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Sexual Health - Women Message Board
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Old 09-04-2003, 12:22 PM   #1
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stellanole HB User
Unhappy sore & tender after sex...

Hey...

just curious if anyone else experiences this...

for as long as i have been sexually active, very often after sex i am sooooooooo sore. sometimes it feels as though i may have a small tear down there...and it burns and hurts so bad. sometimes i just get real swollen (HUGE sometimes...its WHACKY LOOKING..and quit uncomfortable...feels like you are walking around with a friggin FOOTBALL stuck in between your thighs...), sometimes it feels like i have been rubbed RAW...

sometimes my partner and i have sex and its FINE...but more times than not, i am in pain...then i don't want to have sex the next day...because im so sore. my boyfriend is very patient and understanding about this, but its frustrating..that we can't just go at it whenever! and he feels sooo bad everytime im in pain.

the other day i told him he had a penis sword. we had a good laugh...but its so annoying.

YES ive tried lubrication...but this doesn't seem to be the problem...most often im plenty horny..and being dry isn't my issue. and NO hes not the marathon man either...he goes pretty well...hed probably go longer, if i didn't tell him every once in awhile..to speed it up. it sucks to tell your man to FINISH...that can be such a buzz kill for them..then theyre worrying about hurting you and not getting finished...

anyway ..just wondering if anyone else gets this..and if anyone has a recommendation other then LUBE UP.

oh yeah..and ive been tested...had my annual...everything is fine...so im not worried that it could be an infection or anything...

 
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Old 09-04-2003, 01:22 PM   #2
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hapa HB User
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TOTALLY in the same boat as you...does it hurt more inside or outside? Sounds like outside...which may be vestibulitis...I have a very high sex drive and after having vv for 5 years I'm beyond frustrated. Most women lose interest after trying so hard, one can only handle so pain until your body will do anything in it's power to avoid it. Not me, everyday I pray and hope and wish I could have sex! I think that being completely relaxed is the key. Lube, creams, estrogen, even steriod injections do nothing to get my sex life back the way it used to be. In fact the creams may make you worse and thin out the skin down there. Relax and try massage the area that hurts with your fingertips. I'm extremely fortunate to have an understanding and supportive partner. He even helps me do relaxation exercises by gently touching, and massaging the area while I take deep breaths. It feels better once your vestibule gets used to something touching it. Initially, there will be a sharp pain but hold the finger steady with slight pressure, consentrate on relaxing, and slowly the muscle will relax and the pain is gone. DO NOT penetrate! You have to work the outside first until your ready for penetration; some women are almost ready for it and some aren't. I must say that I'm still working on relieving pain on the outside and haven't even begun penetrating because it will definetly hurt. Your partner has to be really patient. I learned the hard way---that most men aren't patient enough and won't stick around if they're not gettin any! But not all men are like that. Sounds like your partner is supportive, so that's all good....But anyway, ever since I got diagnosed I've had to get extremely creative in the bedroom being that I can't ever have intercourse. Lots of oral and anal, massages, tantra, etc. Sex feels good as long as it's not near my vagina. Well that's all the advice I have---but I'm really not one to give advice since I'm still looking for a cure myself---but at least I've had this for awhile and these are some things I do to cope.

 
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