Can't stop masterbating or thinking sexual thoughts!!
I don't know.... I think it's very unhealthy for me & I am just addicted to masterbating or thinking of sexual... thoughts.... I just have a very perverted mind & it makes me feel guilty & sickens me. I am 16 and this has been going on since I was 11 but it gets worse as I get older... I think 90% of the day I think about sex. I go on porn sites when I am bored and masturbate.Sometimes I'll even masturbate 5 times a day!I've tried stopping it but it seems the urges comes on even stronger and I'll cave in within 5 days of not doing it!! I know most of you will say it's no big deal but I think it is. I feel more energized and more alert the days I seem not to do it which is very RARE!I like looking at anything sexual that turns me on!! Even the nastiest things ,Rape.... I get turned on by it!!What's worse... I am craving to do something outside of this nature, I am actually craving for real sex now, the masturbating isn't enough for me.I have fantasies of doing something freakish! I would actually give it up to anyone that came onto me if I had the chance and I'm still a virgin! I know I am a teenager & I am going to have sexual urges but I think mines is abnormal!I wake up horny... I go to bed horny. I get horny at school,church,working whatever.... Even when I play sports or videogames, it just pops in my mind.I know this isn't good or healthy for me.I just want to calm myself down... I know I am going to be horny... but not all the time & it annoys me. Thanx for listening!
There is such a thing as sexual addiction. I used to masterbate several times a day and think about sex all the time. Then I started acting out my fantasies and having affairs. Alot of these ideas stemed from me being molested as a child. My sexual desires almost ruined my life and my marriage. Only you know how bad it is or isn't. If it is really bad which it sounds like it is because you can't stop and you are thinking about acting out on some of your fantisies. There is help. You can see a sex therapist or a normal therapist and get group counceling or join a local sex addicts anonomous meeting. It is a 12 step program like NA or AA. It has made a remarkable difference in my life. I am no longer the old person I once was and you can find freedom to if you want it.
Karla has some good advice, only you know how bad it is, and how much you may obsessed with acting out your fantasies.
That said, some obsession with sex is normal, but most people don't act out their most extreme fantasies.
If your obsessions are strong, and your fantasies lean to doing things harmful to others or you (rape, etc), you should seek help. In a sense, you've already started to by talking about your problem here. The next step might be to do it with a professional. Start with your family doctor, if necessary. They even have drugs these days that will lower the sex drive, although that probably requires serious counseling first.
For many people, masturbation can at least temporarily relieve the sex drive. It would be better to masturbate than rape someone! I don't know, but it may be that masturbation in your case is part of the obsession. Nevertheless, if you have an irresistable urge to do something extreme and illegal, masturbate instead.
Not to scare you, but if you are afraid you'll do something, realize that it's better to get serious treatment now than in a jail cell where you'll be stuck for 20 years!
You've posted your concerns, and are getting responses. Please respond with further comments, so we can understand better.
Ok... In my area... there doesn't seem to be anywhere I can go on my own for help... Even if I were to take the bus... There's not a bus stop anywhere I can take to go places my own. I was kind of hoping to handle this myself. My parents are old fashioned anyway... they'll probably just ignore it,giggle & tell me it's apart of growing up.Anyway... they never really seem like what I have to say is really important anyhow! I told my parents before & they said your hormones are out of wack and that's normal at your age.... they cut me off & move on to another topic.
[This message has been edited by Alex!! (edited 07-09-2003).]
You didn't directly respond to how seriously you feel compelled to do something harmful or illegal. I'd say that obsession with masturbation is not unusual, but you expressed concerns well beyond that. Feel free to go into more detail, if you want. Sometimes just talking about it can help. And it is completely anonymous here.
But you do seem serious about getting help. Sounds like you might live on farm, or at least away from a city. Let me just offer some suggestions.
-Talk to just one of your parents, separate from the other. You probably know which one might be best. Tell them this is really serious. Go into some detail. Mention that you don't want them to feel responsible for not helping you if you do something really bad, and that you are afraid you will. Make it stick. 'Scare' them into helping you with your seriousness! A little yelling or even crying might help. Also, understand that they may not be sure what to do. You may have to suggest to them how to help you get counseling. The first step is to make them understand it's serious.
-Insist on seeing your family doctor, and 'open up' to him. Tell him the same things as above. If you aren't satisfied, insist that he help you find counseling.
-Look in the phone book for counseling or 'emergency counseling' services. Even call a suicide hotline, or 911 (some areas have 311 for non-emergencies). Someone will talk to you, and hopefully refer you to the right place.
-You can even call the police or sherriff for a referral. If you tell your parents you called the police, that might show them just how serious you are.
-Search the web for help related to your problem, even psychiatrists of psycholigists not in your area. You can always call them and see if they can give you a referral.
-Look to your school or a local college for help in the phonebook. Just be persistent and ask each person to refer you to a place where you can get help.
-You can go into more detail about your concerns here on the post. Maybe someone who reads this can help.
Also, stay in control! Perhaps your search for help will divert your attention somewhat from your obsessions.
If you are still in school, you could always consider talking with a guidance counselor. That's what they are there for. They may be able to help you through and in deciding what to do. Just a thought .....
Alex, I think a wanked my way through my teens at an average rate of 5 times a day. Most of the guys that I know did the same.
