Marriage? - Sexual Health - Women Message Board

antares_wish · 03-14-2004, 04:17 PM

Hi ladies,

I am a man but I would like to get the ladies perspective on this subject if I could. For the last several years I have been redefining my life and what different aspects mean to me. I'm not really sure where marriage falls into place and I would like to get your opinions as to why we have marriage and when / if someone should marry.

When redefining my life I have tended towards a more liberal lifestyle. I grew up in an extremely oppressive environment and I suppose this is just me breaking away from that and allowing myself to enjoy life. I have had a few long term relationships with some wonderful women but they always end up wanting marriage and I don't know that I'm ready for that or not. To me, marriage is just a promise to stay with someone so that you can raise children together. Since I don't feel that I'm stable enough in my own life to raise a child yet I have leaned away from this. What are your perspectives on the subject?

csoar2004 · 03-14-2004, 04:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by antares_wish

Hi ladies,

I am a man but I would like to get the ladies perspective on this subject if I could. For the last several years I have been redefining my life and what different aspects mean to me. I'm not really sure where marriage falls into place and I would like to get your opinions as to why we have marriage and when / if someone should marry.

When redefining my life I have tended towards a more liberal lifestyle. I grew up in an extremely oppressive environment and I suppose this is just me breaking away from that and allowing myself to enjoy life. I have had a few long term relationships with some wonderful women but they always end up wanting marriage and I don't know that I'm ready for that or not. To me, marriage is just a promise to stay with someone so that you can raise children together. Since I don't feel that I'm stable enough in my own life to raise a child yet I have leaned away from this. What are your perspectives on the subject?

The quickest way to a lonely old age and solitary death is: Don't marry. Ever. Granted, marriage is not a guarantee this won't happen, but it sure increases the odds you will be surrounded by people who love you!

nightangel00 · 03-14-2004, 04:34 PM

I view marriage different than most people. For me marriage is a religious thing I take very seriously. I will marry this year to a wonderful man hopefully and if you ask me why I want to get married I will answer you "to make him happy". Its not about my personal satisfaction but his, then viceversa he should look for mine. I tell you what if you are not ready, dont do it!!!! To me marriage is not about just a promise to stay with someone for only having children. Its a lot more than that.

antares_wish · 03-14-2004, 04:58 PM

Thank you for the replies. I suppose I should give a little more information. I am concerned because I am still in the process of change and I'm not sure where I'll land or how she'll feel about me when I do. I'm not sure that I'll even want children when I finally land, in which case it might be better to avoid marriage and leave her free to persue that lucky man when she decides she does want them? Right now I think I would like to have kids when I settle but who knows. I also worry that she will feel used or led on if I don't marry her. I do not date women to have sex with them, I fall in love and the sex just happens but I still don't want them to feel used because of this. I have a condition that makes me actually a little hesitant when it comes to sex so it's usually their idea. Maybe I shouldn't worry about that, the women that I date are equally open minded and they know my situation *shrug*.

GirlHarley · 03-14-2004, 06:48 PM

ummm...well, I have been married, had a child, divorced, dated alot thinking I wanted to get "married" have some more children....but that didn't happend to me....The guys I dated didn't want to marry me, I already had a child, and the ones that did want to marry me I guess I wasn't ready for them???
WHO knows but life has a wierd way of working...I'm 42, engaged....
He has 3 children and again I have one...We are not having anymore...
I love my son more then life it self and I have also found I can love this man as well...My son comes first, my fiance comes well...comes first too...in my
book There is no second... I too had given up the notion that I would never marry again because I didn't want kids...Isn't that why we get married????
SO I THOUGHT...SO I WAS TOLD....

With this man I am with, this man who accepts me for me, who wants to marry me, this man ....we choose to not have children with but with this man we choose to be marry because we have come to agree we are soulmates and want to be together till death due us part...There is not Honor or Obey..

Marriage should be...YES...WE WANT TO BE TOGETHER FOR EVER, through the ups and down, because we are the same we can become ONE.
I want his name because I'm proud of it and proud to be with him.....
I am in no hurry in to get married and neither is he...we are engaged and we plan to get married, we feel we are married..(we own a home together) without the legal paperwork...When you meet "that right person" you just know that is who you wish to live your life with and that becomes a marriage.