first time... i'm embarassed - Sexual Health - Teens Message Board

xRandomPerson · 03-08-2009, 01:58 AM

So friday night i go to this girls party, ill name her H. We start drinking and H starts getting flirty with me and sitting on my lap and stuff, this made me very surprised because i had no idea that she even liked me, i had only hung out with her a couple times but i do see her at school sometimes. We then start making out and stuff. Later in the night when the party has ended, we all go upstairs to go to sleep. H and i then go into a room with a bunk bed and we go up to the top bunk. For some reason there were like 5 other people in the room and they are like laughing and encouraging H and i to have sex since we were both virgins we didnt really know what to do and we were nervous. So after a while this girl asks if we are having sex yet but we werent, so she begins to pull off our pants and hands me a condom. So i start fingering H a little bit but she wanted to use my penis instead so i get on top of her and start trying to have sex with her but i couldnt seem to insert it in her and when i finally did it kept slipping out because i couldnt seem to get a full erection even though i had several earlier in the night. What made it worse was that the other people in the room kept laughing and making fun of us which made it even more stressful for me. And then i had to go to the bathroom which was even more embarrassing for me. So while i was in the bathroom i tried to masturbate to get an erection but it just wasnt working. So when i come out of the bathroom, H and i go downstairs so we could be alone. So while we are in the bed we try again but i just couldnt seem to get an erection. For the rest of the night we just cuddled and talked untill we fell asleep. In the morning after i woke up i just went into the bathroom and sat in there for a while because i felt so embarrassed. So when i finally work up the courage to leave i go out and they are all asking us about how it was and everything but im just to embarrassed to talk about it so i end up leaving.

All day after the party i just felt nauseous and didnt have an appetite at all. I havent talked to H yet but i talked to her friend and she told me that H was feeling the same way but she had a really fun time with me. Now im just afraid to see her again because it will be really ackward. And im scared that she doesnt like me anymore.

So ya...Im sorry if i dont make sense or whatever, but i couldnt sleep because of this and i just felt like i had to ask for help or advice.

-Oh ya, by the way im 16 and shes 17.

xRandomPerson · 03-08-2009, 05:33 AM

long story short- i tried to have sex with a girl, we were both virgins, i couldnt get a full erection, i lost the erection and couldnt get another one, the next day i felt weird and super embarrassed...

anonymous1909 · 03-08-2009, 08:30 AM

Ah mate i feel for you. Nothing to worry about though, we cant change the past so look at the positives in the experience... or at least try to.

When you're as pressurised as you were im not surprised you couldnt get an erection. People watching and a lot of pressure and a strange environment all adds up making it a lot more difficult to get an erection. .
Its likely to be significantly easier if you are relaxed, alone with the girl and feel ready; not having it forced on you.

Maybe just try to make sure next time you're alone

should make this so much easier and just generally better for you.

arca · 03-08-2009, 10:08 PM

hey,
really dont worry about it, you are not alone, the first time i tried to have sex with my girlfriend (not too long ago) i had exactly the same problem.
We were being intimate, kissing, petting (you get the idea) and as we were goign to have sex finally i couldnt get an erection even though most of the night i had one, she was very understanding and like you we just kind of went to sleep afterwards.
A few days later i was round at hers again and the same thing happened, needless to say i was not feeling great about it but we talked about it, and because it was my first time i think it was because i was nervous so she said next time i come over we will take it slowly and just get comfortable being with her, and get used to the thought of being very intimate. Because i wasnt worrying about expecting to do aything or have sex i was alot less nervous and much more calm, towards the end of the night, after alot of intimacy/foreplay we ended up having sex, it felt much more enjoyable and relaxed than it had before because i wasnt thinking i was expected to do it, sure i was still nervous but i had talked to the girl about it.
You are not alone in being embarassed and not being able to perform, i think it would help you alot to talk to her about it and get comfortable with her first, as to some people thats what you need, you cant be expected to just perform on cue when you could be scared/nervous/anxious (i felt all of these)

Hope this helps

Arca

xRandomPerson · 03-09-2009, 03:16 AM

Thanks guys, i feel a little better now.

Hopefully we can try again, maybe next weekend. But next time im gonna make sure we are alone and comfortable. Hopefully it will work out this time.

I still feel weird though especially around family, but i feel much better when with my friends. I still havent had much of an appetite though.