Well, you're not allowed to give "how to's" on this board, so I can't go into exact descriptions.
Umm...well, basically, once you get past the outer and inner lips, you have two holes you should be able to see. One is closer to the clitoris, and would be the one where she urinates from. That one is very small. The hole a little bit below it is her vagina and should be fairly obvious, since, if you are able to see inside, it has little ridges and stuff.
As far as being able to fit a finger in...hmmm...well, it depends on how used it is, not just by fingers or sex but by things like tampons. And a hymen shouldn't make it any easier or harder to find it, unless it covers it almost completely.
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