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Old 03-31-2011, 06:29 PM   #1
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Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Washington state
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Kandikid HB User
First time having sex--just want some insight

My hymen is the ONLY thing that is freaking me out. I mean, I'm not all that comfortable with my body, but that's whatever (chubby, small breasts, acne). I am mostly worried about my hymen. I have a septate hymen. I also think I might have a "normal" hymen, which makes things even tighter down there. I was going to get it removed, but my mom just didn't see the point in me doing that.

It is just really tight down there. I can fit a normal sized tampon up there (have only had one get caught while taking it out--that's how I found out about my septate hymen), that isn't a problem at all. I have use a vibrator before, it wasn't "huge" though. That kind of hurt, but it was bearable. I have a feeling the guy I am considering having sex with is larger than that vibrator though.

I just was wondering if anyone maybe had some feedback to give me about this. I have talked to him about me being nervous about my hymen/pain and he totally understand. I trust him and I know if I asked him to stop he would. He will take good care of me and will make my "first time" as enjoyable as possible. He is not pressuring me to have sex. He wants me to do what is going to best for me. As I said, if I asked him to stop, he would.

Sorry for the novel everyone!! Thanks for reading.

 
Old 04-01-2011, 09:04 PM   #2
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Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: CA
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setare7 HB User
Re: First time having sex--just want some insight

I don't know about septate hymens but I do know that communication on your part is crucial to ease the process, the first time might hurt and you need to make sure you are letting him know right away if it's too painful. That is great that he is verbally supportive, but once excited, you never know if he'll stop hearing you and be so lost in the moment that he can't help but do what feels good, don't be shy to speak up.That said, you will be amazed at your body's ability to lubricate and let you know if and when the sex is supposed to be happening (use your body as a guide!) Generally, the more relaxed you are and truly trusting of him and this relationship and this sex, the less likely you'll feel such pain and will actually enjoy it more.

Most importantly, I would recommend waiting until you actually are comfortable with your body...hymen and all. I know you said "that's whatever" ...but it is very important. Please make sure it's protected...that is even more important than hymen pain, which many of us were scared of too..I understand. Your health---physically and emotionally--comes first..and please don't think I'm lecturing you. This applies to any woman, any age, and that is wise of you to want to prepare yourself first. I recommend speaking with a professional who can put your mind completely at ease. take care..

 
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Old 04-01-2011, 10:52 PM   #3
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Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Washington state
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Kandikid HB User
Re: First time having sex--just want some insight

Thank you for the great reply, setare7; I'm very thankful that you took the time to type that out. I will listen to my body for sure. I trust my body and I know it will tell me if the time is not right.

I understand what you are saying and I know you weren't trying to lecture me. I think it might be a good idea to wait a little longer, but at the same time I think having sex might work the other way and make me feel better about myself. I don't know how to explain what I mean without it sounding ignorant (probably is ignorant then haha).

So from the little Google research I did do, it sounds like Orejel is OK for vaginal use. Is this correct? I was expressing my concerns to him and he suggested we try Orejel. I thought it was an okay idea, I just want to see if anyone has any experience with using it for that.

Thank you!

 
Old 04-12-2011, 01:12 AM   #4
Newbie
(female)
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Washington state
Posts: 7
Kandikid HB User
Re: First time having sex--just want some insight

Just wanted to update anyone who might be interested....

So I did end up having sex with the guy. We used some orejel type stuff (it was a bit stronger than normal orejel), which helped a LOT. It was still extremely painful and took a few minutes for him to actually get it in. I started crying due to the pain, but he took good care of me.

So no more septate hymen for me!! It was actually a pretty good experience. I have no regrets about what happened and am feeling good about everything.

Yay!

 
Old 04-18-2011, 09:02 AM   #5
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Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Apalachin
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xathenax2x HB User
Re: First time having sex--just want some insight

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kandikid View Post
My hymen is the ONLY thing that is freaking me out. I mean, I'm not all that comfortable with my body, but that's whatever (chubby, small breasts, acne). I am mostly worried about my hymen. I have a septate hymen. I also think I might have a "normal" hymen, which makes things even tighter down there. I was going to get it removed, but my mom just didn't see the point in me doing that.

It is just really tight down there. I can fit a normal sized tampon up there (have only had one get caught while taking it out--that's how I found out about my septate hymen), that isn't a problem at all. I have use a vibrator before, it wasn't "huge" though. That kind of hurt, but it was bearable. I have a feeling the guy I am considering having sex with is larger than that vibrator though.

I just was wondering if anyone maybe had some feedback to give me about this. I have talked to him about me being nervous about my hymen/pain and he totally understand. I trust him and I know if I asked him to stop he would. He will take good care of me and will make my "first time" as enjoyable as possible. He is not pressuring me to have sex. He wants me to do what is going to best for me. As I said, if I asked him to stop, he would.

Sorry for the novel everyone!! Thanks for reading.




when i had my first time having sex it hurt really bad and i bled for 3 days but if it hurts too much make him stop becuase you dont want tearing. space it out like it took me 3 days for the rest of my hymen to pop. so be careful and dont push it too much. also make sure he oraly stimualtes you and get you ready and wet so it might not hurt too much and make sure he goes slow while penetraiting you. also use a condom, its your safe bet.

 
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