he'll care you'd have to ask him because every guy is different, just like every girl. Some care, some don't, some like a little hair, etc. Here's a tip on this one if your guy is kinda laid back, or maybe even if he isn't. When you know you guys are going to take it up a step, in other words decide to have sex, tell him that you want to "prepare" and ask him things like "do ou want me to shave?" "are you going to supply the condoms?" (really do ask that question, and maybe bring some anyway, but under NO circumstances have sex without protection). Make sure, if you do say this, that you try to look your best because otherwise it might look more suspicious. Hope that helps a little and sorry I couldn't really answer your first question.
You can't change your labia except through surgery, and I wouldn't recommend that in any case. You can't really tone them because they aren't a muscle. Plus, most women's bodies do not look much like the little pen diagrams in your health ed book, anyway, you're probably normal.
The extremely sensitive nerves attached to your clitoris run through the labia majora, and if they are damaged or irritated by the surgery, you could wind up in serious pain, or unable to enjoy sex, ever.
I really doubt your boyfriend is going to be disappointed by what your labia look like. He's going to be looking at the beautiful rest of you--and worrying about his own insecurities.
And yes, bring your own condoms and make sure you know how to use them correctly.
thank you to both of you
to sunshine i think it was, i meant will he mind about the labia hehe but thanks heaps for both of your answers
looks like i can't do anything about it
why are the textbooks like that then? silly booooks.
There is nothing you can do about the labia through exercise or toning. They is what they is. Trust me, when you become more comfortable with your body, you will discover they are fine just as they are! As for the books? Who knows why the drawings are the way they are, and what does it matter? You are who YOU are!
As for your boyfriend minding what your labia looks like? Well, I'm quite a few years older than you, but I doubt things have changed that much. Chances are if you two are ever ready to have sex, he'll be so thankful he won't even care. (Here's a tip: no matter how old they get, men don't care about this) My unasked for advice (and you know what you can do with that!) is never have unprotected sex and to make sure YOU are really, really ready for that big step. Remember, it's YOUR decision!
Please know that just as the length, width and sometimes even the shape of a penis can vary tremendously, so can a female's anatomy. Labia come in all sizes. I wonder why you feel that yours are so out of proportion (if I'm understanding you correctly)? Are you comparing yourself to magazine pictures? If so, you should also realize that those pictures are routinely airbrushed and anatomy reshaped to show a "perfect" female, which doesn't really exist.
A lot of girls get stressed over what happens to their vulvas when they hit puberty. No one really prepares you for it but trust me, they don't usually look like what they did before puberty, despite the overly simplistic illustrations you might find. They come in all kinds shapes, sizes - and colors in fact. I'm sure yours are just fine.