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PLEASE help, sex anxiety??


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Old 07-30-2012, 05:26 PM   #1
amberx0
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Pleaseee help ?

so im 17 years old, and i swear i have so many things wrong with me. i drink quite a bit & one time i got so drunk that i remeber walking to my friends house and i remeber knocking and they didnt answer so i walked home, but my problem is i dont rember walking home.
so i was scared i had sex and i went and got tested for hiv and everything
the test came back negative but after it did i started having symptoms. i started freaking out and after that i think i developed anxiety. my body shakes sometimes uncontrollably and every time i wake up after drinking my first thtought is what if i had sex, its not even that i black out every time, i thougth this 2 times after and i was wearing a buckle belt and the buckle was un done so i automatically thoguht omg we did someting, although i remeber going to bed.. do you think im just freaking out ? im pretty sure i would remeber if i did ? but im always just second guessing my self lately.
also, my hands or feet will randomly get tingly at times, i feel like im a walking health problem right now, can anyone give me any advice or anytthing?

 
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Old 07-30-2012, 06:53 PM   #2
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Re: Pleaseee help ?

Greetings Amberx0! Welcome to the healthboards! I hope the desired comfort for this situation and help is obtained. I am aware of age but I would go to the to the nearest addiction center as soon as possible and get help to get off alcohol. I know it is scary but having blackouts is a symptom of serious addiction to this dangerous substance that has the ability to destroy a persons liver and do serious brain damage. Alcohol can also cause esophageal varisces with bleeding to death if it is continued.

The fact that shakes are present is also a sign of serious addiction in my opinion. Getting off it though may require help to prevent seizures and hallucinations. The alcohol may be damaging the nervous system causing tingling. When a person has blackouts they have lost a million or so brain cells and alcohol removes judgement.

Once off the alcohol I would must never touch a drop of it again, I would not even look at it, never go in a bar, never buy any ever again. When invited by a friend to drink I would merely say no, thank-you looking at them straight in the eye and let it drop. Going to Alcoholics Anonymous helps some people stay off also by helping hold a person accountable. I would try to find a non-smoking meeting if at all possible. Peace sjb

Last edited by sjb; 07-31-2012 at 10:28 AM. Reason: addition, wording change

 
Old 07-30-2012, 07:18 PM   #3
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Re: Pleaseee help ?

thanks but didnt really helpp.

 
Old 07-31-2012, 06:04 AM   #4
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Re: Pleaseee help ?

Greetings! It is true I am sorry I can't help much. I hope someone else can. Peace, sjb

 
Old 08-01-2012, 10:49 PM   #5
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PLEASE help, sex anxiety??

If i drink and cuddle with a boy and remeber going to bed ill automatically start thinking what if we had sex, what if we didnt use a condom, and ill think i have to get checked all voer again. is this just anxiety that im having or a reality that something could of happened, and you would think that you would feel sore in the morning but the only thing is ive had sex without feeling sore before.

and please dont give a lecture on drinking alchohol, i already know.

Last edited by Mod-S4; 08-02-2012 at 07:27 AM. Reason: Threads merged, duplicate text deleted.

 
Old 08-02-2012, 03:08 AM   #6
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Re: PLEASE help, sex anxiety??

Yep, you can solve it by not drinking. No lecture needed :P

 
Old 08-04-2012, 05:22 AM   #7
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Re: PLEASE help, sex anxiety??

Hey, this isn't to have a go at you or anything. I'm 17 as well, so know exactly what you're going on about with the alcohol. However, I do think that you are a bit foolish continuing to drink so much after you know that your body is unable to handle it. If you are worried about what you do when you're so drunk that you don't remember it, why do you still get so drunk that you don't remember it? It's in your hands and we can't help you except by pointing out the obvious.
As for the tingling, that will probably be your body trying to deal with the amount of alcohol still in your system, if you drink as much as it seems you do.
Seriously, either get help from professionals or help yourself, but don't complain to us about harm you're consciously doing to yourself :/

 
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Old 08-04-2012, 06:02 AM   #8
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Re: Pleaseee help ?

It's really important for you to stop drinking. I think you are right, that your symptoms are all anxiety-related. Please take care of yourself.... praying for you.

 
Old 08-04-2012, 07:15 AM   #9
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Re: PLEASE help, sex anxiety??

