Question for the teens (and maybe parents) - Sexual Health - Teens Message Board

smilesunshine · 02-11-2003, 08:22 PM

As a teen, are you given a "safe place" to have sex meaning are you allowed to have sex in your parents home or allowed to have sex with their knowledge? How does this freedom (or lack thereof) affect your attitudes about sex. I'm just curious. As a 30 year old, I realize that times are changing. I however, waited until I was married at the age of 28. My husband and I lost our virginity to each other.

ps - this question is not directed to the underaged, so please do not comment on illegal activity. Thank you.

wrin · 02-11-2003, 08:54 PM

My parents didn't really take a hands-off approach to all-out sexual intercourse until after I was 18.

By then, I had already lost my virginity, and had gotten quite a speech about it, and had been celibate for two years because of it. I'm not sure if their hands-off thing was because they felt I was old enough and mature enough, or if it was because I had already 'done the damage' so to speak.

(The guy I lost my virginity to is not the guy I am sleeping with now, though. I suspect it's a combination of the two.)

Apollo · 02-11-2003, 11:13 PM

I have to probably rasie my hand on this one, and say that my parents are different than alot of parents. I was pretty much freely, in most respect, have a my girlfriend over, and to be left alone in my bedroom. They leave me alone to most respect, and they have walked in on some unsightly times, but at frist it seemed kind of weird, having sex while your parents are home, going on in their day to day lives. I guess after the nervousty went away, we jsut kind of forgot, and went on in what we were doing. I think parents are touchy on this subject. They would rather have their kids having sex in a car on some alley, jsut so they wouldn't know about it. I think that is bad parenting, in any respects. If I was a parent, if I trusted my children enough, they could ask me to let them have the house for some time alone. That would mean they can't leave the house, I would know where they were, and that they were in a decently safe place. Does that sound reasonable. I konw I am not a parent (thank ****), but looking at it as a teenager, it seems pretty good.

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Personal Information:
Sex: Male
Age: Under the age of 18
Sexually active

smilesunshine · 02-12-2003, 08:43 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Apollo:
If I was a parent, if I trusted my children enough, they could ask me to let them have the house for some time alone.

'Ask you' for time alone? WOW...

mlgable · 02-12-2003, 09:23 AM

As a parent this is a really tough call but I would hope that I have been open enough with my children that if they felt they were ready for sex they could come to me and ask my opinion/views on premarital sex. My main concern to anyone having sex even with protection is to make sure that both of the parties involved discuss what they would do should an accidental pregnancy occur. If you are not open enough or willing to discuss this one issue with your partner then you shouldn't be having sex in the first place regardless of age. I am not to sure how I would deal with the kids having sex in my house but I will cross those bridges when and if the time comes.