Hi. I've been on the pill for the past 5 months but my boyfriend wants my body to have a break from it. Previous to the pill, my boyfriend and I used condoms but it would irritate both of us. We tried three different brands and almost every selection they had but one of us or both would get irritated. For a while we used no protection and he would just withdraw from me prior to ejaculating. THis was stressful for both of us but it was better than feeling irritation from condoms. So, I chose to go on the pill, against his wishes, so that we'd both enjoy stress-free sex. As much as my boyfriend loves to ejaculate in me, he prefers that we try finding a condom that works for us. Do any of you share this similar situation of irritation to condoms? Have any of you found a condom that works for those who are sensitive to spermicides? Please share any advice. As fun as oral sex is, we don't want to limit ourselves to it and abstinence is definitely out of the question! Please help. Thank you.
Last edited by Mod-S4; 06-06-2004 at 03:44 PM.
Reason: Please use proper terminology.
If you only have tried condoms with a spermicide, then try one that doesn't have it. The effectiveness of the thin layer of spermicide is practically zilch and if the condom broke and leaked the semen out, it would be totally ineffective.
If you have tried normal lubricated condoms (no spermicide), then try ones that are not lubricated. If that doesn't work, or instead of a non-lubricated type, try one of the plastic, poly-type of condoms (i.e. non-latex). If that doesn't help, try a natural skin condom. They won't protect against viruses, but being natural, it is unlikely they will irritate.
Thank you for the advice. Lubricated condoms irritate me and we've tried non-lubricated ones but they are always a snug fit on my boyfriend and he loses his erection because of the discomfort. Trojan's larger sized condoms are mainly made out of latex, ruling that brand out. Durex's Avanti seemed like the perfect choice but the standard size, the only size it comes in, doesn't fit my boyfriend. He's devoting this month, the last month for me on the pill, to find a condom that works for both of us. We avoided the possibility of using a lambskin condom, just the thought of lamb membrane freaks me out, but considering it is the most natural and ancient condom, we may consider - the only problem is is that Trojan, the only marketer of this product in the US, includes a lubricant on it. Great! Anyway, thank you for the advice everyone.
I'm not trying to be mean or anything, but have you ever thought about maybe staying on the pill? You didn't mention having any problems with it, is the only reason that you are looking for an alternative because your boyfriend decided you should? Not to pass judgement, but why on earth would you let your boyfriend decide such an important and personal thing for you? I mean, sure talk to him about it, ask his opinion or whatever, but don't so something as drastic as stopping the pill, which you seem to be happy and comfortable with, simply because your man decides you should. I'm not trying to be nasty, so I really hope you don't take it that way, I just think that maybe you should consider making this decision on your own, if you boyfriend cares for you then he should respect your decision, even if he doesn't agree with it.
My boyfriend is prefers a more natural approach to birth control, that's why he opposes the pill. I, on the otherhand, took it because it seems like the best contraceptive that allows us to feel each other completely. There is just one set back - I occasionally get numbness in my legs and arms and nausea on the pill. In the five months I've used the pill, I've tried two different types - orthotricyclen and orthotricyclen lo. In the past I've had depo provera and hated that one. It was like I was an entirely different person. I was so ultra moody and the breakthrough bleeding was awful and almost daily. Also I've had experience with different type of pills, all of which I felt side effects - lo/ovral, alesse, etc. I think my boyfriend's concern about the pills roots from seeing me endure the horrible side effects and simply because he loves me and who always prefers everything natural. I wish there was a pill that had no side effects. THat would be ideal. In any case, thank you for your words milobear. Very greatly appreciated.
Have you tried Yasmine? I have been taking it and have had no side affects what so ever! I was an Ortho tri Cyclen and allesse for several years and after being on the Yasmine I would not go back! Just talk to your dr.
Aslo I experianced irratation with condoms and we tried several differnant ways/types and I learned after a small medical procedure I was allergic to latex....That may be a possibility! A lot of people are!
Its a pity you had such bad experiences on birth control. However, milobear has a good point - are you happy with the one you're on at the moment? If you ARE happy on it, its definately worth talking to your boyfriend and trying to come to an agreement. It may turn out that staying on the pill is more sensible than going off it and having your body deal with adjusting hormones again, and running the risk of irritating yourself more and more in a search for a condom that won't cause a reaction.
That said - good luck in your search, if thats the decision you make!
As for Yasmin...hmmm... I had the worst side-effects on it including depression and anxiety... lots of women have adverse reactions to that one, so ladyinpink is one of the lucky ones!
I'm on diane35.