I have to agree with everyone here. And I know you said no lectures on the drinking part but maybe this is what you have to hear. I have come close to alcohol poisoning before. I drank so much one night that my entire body including my tongue was numb. I remember passing out on my couch when my husband and our friends were there. I woke up an hour later I believe, and I couldn't talk because I couldn't move my tongue. Their backs were facing me so I couldn't get their attention. I literally had to let myself roll off the couch so they would hear me fall. When I got their attention and they asked me what happened, I kept smacking myself in the face because I couldn't feel a thing. I remember laying on my friend's leg on the floor and mumbling that I felt like I was falling meanwhile I was already ON the floor. I threw up all over which helped because it was leaving my system but still not fast enough. It took over an hour before I got the feeling back in my body. It was a horrible experience. No, it didn't stop me from drinking BUT I knew not to do overkill. Alcohol poisoning is very dangerous and you CAN die from it. I got lucky. The tingling feeling you have is exactly what that is. So be careful.
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Old 08-20-2012, 11:28 AM   #10
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Re: PLEASE help, sex anxiety??

Quote:
Originally Posted by amberx0 View Post
If i drink and cuddle with a boy and remeber going to bed ill automatically start thinking what if we had sex, what if we didnt use a condom, and ill think i have to get checked all voer again. is this just anxiety that im having or a reality that something could of happened, and you would think that you would feel sore in the morning but the only thing is ive had sex without feeling sore before.

and please dont give a lecture on drinking alchohol, i already know.
Hi amberx0,
I can relate to this and although I'm older (27 y/o) I've recently been in a similar situation. I am so scared and I know that I'm not going to touch alcohol ever again I swear! I have to say... I'm not much of a drinker, but if I do drink I drink. But I never got that drunk I couldn't walk etc. Usually people think I am quite sober when in fact I have a lot to drink. Basically I got drunk 14 days ago in a pub in Central London with my boyfriend and another friend and when we left the pub, I run away coz apparently I got into an argument with my bf. I then remember only fragments (boarding a train, sitting there and then leaving it at my home station, coming home, having a shower, loading washing machine, drying my hair, setting my alarm for work, charging my phone and calling my bf to tell him I'm home). But I don't remember any details. I know I walked home - 15 minute walk and did not take bus but remember nothing else. I know I boarded my train, but don't remember if I did it immediately after I left my friends or if there was something in between. I am pretty sure though that there was about 30 minutes between and I am scared that - I returned to the pub I was sitting in and went to a guy who I met before and asked him to have sex with me. I actually don't know if this is possible but I am scared of this, and don't know why. I mean, logically why would I do it, I've got my bf & have enough sex etc... I am actually not too much of a sex-person, especially not when drunk, I know how to control myself although I can do crazy stuff, shout at people etc. but this? I'm not sure... anyway there was no evidence the next morning, no "sensation" down there, had my belf, my knickers, my jeans, no bruises, no scratches (although I put eveything in a washing machine - and for some reason I also washed my living room curtains ... ). Then after the worst hangover was gone later when I woke up I started getting weird feelings about what if I did have sex with a stranger. I am so scared, and obviously my biggest scare is that if it happened it was without a condom, with a hiv+ person so I am now positive. I already went for STD testing incl HIV but I know I need to wait up to 12 weeks. I don't know what to do to be honest... at times I seem to be coping well but at others I try to get back in memories, try to figure out, try to remember things, trying really hard to see if I can get some memories, some pictures.... I feel like obsessed now, and I actually don't know if anything happenend or if some pictures in my head are the products of my mind as I've been obsessing with this for the past 14 days (happened 14 days ago). Yes, I am scared!!! I doubt I'll ever go and get drunk! I mean I trusted that everything's fine, that I'm there with my bf and my friend, I didn't expect to go home by myself and then keep wondering and getting crazy about "oh god what happened, what did I do". Keep telling myself to calm down, get a deep breath, think clearly and relax. Take this as a lesson learned, but stop worrying that much about this. My logic is saying of course it didn't happen, but my inner, scary me keeps whispering "yes it did happen you just don't want to believe what you did so you try to fight it away". I've posted to the HIV forum already but the folk there thinks I am just over-reacting. I also watch myself about 10 times a day in a mirror and keep checking my body for any symptops, and I take my temperature twice a day, can't sleep well and am generally not feeling too good.
Any thoughts for me please?

Thank you for allowing me let this out!
anxious

 
Old 08-20-2012, 01:02 PM   #11
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Re: PLEASE help, sex anxiety??

