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Are You Still A Virgin If...


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Old 05-28-2012, 03:17 AM   #1
Angeliaire
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Are You Still A Virgin If...

You've had oral, and he fingered you and made you bleed, but did not go "all the way" with you? Does it count only as foreplay? What if you were pressured in letting it happen but weren't really consenting to it? How do you define what a virgin is?

 
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Old 05-30-2012, 09:55 PM   #2
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Re: Are You Still A Virgin If...

First off if you were pressured and you didn't consent and he didn't stop that's called Rape! If a boy is doing that to you, you need to stay away from that boy because he is dangerous and clearly doesn't have your well being in mind.

As for losing your virginity, you are still a virgin until you have sexual intercourse, which is the act of a male inserting his penis into a women's vagina. That is the technical definition of losing one's virginity. You are still a virgin.

Seriously though, you need to stay away from this boy, and it would be best to let an adult know that someone forced a sexual act on you.

Take care and be safe.

Kat

 
Old 05-31-2012, 02:17 PM   #3
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Re: Are You Still A Virgin If...

No, I don't think he ever really cared, you're right. It's been a few months since we broke up... and well, I guess I just feel violated about him abusing me emotionally, sexually, etc. But I'm slowly trying to get over it. It's hard since he was my first boyfriend, and maybe I got too serious about the relationship.

I already talked to my mom about it. At first she's like "you shouldn't have let him, it's half your fault too." But I don't know about that. Maybe she didn't think he was pressuring me THAT much. I think it was still wrong of him to do that, and yes, maybe it was a form of rape since I didn't really want to most times stuff like that happened, but anyways.


Thanks for your reply, I really appreciate it.

Last edited by Angeliaire; 05-31-2012 at 02:19 PM. Reason: Details

 
Old 05-31-2012, 05:03 PM   #4
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Re: Are You Still A Virgin If...

It's not your fault and your mom was totally wrong to say that to you. You didn't know because you wanted to believe he was a good guy. Even girls older than you make that same mistake over and over again because they want to believe the guy isn't a total jerk. But the good thing is that you've learned from this experience about what's ok and what's not ok. And in the future you know it's ok to wait and take things slow until you feel like you can trust someone. Don't beat yourself up about it. Just try to be more aware next time and look out for signs of controlling and abusive behavior toward you by the next guy. If he acts like that, cut him loose and move on. You've got plenty of time to find someone nice who won't hurt you like that.

 
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Old 05-31-2012, 07:27 PM   #5
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Re: Are You Still A Virgin If...

I hate to tell a teenager that there mom was wrong...but hon, your mom was wrong on this one. You didn't do anything here...this boy was older than you, he shouldn't have pressured or forced you to do anything you didn't want to do. He took advantage of your age and your inexperience.

You sound like a smart young woman....we all make mistakes, as long as you learn from your mistakes, you'll be fine.

Kat

 
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