loosing virginity w/o a b/f?? - Sexual Health - Teens Message Board

noelle1126 · 05-22-2003, 10:13 PM

I have a probably fairly common problem. I'm in my late teens, and my good friend and i are hooking up and have been for a year now. Assuming that theres nothing to worry about the friendship aspect, what would you think about actually having sex? I mean we've talked about it very seriously and frankly many times. And if we were to go thru with it we would use protection and be responsible. Besides all that about "only if ur ready", excuse me, crap, would you think it would make a big difference seeing as he is not my boyfriend? Also assuming that neither of us is using the other, but bc we genuinely care about our friendship and really just like to be able to have someone to be that "comfortable" with. I know this is kinda wordy, but i'd really appreciate responses from ppl who have maybe been in this situation and older more mature ppl.

Thanx a bunch!

ilaugh@myself.why · 05-22-2003, 10:33 PM

i don't think the problem lies in him not being your boyfriend, but rather him being your friend..
i'm not saying it's a bad idea, and i'm not saying not to go thru with it..
..but, don't you think it might make things "different"?
it might make you closer.. or it might work out as a one-sided attraction.. one of you might start getting jealous of the others encounters with men and women..
..but i'm just bringing up some worst case scenarios.. as long as you two are responsible and you know both of you can handle a situation that involved sex within your friendship, then there's nothing wrong with losing your virginity to him, even if he's not your boyfriend..
that's my opinion.. just make sure you can handle the situation and be responsible..
g'luck
<: ryan

Apollo · 05-23-2003, 12:15 AM

No matter how much you say you'll be friends after all this, you won't. It happened to me and my ex, who I lost my virginity to. We don't talk anymore, and it's jsut weird, mainly from the fact that it only took 3 weeks to find someone else, after a very serious relationship. Bottom line, you either go all the way (marriage) or eventually you guys won't tlak to each other, not like you guys do now. It also depends on how serious the sex and relationship is. Good luck, and their is no straight answer.

------------------
Personal Information:
Sex: Male
Age: Under the age of 18
Sexually active

jeffery · 05-23-2003, 02:24 AM

I don't think that your relationship will stay the same as before... Really think this over. If I were in that position. I would totally think that our relationship got more intimate. And if you started seeing other guys, sleeping with them and so on... Then I would feel used. Not a good feeling. So if he is a good friend and would like to keep it that way, I'd say don't do it.

Snazzy101 · 05-23-2003, 06:13 AM

I´d say wait for someone you´re absolutely crazy about and hot for. If you just do it with your friend, it will probably be ok, or pleasant, but is that really what you want? A ho hum experience?

It sounds from what you´ve written that it´s more a matter of not wanting to be a virgin amymore, than it is a matter of really wanting to have sex with your friend. And that cheats both of you.