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Old 01-20-2004, 02:04 AM   #1
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Talking So many posts discuss womens lower libido - here are some tips for all those couples

OK folks - this is a difficult but very common situation where girl has lower sex drive than guy and my wife and I have certainly been through it. Hope these tips help and maybe others will add tips too.

- The woman can use her hands on the guy if she doesnt want full sex.
- this can keep the guy going between sessions

- Try oral sex - most women love it and it can raise the sex drive as can a vibrator if both parties are happy to try one.

- Guys should ask, can we have sex in the next few days? - that way the woman has time to find a good moment for her - shes not under the pressure of ' can we have it now'?

- When sex is going on, make the woman wait a while when she is highly aroused, so she spends several minutes wanting satisfaction.

- then there's the usual, flowers, compliments,

- if all that fails .......... BRIBE HER WITH CHOCOLATE !!

 
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Old 01-20-2004, 09:20 AM   #2
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Re: So many posts discuss womens lower libido - here are some tips for all those couples

GOOD TIPS PAUL!

But coming from a womans point of view.

Nothing is more annoying to us women with lower sex drives than to be asked to have sex or asked when we can have sex. That is sooo annoying.

dont ask guys... just gently kiss your wife or start with a back massage, get her in the mood. I have never turned down sex when physically provoked.

=)

hope this helps!

 
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Old 01-20-2004, 10:12 PM   #3
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Re: So many posts discuss womens lower libido - here are some tips for all those couples

i agree....sex shoudn't be scheduled in advance like a business meeting! Geez....that should be the most spontaneous thing!

 
Old 01-21-2004, 07:03 AM   #4
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Re: So many posts discuss womens lower libido - here are some tips for all those couples

Quote:
Originally Posted by 1965_Bruce
i agree....sex shoudn't be scheduled in advance like a business meeting! Geez....that should be the most spontaneous thing!
I do agree that it should be spontaneous but for those us married to partners with a lower sex drive than ourselves it does make sense to work out something that both can be comfortable with. Not really a schedule but a compromise on how many times a week. That is what my DH and I have done since my drive is by far higher than his.
Also for those that are ttc scheduling sex tends to help increase ones chances of pregnancy.
Also if you have kids or opposite work schedules then schedulling sex does tend to happen because sometimes that is the only time to fit it in. I know to alot it doesnt sound romantic but guess what one can make it romantic if one works are it.
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Old 01-24-2004, 04:28 AM   #5
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Re: So many posts discuss womens lower libido - here are some tips for all those couples

Anyone got any more tips - this seems to affect so many people ?

 
Old 01-24-2004, 08:29 AM   #6
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Re: So many posts discuss womens lower libido - here are some tips for all those couples

The best tip I can give is...

*Be Understanding*

Sex drives are never going to be equal. 2 people are not the same person so their sex drives are going to differ. Life will go on without sex. pleasure yourself in times where your spouse is not in the mood and..

NEVER FIGHT ABOUT SEX!!!

the #1 reason for divorce even above money is sex.

 
Old 01-24-2004, 07:45 PM   #7
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Re: So many posts discuss womens lower libido - here are some tips for all those coup

I don't know if this works for everyone, but it has worked incredibly well for me. I am on a couple of meds that can take away sex drive. I am a tea drinker and drink ginseng tea from time to time. For me, it increases sex drive and I have very powerful orgasms. I just have to limit the amount in ginseng I drink because I don't live with my boyfriend and we only have sex once a week or so.
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Old 01-24-2004, 09:11 PM   #8
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Re: So many posts discuss womens lower libido - here are some tips for all those couples

It seems that most see the answer is to Increase the sex drive of the party with a lower sex drive. I also have a higher sex drive then my spouse, but work on decreasing my sex drive by not focusing on sexual thoughts, plans, ect.. This has worked well and helped our relationship.

 
Old 01-24-2004, 11:27 PM   #9
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Re: So many posts discuss womens lower libido - here are some tips for all those couples

[QUOTE=Ashton'sMommy]The best tip I can give is...

*Be Understanding*

Sex drives are never going to be equal. 2 people are not the same person so their sex drives are going to differ. Life will go on without sex. pleasure yourself in times where your spouse is not in the mood and..