Stop worrying about it and enjoy yourself. This will pass. If someone has told you that this is wrong behavior or that you may lack morals because of this behavior you need to go to the library and read up on the topic of sexual development.
When in adolescence many people feel that they are unique in their behaviors and appearance. They begin to wear the question "Am I Normal" as some kind of badge. This obsession with trying to "fit in" to society by wanting to be "Normal" or like everyone else is supposed to be will pass as you mature. This really is just a stage stop worrying.
If you think you are ready to become sexually active I urge to speak with someone older that you trust. This could be a parent, teacher, couselor or better yet a physician. If you have a pediatrician I urger to to speak openly with them instructing them that you wish any and all information regarding the subject to be kept confidential.
Enjoy your youth, my friend it will vanish before you know it"
"It's so hard to get old without a cause
I don't want to perish like a fading horse
Youth's like diamonds in the sun
and diamonds are forever"
Hopefully Alex's feelings are 'normal obsessions' for a teenager, and they may very well be.
But Alex did say
"Even the nastiest things ,Rape.... I get turned on by it!! What's worse... I am craving to do something outside of this nature, ....... masturbating isn't enough for me.I have fantasies of doing something freakish! "
Maybe counseling will show him he's normal, much to his relief. Talking with a knowledgeable adult, preferably his family doctor or counselor, may be enough to reassure him. If it's more serious than that, it calls for the same action anyway.
Either way, he should definitely discuss his rape fantasies (if any), as well as his 'freakish' fantasies, and get the counseling he's seeking.
He seems past the point where people just telling him he's 'normal' will comfort him. He should take action, not just forget it.
What if he lives next door to a teenage girl? If her parents read his post, wouldn't they seriously want Alex to get counseling?
As for the rape part... I would never think about forcing myself on anybody but watching pornos or movies involving the nature of rape turns me on which is sickening & it disturbs me. I think I am going to set myself a goal list. I'm going to try to keep myself more occupied & worry less about sexual thoughts.. I've heard this crazy thought that drinking lots of water & taking a multivitamin everyday will help lessen & controls my hormones.... I am taking a multivitamin & drinking lots of water right now... Since I started today I am not sure but It does make me feel better. Also I read something on the net through *********** that.... eating & drinking alot of dairy products can increase the urge also. Please pray for me & thanks for everyone taking the time out to listen.... I will keep updated on how I am doing. Wow... this is a pretty cool site! There's topics here to help you with almost every single problem it seems. I will be posting on other boards too!! Nice to meet everyone & thank you!
You seem to be feeling better and perhaps less weird about yourself, and I'm glad to hear that you don't feel close to raping anyone. It may be hard to quit all porn and sexual thoughts over night, but I'd say you should especially avoid porn that involves rape and other more extreme and unacceptable behavior -- and cut down in general, as you seem to want to do.
Keep in mind that many people see masturbation as natural, not immoral, and it can be a 'safety release valve'. You can't hurt anyone, cause pregnancy, get AIDS, or get overinvolved with someone by masturbating.
You seem to be thoughtful and intelligent, so I'm sure you are aware of these things, but let me make some comments anyway:
-There's more to life and relationships than sex. If you aren't ready for a relationship, you don't seem like someone who would feel good about a strictly sexual encounter. Develop your moral outlook and philosophy in advance, and don't abandon it in the 'heat of the moment'.
-Yes, do concentrate and enjoy other aspects of life. I hadn't heard about dairy products, but you may want to try regular physical exercise. It can help you feel good about yourself and shift your focus to other things. Being physically 'tired' from exercise can reduce stress. Perhaps you can find some people to share a hobby with, or get involved with some hobby or project you've always thought about but have never done.
It looks like these boards may be quite helpful to you as well. By all means, if you have any problems or concerns, post them. And of course, you may also help others with their problems, or just have fun exchanging ideas.
Hey bud, I've been watching the posts and haven't responded because I wanted to see what others were saying. Sounds like some of this is normal and we're just so curious at your age. Its good that it bothers you and you want to do something about it. The way we change behaviors is by setting goals and changing things around. I'd say you're on the right track, find new hobbies...maybe start a workout and health routine...walking, biking, weights etc. This would be especially helpful when you have the urge to watch or get into some of this stuff. Good luck!
Well... I went through yesterday without masturbating.... I feel better... I've been drinking lots of water... and practiced excercising.I don't feel the need to crack yet! I just hope it stays this way.. Thanks again.
Congratulations! I'm glad you you feel better. Keep up the good work!
But don't come down too hard on yourself if you 'slip up' and masturbate once in a while -- you wouldn't be the only one. It doesn't mean that you are failing miserably. But if you want to quit that too, not just the porn and stuff, good luck!
Alex, STOP looking at porn. That is the least you can do. Once you stop looking at it, it won't be able to turn you on and make you want to masturbaute. As long as you look at it, its going to make you horny. And if you cant stop right away, just start gradually decreasing how much you look at a day. Now, of course there will still be things on TV that affect you, but as soon as you see anything, like a girl ina bikini, or people making out, just flip the channel.
That should cut out at least SOME of the urge, but see you are stronger than this. And as cheesy as this may sound, I'm guessing you belive in God, because you were talking about church... so PRAY about it!
I hope this helps a little, and im anxious to know how this works.. THANKS! good luck!