Hey im glad to hear im not the only one going throught this :/
its very exhausting, stressful, and causes a lot of anxiety
a million things run through your head
This is what i think
Our problems are possibly having sex with someone while so drunk we cant remeber, the facotrs of it are is it possible to have sex and not remebr, but remember surrounding events
and is it possible if in the rare event this did happen, could we get hiv from it ?
i think that we always think the worse when we dont remeber stuff
like hiv the worst std you can get so we figure automatically that disease, why not any other disease why not gonoreah, chlaymidia we dont obsess about that because those are curable.
when i woke up in the morning what scared me was i felt a "bubble" like an air bubble in my vagina when i woke up which stuck me as odd, i dont think this is sex realted but its the possibility that it could be
so my mind started spirling down from there.
i worte on many message boards and everyone seems to think im freakiing out
i did get some symptoms, but everyones like
its from anxiety, stress,allergies, blah blah
but obviously since after i went through this experience i beg to differ
i got a hiv test what i think was 3 months after the encounter but since it turned out negative i automatically think it was too early
DO NOT and i repeat DO NOT google symtoms and or check your body for them . this will only make you crazier trust me !! i got soo depressed over this at one point. and its still at the back of my mind and will be until i take another test which im terrified to do.
in my personal opinion your fine this is why
1) you felt nothing int he morning, usually someone would be sore or your underwear would be on backwards maybe or some sort of indication,
2) the odds are in your favor, where would this encounter have happened? where no one can see? and if it was in a car or anything i feel like you would have some remembrance of being in a car, because you seem to remeber a lot of the other stuff
and
3) if you did use a condom your at no risk and if you didnt its still not an easy disease to catch.

were like in the exact same mind state, part of you is telling you no, obviously your just freaking out and then a little part of you is saying, well what are the possibilities you did, and its that little part of you that you obsess over.
you should get an hiv test around the 60 day mark JUST to ease your mind, and in the meantime try not to think about it, its very doubtful that it happened, and obsessing over it got me no where except sick in bed.
thanks for sharing your story, i felt like i was the only one stupid enough to be going throu this

 
Old 08-20-2012, 01:28 PM   #12
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Re: PLEASE help, sex anxiety??

Hi,
thanks. Yeah you're right the odds that it didn't happen are in my favour.... I mean really if it was an isolated place than maybe possibly yeah, like somewhere in a park or in a small town,but then I would never go with a stranger to a park no matter how drunk this would be just too stupid. So the only places possible for this would be the pub toilet, and again, with tons of people in the pub, what is the chance of a drunk girl and a guy going there, going out, unnoticed etc... ? And no, nowhere near was a car, it was just opposite a really busy station and the streets were flooded with people. I guess I'm just freaking out coz I have no memory. The question is - is the memory ever coming back? I mean, I am pretty sure nothing sexual happened that night. If it did, I would have at least a flashing picture or something right, but I don't. I was also quite worried about rape (this fear came after about 3 days after), but since I know for sure there were no bruises, no scratches, torn clothes, PLUS I was carrying two purses, an expensive camera, my keys, my bag etc. and was missing nothing. Everything was neat and tidy when I woke up, my bag where it should be, I was sleeping in my pyjamas. Yes I had hangover at the same time I think the trigger was when my bf came home round 12 and told me "you were annoying so we left you there". Which actually didnt happen, we left together but he didn't remember because he was drunk too. The other friend remembered we left together, and only then I left them and run away. Still don't know where but assuming to the train as the pub was closing in the next 15 minutes... I actually called the pub and asked th supervisor to go through the cctv from that night, she was so great and after explaining what I was worried about she checked our table and the toilets cctv and found nothing suspicious, she didn't even thought I was that drunk not to remember. I guess this is only a scare that you have blackout and are left alone. Not being from the UK and having nobody here than my boyfriend and my other friend it feels worse because the places etc. are not familiar. But yeah, the more I think about it the more I believe it's just my anxiety and over-active imagination.

As for you, you had your test which was negative. You don't even know if you had sex. What you described doesn't seem like anything sex related. I think you have the same as me, i.e. you are scared coz you don't remember and you jump to conclusion that you did something you shouldn't have done. We girls really need to be watching the way we drink. It's easy ti get into danger not even realising it. I thought I was ok, can get drunk as much as I can and what happened? I was left on my own. I actually think I was lucky nothing happened to me. I could have as well woken up in a hospital, or being brutally raped or murdered. London is not a safe place to be, especially in the night, and if you don't observe some of it's rules. THIS time nothing happened to neither of us, next time it can. So we need to take good care especially with alcohol. As for me, I have no intention of having a glass any time soon.

 
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