NEVER FIGHT ABOUT SEX!!!

the #1 reason for divorce even above money is sex.


It is so true!! My b/f and I argue about sex all the time, because he wants it and I don't. I do have a lower sex drive than him and yell at him sometimes when he wants to fool around. It's not his fault, I realize, but when it's 2:00 a.m. and I am dead-tired, the last thing I want is sex! I feel like I have to argue my point, and he gets his feelings hurt. He thinks I am not sexually attracted to him, when it just boils down to "not being in the mood".

It's sad, because when we didn't live together, we were at it all the time, and now it's down to once, maybe twice a week. I don't even pleasure myself anymore. I am too tired for anything, or stressed out about life, paying the bills, working, etc...

Last edited by BigMomma24; 01-24-2004 at 11:30 PM.

 
Old 01-25-2004, 05:43 PM   #10
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Re: So many posts discuss womens lower libido - here are some tips for all those coup

Quote:
Originally Posted by BigMomma24
My b/f and I argue about sex all the time, because he wants it and I don't. I do have a lower sex drive than him and yell at him sometimes when he wants to fool around. It's not his fault, I realize, but when it's 2:00 a.m. and I am dead-tired, the last thing I want is sex! I feel like I have to argue my point, and he gets his feelings hurt. He thinks I am not sexually attracted to him, when it just boils down to "not being in the mood".
I have the same problem. My boyfriend has a habit of wanting sex either first thing in the morning or right at bedtime- basically the two times I'm *least* in the mood because I'm either groggy from just waking up or tired because I'm about to go to bed. And aside from his feeling rejected, I feel bad because I worry that he'll loose interest in me, even though our relationship is more than that. But it brings both of us down. We are very open with each other and talk about it, but it's still hard to deal with and I feel guilty if I'm not in the mood for a few days in a row.

 
Old 02-01-2004, 03:42 AM   #11
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Re: So many posts discuss womens lower libido - here are some tips for all those couples

We're going to try the ginseng tea !

 
Old 02-01-2004, 08:37 AM   #12
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Re: So many posts discuss womens lower libido - here are some tips for all those coup

Quote:
Originally Posted by novembre
I have the same problem. My boyfriend has a habit of wanting sex either first thing in the morning or right at bedtime- basically the two times I'm *least* in the mood because I'm either groggy from just waking up or tired because I'm about to go to bed. And aside from his feeling rejected, I feel bad because I worry that he'll loose interest in me, even though our relationship is more than that. But it brings both of us down. We are very open with each other and talk about it, but it's still hard to deal with and I feel guilty if I'm not in the mood for a few days in a row.
Geez its the same with us. We have been together for 7 years (I'm 22, he's 24) and before we moved in together we were always going at it. But we actually haven't had sex for like 5 months now! But we still cuddle and kiss and sleep together and everything. Everything is normal, we are just always so tired!!! And of course he could do it anytime, but I'm never in the mood! Does this ever get better???

 
Old 02-01-2004, 12:04 PM   #13
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Re: So many posts discuss womens lower libido - here are some tips for all those couples

As a woman I liked the suggestion he made about asking if her if they can have sex sometime in the next few days. My husband will do something kindof like that but he will ask if we can have sex sometime that night. I find that to be very considerate of him to put the ball in my court so I have a choice as to when we have sex. There is always the spontanious times for us too but with him showing consideration for me like that it makes me more open to the spontanious moments also.

 
Old 02-01-2004, 02:00 PM   #14
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Re: So many posts discuss womens lower libido - here are some tips for all those couples

i'm in the same boat, i've been with my g/f for over 2 years. i try to be romantic with my g/f and i do not ask her at 2 in the morning. but it just isn't happening, and can't help but feel rejected. and its gotten to the point where i'm always ****** off at her and frustrated. but i know its not her fault. And before this it was just so great. i feel like she could be my life partner but if this continues i don't know if i can handle it.

 
Old 02-01-2004, 02:43 PM   #15
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Re: So many posts discuss womens lower libido - here are some tips for all those couples

What about a sexy phone call in the middle of the day to start to get her in the mood, or even a note on the fridge. just so her mind is on it all day.

 
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