Join Date: Aug 2008
Re: Advice on life
I think Fles has made some great points...where there is an opportunity to make some changes, do so! Of course, with all that is going on in your home life, it creates quite a distraction from keeping things going smoothly, but you can put yourself on a personal schedule that offers you a chance to work on your own priorities, while your parents work on theirs. While you are helpless at changing what is going on with them, you are far from powerless in making your life a little better. Doing so will really give a kick to your self esteem, when you see the progress that you have both created and accomplished.
When it comes to doing the things that are required of you, such as your school work and your job, do them to your best ability. Doing a halfway job has not benefit to anyone, and will show you no rewards. While you are doing such things, put your heart into them, see what you can really do if you put your mind to it. From there, you will be more likely to also receive external rewards, such as good grades, job promotions, raises, and a much better attitude towards them. What you put into things is a direct link to what you will get out of them, and that goes for everything in life. You will never waste your time when you are doing things to the very best of your ability.
Most importantly, you are preparing yourself for your own life ahead. Practicing your skills and your work ethic is very important, as you are at the point in your life where independence is right around the corner. Soon enough it will be up to you to provide and create your own life. While it is a big responsibility, it is also a very exciting time of your life.
We all get to make choices about just about everything that comes our way each day. That includes how we choose to look at things, and the attitude we choose to have. To have a good attitude, it takes some practice, but it is completely up to us as to which way we choose to go. yes, it is easier to just blow things off, and choose the easy way out, but it is equally possible to choose to make our lives happy and rich with experience. We can choose to treat people poorly, or to treat them as if we want them to treat us. It is amazing at the difference in how you get treated when you treat others with a smile, a compliment and an open ear.
Although you are at a tough part of your life, you also have the world at your fingertips. From here, you can decide which path you want to travel on, not what your parents have put you on. I encourage you to take your self by the hand and lead yourself into the world on your own terms, leaving the past behind you. There is no obstacle too big to take on, as long as you believe in yourself, and don't allow yourself to be defeated. Surround yourself with good people, positive people going places in life.
As far as your physical issues, again Fles is so right. Men do have a tendency to underestimate their size...maybe because of the angle at which you are looking, or because of some misunderstanding about what is normal. From a mature woman who has been lucky enough to have had some wonderful men in my life, the size of a man is the least of our worries, and should be yours too. What we are looking for are men who are kind, funny, warm and loveable. Men like that come in every shape, size, and style. What we love most about you in your attitude toward life, your drive to live your life fully and your ability to offer your love openly and honestly. You will notice that no where in that list is any measurements.
One day these things that are causing you confusion and pain will be gone. It is up to you to decide how you are going to come out of it, as a damaged young man, or as a strong and determined man. Yes, the latter is a bit harder, but as mentioned before, what you put into anything, will directly result in what you get out of it. You have your mother as a wonderful role model for a hard working never give up kind of woman. That is a great place for you to start. Use your mothers strength to help you through the tough parts, and use your fathers example as what you do not want for yourself. You can do this!
Best to you, Janet
Last edited by writeleft; 07-14-2011 at 08:29 AM.