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Old 03-15-2011, 08:42 PM   #1
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im i a lesbian because my moms ex boyfriend molested me?

ok, so when i was little i got molested by my moms ex boyfriend and it has made me feel uncomfortable around guys. im a lesbian and ive tryed to become straight and date boys but they make me all uncomfortable and its just idk.. any advice/help or anything?

 
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Old 03-19-2011, 01:26 PM   #2
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Re: im i a lesbian cos my moms ex boyfriend molested me?

It would be good for you to find a support group so you can talk to other people that have gone through the same thing as you. It can be extremely difficult to overcome these feelings without the help of others. Remember that not all men are bad. The best thing for you to do is to not push yourself to do something that makes you uncomfortable but at the same time, try not to avoid the issue.

What I mean by this is that you should not force yourself to date men but you should not avoid having male friends just because they are male. Try to think about who the person is as a person and do not focus on their gender. A gay male friend may be helpful since you know in your mind that they have no desire to be anything more than friends with you.

When it comes to you being a lesbian, do you believe you are a lesbian because you are truly attracted to women or because you are uncomfortable around men? If you believe you are truly attracted to women, you may not be able to change that. As much as many people try to say it is a choice, homosexuality is not something that can be turned off like a light.

Good luck to you. I hope in time that you find some closure with this issue.

Last edited by Bob652; 03-19-2011 at 01:28 PM.

 
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Old 04-30-2011, 12:22 PM   #3
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Re: im i a lesbian cos my moms ex boyfriend molested me?

I agree with what the last guy posted.
Go find an all girl support group and get all your feelings out. I know its hard to trust men, especially after an experience like that, but it helps to know that not all men are the same. Take it easy and don't force your self to do something your not ready to do, like being friends with a guy or dating one. As for being lesbian, if you are attracted to women, then so be it. If your not attracted to women bit you feel like thats your only option because of your distrust in guys, then, like I said before, Try a support group, once you think you can feel comfortable enough to confront a guy then talk to him and maybe become friends with one. From there you might be able to slowly trust men more and figure out if your actually lesbian or if your just bisexual.

 
Old 05-09-2011, 03:27 PM   #4
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Re: im i a lesbian cos my moms ex boyfriend molested me?

I completely agree with Bob 652 -- he covered just about all of it.

I am curious -- let's say your attraction to females in genuine -- and not simply a way to avoid males. Would you still be "trying to be straight?" And, if so, how come?

 
Old 05-09-2011, 03:37 PM   #5
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Re: im i a lesbian cos my moms ex boyfriend molested me?

Quote:
Originally Posted by ZombieSlayer View Post
ok, so when i was little i got molested by my moms ex boyfriend and it has made me feel uncomfortable around guys. im a lesbian and ive tryed to become straight and date boys but they make me all uncomfortable and its just idk.. any advice/help or anything?
i'm confused, i read a couple of your earlier posts and you say your abuser was a female....your first girlfriend is abusive to you.....

 
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