Approach boyfriend about sexual past? - Sexual Health - Teens Message Board

UF baby · 05-24-2003, 07:52 PM

Well my bf and I have been together for almost 5 months and I love him very much. When we first got to know each other he told me he had been with 1 other girl before me (fooled around, no intercourse). The story was kind of weird and I wouldn't have believed it but it was just so detailed. Well, I told him that I didn't want to mess around with him because he had been with someone before me and that made me feel weird. Well about 3 months later we became very close and we started getting more sexual. He told me he had lied about being with that girl because he didn't really know me and he didn't want to sound like a loser or inexperienced..which makes sense..but I can't help but thinking he told me he lied so I would do stuff with him. I love him so much and I know he loves me and I feel terrible for even doubting him but it's been bothering me for a while now. I know if I ask him about it he'll get upset. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you so much!

senoflys · 05-24-2003, 08:35 PM

No matter what, at some point you are going to have to face the fact that in almost any relationship one or both partners has had previous sexual experiences (not necessarily intercourse). If you can't get over that then you will have a very hard time finding a boyfriend later in life. About your bf lying, that could very well be true that he made it up, or he could be saying that just to do stuff with you. Either way consider what you want to do and what I first said. If you want to do something with him then do it, don't let his past be the reason for not doing anythign with him. INevitably that will lead to you two breaking up, and you would then be in the same situation with another guy later on down the road.

senoflys · 05-24-2003, 08:35 PM

No matter what, at some point you are going to have to face the fact that in almost any relationship one or both partners has had previous sexual experiences (not necessarily intercourse). If you can't get over that then you will have a very hard time finding a boyfriend later in life. About your bf lying, that could very well be true that he made it up, or he could be saying that just to do stuff with you. Either way consider what you want to do and what I first said. If you want to do something with him then do it, don't let his past be the reason for not doing anythign with him. INevitably that will lead to you two breaking up, and you would then be in the same situation with another guy later on down the road.

UF baby · 05-24-2003, 08:42 PM

senoflys, thanks for your response. I really wouldn't care that he had sexual experience..it's just the fact that he would lie to me about it to get somewhere..that's what hurts.

Dramaqueen · 05-24-2003, 09:20 PM

Ask him again, and make sure he tells you the truth, he doesn't want to hurt you, but may end up doing just that. Most people would have had partners before that though.