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Old 08-29-2003, 08:22 AM   #1
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Post My first intercourse: He couldnt insert his penis into my vagina :-(

Im a 22 year old virgin in my first serious relationship. My partner is very loving and experienced. The other night we decided to have sex, I was ready and he would never pressure me into anything I wouldnt want to do.

Our first intercourse was a complete disaster. We had plenty of foreplay, and I was well aroused and lubricated but he could not insert his penis into my vagina. I am small and petite, but I know the vagina can stretch. It was awful, we tried so many postions but his penis did not penetrate into my vagina, it was like pushing into a brick wall. He tried fingering me, but it was a little painful. I tried it too but I could only get half of my finger into my vagina. He told me I was tense but isnt that normal for a virgin? I feel totally lost, as I dont know anyone who has experienced this. Is it normal for a virgin to seize/close up???

Physically and emotionally I am ready for sex. However Im worried now and Im dreading my second attempt


 
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Old 08-29-2003, 08:54 AM   #2
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Im 20 years old and just lost my virginity in February. It hurt hella bad, but he was able to get himself in me. He was very large, and i even hurt for a few days afterwards but he was able to get in...!


Do you have any toys....since he cant get in...why dont you use a toy to loosen up a little? That might be the best thing to do...I dont know! Good Luck...and I hope better luck last time...at least you have someone that is willing to work with you!!!!

 
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Old 08-29-2003, 09:15 AM   #3
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Thank for replying TooCute. Ive started Kegel exercises and have managed to insert my finger inside me. I bought a vibrator yesterday, and KY jelly....erm....wish me luck! I think i just need to relax but I dont know how to. I'll try the vibrator tonight.

 
Old 08-29-2003, 09:55 AM   #4
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The first time my b/f & I had sex I was also tight (but not so that he couldn't get it in) & it did hurt a bit. Maybe you are just too tense b/c you are nervous since it's your first time! Are you worried that it's going to hurt really bad? If that is the case, next time you guys try having intercourse, try to just not think about it as much as possible & be relaxed. I know that you said you were well lubricated, but maybe you could try using KY to help get him in?

Good luck & hope it works out next time .

 
Old 08-29-2003, 02:18 PM   #5
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Yea, the first time is always awkward...at least mine was..hehehe...you will be fine....

 
Old 08-29-2003, 03:50 PM   #6
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As I recall from a sexuality course I took a few years ago, if this problem persists you can get some help from a qualified doctor.

They have a series of polished metal rods that you insert. They start with a very thin rod like the diameter of a pencil, and then work their way up until you can take one the size of the driveshaft from a '55 Chevy. (OK, I exaggerate on that last one).

But you get my drift. A doctor can help you out here if your 'gina continues to be more secure than Fort Knox.

 
Old 08-29-2003, 10:57 PM   #7
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This is a totally normal experience to have the first time you have sex. I remember the first time i had sex and it took us quite a few tries to get his penis into my vagina, and then it hurt so i asked him to stop. Make sure his penis is going into your vagina like a tampon would. You can't just push a penis into the vagina, it needs to be angled towards your back in a curved position. It helps to guide his penis in and push it downwards. This was my problem when i first had sex, it felt like we were pushing into a brick wall because we weren't aiming the penis in the right direction. With a lot of lube and some good aiming, you'll get it to work!

 
Old 08-30-2003, 05:12 AM   #8
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vagina tilts backwards doesnt it? Ive never used tampons before, but i have inserted my finger. my finger felt it was sloping downwards.

thanks again for all the advice, really appreciate it! If anyone has any other tips please feel free to share.

 
Old 09-02-2003, 08:03 AM   #9
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hey! i was also 22 when i first had sex and i remember i thought i was "broken" and i couldn't cause we couldn't get it the first night relax and be reassured you will be fine...

i do however recall an old roomie of mine that actually had such a thick hymen that she couldn't use tampons and had to get it surgically removed. so if you do try you should definitely visit the gyn. (you should anyway if you're going to be sexually active and you're 22) its really really not all that bad and considering how much stuff is connected to just that area for woman, it can be a real relief to speak to someone about it and understand your body.

good luck

 
Old 09-04-2003, 07:35 AM   #10
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I was 20 when I lost mine - I had the same problem. I think it was probably partly him. He said he was not as erect as he used to be during sex. I also was on the pill which can make you dry. Even though he got it in later, he was still not able to get it in all the way - I think because it had a weird curvature to it and hit downward into my wall. Ouchy!

 
Old 09-24-2003, 06:21 PM   #11
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The same thing happened to me! I seriously thought there was something wrong - It hurt so much, I felt like I was being split open. After a while though (and a few attempts) he got it in - it actually stops hurting after its inside. The first few times we had sex afterwards, it still hurt like that - actually, it still hurts a bit. I find that it's less painful and easier if I'm on top, because I can guide him in the right way.

 
Old 09-24-2003, 08:19 PM   #12
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same thing happened to me when i was 17. next time it'll be easier. have fun!

 
Old 09-25-2003, 12:06 PM   #13
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You guys make me feel bad, I lost my virginity in my first long term relationship (15yo). It was the most horrible thing, it wouldn't work, so we stopped and for several weeks we just had to fool around and eventually it worked. We were together 3 years, had sex pretty often; and even after all that my next "first" was still almost unbearble.

I am now with someone who i plan to spend the rest of my life with, and he was a virgin, to say the least it wouldn't work. When I lost my virginity i never bled or anything.This time i bled, and walked funny for days.
It was several months before i could even be on top. My body had to adjust to the change in size and everything... but it's great n****
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