Something i've been thinking about for years... please help - Sexual Health - Teens Message Board

lostguy18 · 07-13-2003, 03:13 PM

Thank god i found this forum so I can share what i've been thinking about for years.

I am 18 and I am sexually attracted by men, however it's only abd purely physical. I never desire to be in a loving relationship with a man but with a cute, pretty and funnny woman. I have had sexual experiences with men (masturbation and blowjobs only) and i've enjoyed them. Actually, with a man, i fantasize of being submissive to them, taking orders from them, and i gain pleasure from giving them pleasure... you may think of it as a sort of masochism or something like that. I don't think it is, i'm just what you call 'bottom' in the sexual relationship.

I feel love towards girls. They make my heart beat and i love being in a mutual relation with thwem. I'm a sensible guy and care for feelings in a relation (with a girl obivously!)

I have never tried to have sex with a girl. I went once ( a couple of weeks ago) with some friends to a place where you could pay the girl for sex. As the price increases, she would give you more. It starts by a massage, then mastrubating you, then blowjobs etc... I only had money for massage and masturbation. She gave me the massage in which she reached for my penis (which was not erect). Then started masturbating me after showing me her breasts and letting me touch them. She had put lubricant over my whole body and penis, trying to get me hard, but I couldnt. I was anxious, stressed, and VERY embarassed. She satarted telling me that she needs my help because she cant do it if i'm not hard etc... I finally gave her the excuse that I had just masturbated thats why I couldnt get hard. It was a lie.

Since then i have a big obsession with sex with girls and especially getting an erection. Has this confirmed my fear of being gay? Or was it just caused by anxiety? I know I'm not importent because i masturbate and get hard when having sex with men. Maybe because she was the type of person she is, or i was under pressure... I don't know and its haunting me.

What should i do? Am i gay? what went wrong that day? Please help.

I'm sorry for the long post, but i just wanted to share what i've felt for years now, and I hope u will help

[This message has been edited by bfl (edited 07-13-2003).]

ember · 07-13-2003, 03:49 PM

You're bi-sexual,I think. Paying a girl to have sex with you is never the way to go,because you said you've never tried to have sex with a girl,so of course you were nervous, and I think that's probably why you couldn't get an erection then. Are you even attracted to women sexually? Or is it just men?

[This message has been edited by ember (edited 07-13-2003).]

mfree1 · 07-13-2003, 05:55 PM

lostguy18--

There is no one test to see if you are gay or not. It just takes time and experience to figure it out.

Some studies have said that about 1/3 of straight guys have had some sort of homosexual experience. And many gay men have had heterosexual experiences. In other words, experimenting while you're a teenager doesn't make you gay or straight.

Although it's not easy, it will just take time for you to figure out where you feel the most comfortable. Over the next few years, you can start to determine if you like only guys, only women, or both. It's difficult for many reasons, but you're doing the right thing by talking about it and asking questions.

Take care,

Mats.

luvstimaud · 07-13-2003, 07:57 PM

paying a girl dosn't count you need to wait till you are with a girl you really care about and feel comforable with. but thother two are right with time you figure out which you prefer better.

UF baby · 07-13-2003, 09:32 PM

Hey lostguy..

I really wouldn't let that whole "can't get an erection" thing bother you. Every guy has had that problem before, gay or straight. If you convince yourself you won't get an erection around girls but only around guys, then that's the way it will probably be. The mind is a very powerful thing..

I think that if it's just a sexual thing, but you could never imagine being with a man emotionally, you probably aren't gay. But really think about this.. Is the only reason being married to a man doesn't appeal to you because of society and the way some people think of homosexuality? Maybe you would like to be with a man but have always thought of being married to a woman.

Nobody here can tell you what you are..but whatever that may be there's nothing wrong with it. Just have fun with your sexuality