a bit of an issue... - Sexual Health - Women Message Board

SilentShadow96 · 12-14-2004, 02:33 AM

alright. im 19 and i have absolutely NO desire for sex. it burns kinda when i do have sex. when i was 16, i was raped. then at 17 i had sex willingly for the first time and i have done it many different times with only 2 different people and its always burned. i always thought "maybe this time it wont" but its been 2 years and still nothing. its becoming a problem for my current boyfriend. hes my longest relaionship and i love him but i cant have sex with him because its so painful..

i cant understand why i have no desire for sex...could i have been mentally damaged from the rape? im not on any medication. and only really had 2 infections in my whole life. hopefully someone can help me.

Letterhead · 12-14-2004, 06:05 AM

Rape is surely a delicate issue and different persons raped would have different reactions afterwards. May be yours is that you don't want to have any more of this. But, from your words it just seems that you are absolutely fine mentally. You are at a sweet age of 19 and you are loving people around you. So, obviously you are not putting blame of some maniac on every male. So, thats a real positive sign. The reason can be only physical. May be the thought of burning is causing you to be away from having sex. You can easily consult a doctor and get a real solid advice on it and your life would be as simple as any one else's is. May God help you.

chevyman · 12-14-2004, 07:27 PM

Rape and the bad experince it has cause you may be a factor? esp if you was rape as a vergin?...but if you gotten over the nightmare..and now being sexully involved....and the forplay and wanting to be sexually satisfied with your b/f and it burns?......sounds like to me you may have a yest infection that has not cleared up all the way or a uti....I'm so sorry for your bad experinces, but 4 years... your body should have recovered phyiscally..but maybe not emotionally....my advise would be see a Medical Dr..Gyn...and also a social worker/counsler..Good Luck

Soulcatcher · 12-14-2004, 07:37 PM

Maybe from the rape you have scarred tissue. I know when I had surgery from a LEEP I have scar tissue and when I get my paps it burns and I hate it. If the man was really rough and you were delicate then maybe you tore and when you have sex it's rubbing up against it. Have you tried a lubricate and have your lover go at it easily? What about taking Tylonol before sex? Or maybe an anti inflamatory? I would ask your GYN. Rape is a serious subject but is something that can be dealt with. The pain isn't good to feel every time. Get checked, I think they should be able to see the scar tissue because it is a brighter color. Good luck

Mecpcpj · 12-14-2004, 08:29 PM

SilentShadow, as a previous poster said, rape is a delicate subject indeed. It is quite possible that you are mentally damaged in a way from the rape. You may be turned off to the whole idea of having sex or being intimate because it conjures up subconsciously the rape experience. I don't know if this is possible for you, but maybe you should see a professional to discuss this because it's a really serious matter.

I'm not sure what the burning sensation could be. Sometimes I get that if I have to urinate after or during sex and it'll burn. But this is only occassional. I have to agree that it may be scarred tissue and it might get irritated during intercourse. This can be dangerous because the tissue can tear and cause some kind of an infection. Either that or the tissue will have to grow again and it could grow back thicker and more delicate than before.