I searched for a similar topic on this board but found nothing.
"Diminished" isn't the word here... GONE is the word. I have no sex drive whatsoever, I haven't had one for years, especially since my son was born in 1999. Sex doesn't appeal to me. Not even masturbation appeals to me. It's been months since I've had an orgasm and I don't even care. When my husband and I have sex (which is extremely rare) I only do it to cave to his needs and I can't wait until it's over. Sometimes just him touching me makes me cringe, I can't stand to be touched. And it's not that I'm no longer attracted to my husband; I'm not attracted to ANYONE. Sometimes sex can even repulse me. If I come across a 'love' scene on the television, I change the channel because it's so disgusting.
I don't know what the heck has happened, but my sex drive is completely gone. It really doesn't even bother me much, but the reason I'm concerned is for my husband's sake, not mine. I could go without sex the rest of my life and be perfectly happy.
Are you my wife? Just kidding, I don't think that you are, but she shares some characteristics with you. My wife rarely makes physical contact with me anymore, and when I try to touch her she almost always backs off, saying she's ticklelish or quickly thinks of some chore that all of a sudden needs to be done. She will never discuss sex, ever. And if I make some kind of sexual comment about us, she gets offended and we end up in a big spat. I wouldn't dare to make a generalized sexual statement in her presence. She finds love scenes in a movie or TV revolting. When I make sexual advances toward her she rarely reciprocates so I end up just leaving her alone. I wouldn't say her drive is completey gone, she seems to be in the mood right after her period ends each month, so if things work out, maybe I can hope to be intimate with her once a month. But I sense that is starting to dwindle too.
Masturbation/porn have filled the void up until now, but they are not a complete substitute. I know you'll get some posts here that say go see a doctor or get some counselling, but I know my wife will do neither of those, not for a lack of sexual desire. I see no hope. I have begun looking for web sites where I can meet women interested in extramarital affairs. But I'm a big chicken when it comes down to it. I'm afraid I'll meet some looney or get some disease or have some crazed guy follow his gal to my place--and there goes the secret!!
Maybe you can help me by telling me how you want your husband to treat or respond to you.
It is almost scary how you just described *exactly* they way I've felt for the past 10 years. When I was in my teens/early 20's sex was amazing for me. Though I was never promiscuous, I was an extremely sexual person with a very healthy drive and never once had a problem reaching orgasm. Then, at 21, I contracted Lyme disease from a tick bite and with it's onset my endocrine system/thyroid became thrown off and I was never the same. Though my sex drive does wax and wane a bit with my cycle, I would never even think of sex, let alone crave it, if it weren't for my poor dear BF who lovingly tries new ways to get me in the mood. I believe it has alot to do with the body's hormones, so having a baby could have been your catalyst, though there could be so many other factors influencing your libido, and since everyone's body chemistry is unique, it can be very hard to know what has gone wrong.
Sometimes, I can't stand to be touched, kissed or stroked in any way. it just feels way too ticklish and uncomfortable...my breasts in particular are the most sensitive. It's almost as if my body feels it is no longer 'wired' for sex. I don't get those feelings anymore, and going through the motions to please my BF can be excruciating at times, but I do it because I love him and also because I hope somehow I will begin to enjoy it again. I miss the passion I used to have, not to mention the orgasms! I have never had a child, nor am I on the pill. I've tried supplements and all kinds of natural diets that help my condition, but nothing has ever made me feel like a sexual being again. I am not exactly repulsed by couples making love on TV, but it does nothing for me as it once did. This has made me feel less of a woman, and honestly, I wish no one would experience this loss.
I'm sure there are MANY women out there with similar experience....we are not alone.
Take care.
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In good health,
Scotchie
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Mistakes are the portals of discovery
No, I don't think you are. Have you considered that you may be estrogen dominant? here's a thread on it: [url]http://www.healthboards.com/boards/showthread.php?t=155701[/url]