Ok, I am a virgin, and will be for a good while longer yet, but I've always wondered this...and I'd like to hear it from other women, but I'm too embarrassed to ask in RL. Are women supposed to be able to look at a guy and be aroused? Because while I find the thought of the act of sex arousing and all, never in my life have I seen a guy that made me stop to think, "Wow, I'd like to have some o' that." I can find a guy beautiful like a piece of art, but nothing more than that. And since I've heard that guys are really the visual ones, and girls are more about emotions, I'd chalk up my lack of attraction to gender difference except...
I am visually stimulated by other girls. I can look at a sexy woman's body and definitely feel something sexual. The thing is, it's purely sexual, and there's none of the appreciation or romance I feel when looking at a good-looking guy. I'd never act on a sexual impulse, since I wouldn't see it leading to a relationship. Oh yeah, and I seem to only be attracted to feminine guys...which is fairly weird, I gather.
So what is it like for other women? Is it all about romance? Is there a little bit of both? Are guys supposed to be attractive in that way?
I can only speak for myself, but I think that the attraction (visual) is there, but intensifies once you are active. Atleast thats my opinion, I think it comes once you have experienced it first hand and then in time you come more visually aroused, but emotions and romance do play a huge role as well. I think it may vary per person not just gender. I do commend you for waiting, it is definatley worth waiting for and you will be glad you did!
Kaleb 6/23/04 aftr TTC 4 yrs
miscarrd at 6 wks 5 day 12/31/04
Its a Girl 1/12/06
I agree with you Lysander. I've been sexually active for a few years now but I still don't really look at men and think "Ooh baby". Yes I find them sexy and attractive but they don't actually arouse my just on sight. Now if I knew him and knew there was a chance we would have sex, then I would get excited. But it does not happen with some random hottie walking past me. I think it definately has something to do with romance for me.
As for the woman, I do find them more of a turn on to look at. I'm not gay or even bi but that is how I feel. Not sure why.
Humm I have to differ a bit. When I met dh and we were first talking I could barely keep my hands to myself because I was so aroused by him visually.
Of course I happen to be an odd ball anyway and have always been able to be both visually and mentally aroused. This was even before I was sexually active. Now the interesting thing is I can look at random women and comment on their beauty but does nothing for me. But singers or actresses for some reason can visually stimulate me.
I dont think it should be lumped as a male only thing on being visually stimulated just like I dont think women should be lumped into the emotional area. I have known women that are like me and visually stimulate just like I have known men who were emotionally stimulated. The reason being is we are all different and hence there will be differences when it comes to stuff like that. Granted the averages do show that men are visual and women are emotional but averages dont cover us all.
DS 13 yr
DS 8 yr (3+ yrs ttc)
TTC #3 since 01/02
I'm not turned on by just looking at a naked man, but I do get turned on by watching a man and woman having sex...I get turned on by anyone having sex whether it be men with men or women with women, I'm not gay in the least, it just makes me horny is all.
I'd have to say that I agree with the majority of the posts. There are some men that I look at, and am like "damn" , but most I just look at, and will check out and appreciate. I actually think I was more on the "I want to hop on top of him" thing before I lost my virginity, due to all the pent up sexual frustration.
As far as women goes, there are many women I can look at, and find myself attracted to ie: Angelina Jolie or Charlize Theron. And, yeah, I am not gay, but come on, if the opportunity arose, for one of them, I think I'd have to hop the fence for the night. But, we know that it will never happen, so again, this is why I can safely say that I feel this way!
Lysander, I think pretty much all women feel the same as you. Women just naturally have sexual bodies which I think both genders can be attracted to. I don't think that makes them gay though. As long as you have the romantic feelings towards guys and just the sexual feelings towards women, I think you can know you are straight. Since I have been intimate with a man (my husband) I can tell you that you will feel turned on once the romance is there. Men can turn women on by what they say and do and how they touch them. Women just naturally look hot and are more visually pleasing than men, that's all.
I don't think it's a matter of whether women are "supposed" to be aroused visually any more than men are. Women can be, just like men can be. And it's not like a hot guy walks by and women are supposed to spring a figurative erection, just like not all guys get an erection when they see a woman. Some might, but I think you're expecting too much by asking of women are aroused visually purely by the sight of a hot man. It's more than just the image, it's the context and any thoughts that spring from it. For me there has to be something overtly sexual about the context or his behavior before it's arousing, and then it certainly can be.
Also, when men claim they are more 'visual', they are usually trying to explain why they like porn and believe it or not, women can also be aroused by porn. Men are certainly not the only ones who are 'visual' in that regard. That always makes me laugh, as though it gives them some kind of special right to watch porn because they are 'more visual'.