Hello, I am a teen and for the past week or so have been having confusing thoughts over my sexuality I am straight and have had a girlfriend in the past and I think I like a girl now, its just this anxiety is getting to me and I am very worried as I count myself as straight, I have thoughts about girls (which I hope is normal) but have had thoughts of men as well: and I am very anxious and scared, and I would like to know what to do? And if this is just a phase or what?
Thanks a lot, please reply!
Young teens often have conflicting thoughts about their sexuality. There is absolutely nothing wrong with thinking about girls, guys, or both. Just because you think certain things, it doesn't make you "gay" or "bi". Only you can know what you truly are. Don't be anxious about not thinking "straight" thoughts, because over time you'll realize who you're really attracted to. You may want to have a relationship with just guys, or just girls, or you may date both. You should just do whatever makes you happy and not worry about your sexual preference.
It is very normal at your age, or at any age to have all sorts of thoughts and desires and fantasies. Do not make yourself unduly worried about these things. They will be sorted out as time passes and as you mature.
Unfortunately a lot of confusion and anxiety about our sexuality is caused by the media and our overexposure to a lot of conflicting messages. They are enough to make anyone crazy let alone a teenager who is just coming to gips with their personality and not just their sexuality.
So, stop worrying . Things have a way of sorting themselves out without us realizing it.
ok thanks a lot you two shall i not be worried then? although, I am so ashamed to admit this but when I have masturbated before I have thought of a man and also touching(fingering *cough cough) my anal :/ I am so ashamed after that I have nearly been sick and I am worried if this is normal or obviously not?
The following user gives a hug of support to valentino11:
I wouldn't start feeling guilty about these things, Valentino.
You are too young and you are only experimenting. Eventually, everything will be sorted out.
Do not forget that fantasies, are just that: Fantasies. Nothing else. Do not try to read behind the lines because of the way you and everyone else is brought up to think that some things are dirty. For example a lot of women have fantasies about other women, and it doesn't even cross their minds that they might be lesbians or have lesbian tendencies. So, do not worry about it.
Right now your hormones are all over the place. That's completely normal for your age. I think if you asked a lot of guys, and they were being 100% honest, I'm sure some have had dreams about guys and fantasized about them, but they still have a gf or wife. I can't really say how long this will last, or if it will ever go away, but it's nothing to worry about because after awhile you will realize it's no big deal. You'll either stop fantasizing about guys, or you won't.
As a side note, anal play doesn't make you straight or gay. I know guys who have never thought about other guys in a sexual way and still love to finger themselves or play with toys. It feels good for guys AND girls and it doesn't make you straight or gay. If it feels good for you, just keep doing it.