My Boy Friend hasn't had a full erection with me. He told me that with his last GF he would get really hard. But with me he only gets semi's. The other day he was lying on my bed and I told him that i wanted to have my way with him...so i did. I kissed him everywhere, licked him everywhere and touched him everywhere but he still didn't get an erection...not even a semi! I could tell that he was enjoying it by the noises he would make but still no dice. It really hurt me. I talked to him about it. I asked him why he doesn't get fully erect with me and he says he doesn't know. I told him that i feel like it's my fault. He said it wasn't but with a tone like if he wasn't sure. What is wrong? He doesn't even know. I'm frustrated and so is he. What can we do? Please help!
Last edited by Mod-S4; 10-10-2004 at 08:36 AM.
Reason: please use proper terminology / formatting removed (difficult to read)
its probably performance anxiety... and if you keep talking about it and worrying him then he will never get a full erection.. just continue doing stuff, and let nature take over and tell him not to think about it.. because the more we think about it the harder it is to get a full erection
Tough one...I agree...talking about it extensively wont work...My bf usually gets hard if we are laying in bed just watching TV while he is holding me (spooning). Its amazing...cuz you wouldnt think it would be a big deal...but it always seems to work.
Is he able to get a full erection by himself right now? There is always the possibility that he has a medical problem that started between the last gf and you. It could be a variety of things; smoking, high blood pressure, any sort of alcohol or drug use. You don't say his age, but as men get older, they frequently start to have trouble.
Just a few questions to keep in mind. When you are trying or playing around to lead into sex, has he been drinking, smoking the funny stuff or even hung over from the night before????? That could effect his performace both ways. With last g/f was he under the influence? Does that help him or give bad results.
It wasn't that he had been drinking...he doesn't drink all the time. From what he told me...he get's as big as he could get but not as thick. And with his last GF he would get so hard that there was no possible way for him to get bigger or thicker. I dunno if that makes sense but that's how he explained it. Oh and I don't bug him about it. I just asked that one day and never asked him again. I just wish that i had the same affect on him like his old gf. I want him to be as hard as he can get. Too bad he doesn't have a button that i could just push and get him super hard.
I know its a pain and very embarrasing when this happens. Is he tired? Tiredness is a horrible horrible thing when you're trying to get intimate! Tell him to get a good nights sleep the night before you go over. good luck to you
I would say he may be trying too hard and maybe you are too. I used to be the same way with my fiance' and once I quit worrying about it, it was all good. Just try not to stress it and worry about it so much and things will go fine.
Ok I have to put this in, GIRL it is not always your thought. Do not put all the pressure on you! Give yourself more credit, I know his other "girlfriend" could get him hard, but maybe not. That is a very touchy subject for guys and why would he confess "yeah, I can never get hard". Let him feel the guilt or the concern, it is his body and you need to realize it is nothing to do with you. Guys can get turned on half the time by a fly (just playing), so don't for one second think that his old gf could because she was better, no he needs to work it out within himself.
Sounds like the old catch 22. If you're afraid you won't be able to get hard, you won't, and if you ever don't get hard when you want to, you become afraid you won't again next time...and around you go. You have to both know that it's ok either way and remove all pressure and care and go with what you get, hard or soft and with the lack of pressure the problem will clear itself up.
Hi - If it makes you feel any better, I went thru this with my bf. And... he proceeded to tell me that he never had the problem with any previous girlfriends. Hmmm... really... I don't think so. Sometimes when it comes to sex issues you need to take what is said with a grain of salt. I'm not certain how long you have been together, but in a new relationship sometimes it is performance anxiety that can make this happen. My bf and I have been together for about 6 months now and I think the problem has finally resolved itself. Sometimes it's just a matter of getting comfortable with your partner. Good luck.