I need to know if my girlfriend was a virgin. She claims she is, my friends say she is not, i don't know what to think. Before we started dating, her ex bf (my friend) and her were in her basement drunk and naked making out. He was on top of her and he began to slide his penis inside of her, when she realized what was happening and the pain hit she told him to get out cause it hurt like hell and was too big. He got just his head inside of her and a few moments later tried again, this time he slid it a little more, just past the head of his penis in her vagina and held it there for like a minute with no penetration. She could not take the pain and he pulled out. That was the last time they got together.
So about a month later we started dating and we did have sex and She claims I took her virginity, I too was a virgin so it was special to do it with another virgin.
However my friend claims he is the one who actually took her virginity...
I want to believe she was, but I really don't know if she was... Is it possible she lost her virginity without having actuall sex?
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This depends on your definition of virgin. If you are talking about viganal sex then the would be by the sound of it. Try talking with your girlfriend if you are worried about it or just go on what you believe.
The Following User Says Thank You to coolman 3 For This Useful Post: arjunvarun007 (05-22-2012)
I agree that it depends on your definition of virgin and 'actual sex'.
The dictionary gives 'virgin' as someone who has never had sexual intercourse. Sexual intercourse is the insertion of a penis into the vagina. Since that's happened, even if it just was the head, she would technically not be a virgin. And if you want to look at it more in the spirit of the term (pure), again, since she'd been very intimate with a person (naked and making out, beginning intercourse) it would also lean to no, not a virgin. Also, your description of her pain sounds like he was tearing her hymen, which is pretty much says it all.
But all that said, what does it matter? You know the intimate details of her last attempt, and you know what went on between you two, isn't that enough? Does being able to claim her actual virginity make it any more important?
Not that I'm equating what when on with your gf and that guy with a rape, but like a woman who loses her virginity to a rape could still rightfully consider herself a virgin to consensual sex, your girlfriend could still consider herself having been a virgin to completed sex.
Anyway, I sure hope your friend isn't trying to belittle your relationship with your girlfriend and boasting about his conquest.
Close call either way in my book, but what the heck does it matter? You know the details so why let some technicality or strick intrepretation guide how you feel? From what you say, you were the first to get it all the way in and in her own mind you were her first. That is what is important. Your guy friend makes a good point, but if he didn't get past the hymen, then maybe he loses, though if he did and simply got stuck, then he is probably right but, again, you made it all the way in and that is what matters in her book.
Actually, if he is trying to argue the point when he knows you like her, he is being a bit of a jerk, and he is possibly a borderline rapist too if he continued with sex after she told him no. You really need to make him aware that if he proceeds when a girl says no, even if she doesn't fight him, it is still legally rape and he could find himself in jail if he does this again.