Hello, I feel really disappointed and ashamed right now.
I read a while ago in a magazine about the male prostate and that fingering it is supposed to be so cool and I had already tried inserting a finger in my butt and it didn't feel bad even though I didn't find the prostate and then I thought maybe I could try inserting something else and bought a cheap bullet vibrator which looks like a silver egg only smaller and vibrates. It is attached to a control unit with a cable.
First I turned it on and check it out and pressed it against my penis and it felt good because on some places on the penis the vibrations felt uncomfortable. Do you think you could hurt something when the vibrations are too strong?
And then after I was aroused I wanted to check out how it would feel if I inserted this thing in the butt and I put the vibrating bullet in a condom and then lubed the condom up and inserted it which wasn't that easy but after a few attempts it worked and then I turned it on but it I didn't really feel much at all. I had thought maybe this is so cool and a totally new dimension of arousal but I really did not feel much and then the thing also suddenly stopped working and I had to pull it out and then try to make it work again and then it worked again and I inserted it again but it really didn't feel that great.
But afterwards I felt totally dirty and ashamed of what I had done and I thought what if this was somehow dangerous? Could I get a STD this way or something else? Is it dangerous to insert something vibrating in your butt?
And the lube which I used also smells totally disgusting. I have washed my hands at least 20 times and they still smell like this stuff and there are also chemicals in it (methylparabene) which I read is not healthy. Do you think it was dangerous using this lube in the rectum where the mucous membranes absorb it? But I also didn't really use that much only a few drops.
I also thought what is this bullet wasn't clean? I only rubbed it with a wet towel or what if the lube isn't clean and contained bacteria or something else?
I feel really miserable now. I wish I hadn't read about this stupid stuff and been tempted to do something like this. I can't really understand it myself but sometimes when you're horny you do stupid stuff.