Sensative issues - Sexual Health - Women Message Board

Paige70 · 02-19-2005, 09:01 AM

Hello everyone. I am thankful that I found this board because I need to get some stuff of of my chest.

I am in a pretty new relationship with a wonderful man. We are very happy, but I'm having a sexual hangup and I need to get it off of my chest and hopefully get some feedback.

I am unable to reach orgasm through intercourse, which I know is the norm for a woman. Normally that hasn't been a problem with my past partners because they would always go down to satisfy me. But my new guy doesn't like to give oral. I am having a hard time understanding why he doesn't do this because he's the first man I've ever been with that hasn't dove for it. lol I am very sensative when it comes to my body image. I have quite a few hang ups from being overweight even thought I've lost most of it. So I wonder if it's me, he's told me that it's not me, that he just doesn't like to do it. But when we first starting seeing each other, he said that he would. So when we have sex it's hard for me to relax enough to achieve orgasm. Even if he's using a vibrator on me because I've got this hangup that he doesn't like my private parts. I'm VERY clean down there, I just can't understand why he wouldn't do that for me. I do it for him all the time!! When I try to talk to him about it he gets a bit upset about it. I think maybe he feels badly about it.

I just don't know what to do. It's nagging at my brain. I've only been able to orgasm once with him with the use a vibrator. I just don't want to go on for the rest of my life having to use a vib to bring me to orgasm. Does that sound selfish? I mean I love him and this isn't a deal breaker, but I sure with I could have an orgasm with him in a more conventional way.

Paige70 · 02-19-2005, 11:15 AM

14 views... nobody has any feedback for me?

Please people. I really need some help.

chevyman · 02-19-2005, 11:54 AM

Paige70,
Hi,
This is something very private for you and your b/f to work out,
others can only tell you what they do and what works for them, this may not be your case.
However
Some men just don't like to do oral period. reasons maybe unknown, rather it's the way they were brought up (raised) or just a simple religious prefrance?

Bout all you can do is have a long private talk with him, just tell him you love oral performed on you (not being selfesh) but for your satisfaction/gratifcation..then he needs to explain to you his reasons why he won't do it? if you like/or dis-like his anwser... then its up to you to countiue your relationship with him!

Sex has been many issues with the divorce rate/some say its argumentive but when you get right down to it... sex plays a bigger part in a marrige/or a romatic relationship than one may think or realize.

P.S. Don't you worry bout being a little bit over weight other than health problems!!....over weight people have feelings too!... NO PUN INTENDED.
Good Luck with your realtionship.

pumpkin254 · 02-19-2005, 12:07 PM

Hi sweetie,
You know i have the same problems with my boyfriend,we have been together for 2 years and he has only preformed oral sex on me about 15 times. I have to stimulate myself during sexto have an orgasm, I am a heavy girl too, He is the only person that i have ever had this problem with, I also believe that you need to have an adult conversation with him as I do with my man. It gets so bad with me thta i have to fake it most of the time cause i get aggrivated with the whole thing, so communication is the key hunny that is what we are working on and it is starting to work.

Paige70 · 02-19-2005, 12:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chevyman

Paige70,
Hi,
This is something very private for you and your b/f to work out,
others can only tell you what they do and what works for them, this may not be your case.
However
Some men just don't like to do oral period. reasons maybe unknown, rather it's the way they were brought up (raised) or just a simple religious prefrance?

Bout all you can do is have a long private talk with him, just tell him you love oral performed on you (not being selfesh) but for your satisfaction/gratifcation..then he needs to explain to you his reasons why he won't do it? if you like/or dis-like his anwser... then its up to you to countiue your relationship with him!

Sex has been many issues with the divorce rate/some say its argumentive but when you get right down to it... sex plays a bigger part in a marrige/or a romatic relationship than one may think or realize.

P.S. Don't you worry bout being a little bit over weight other than health problems!!....over weight people have feelings too!... NO PUN INTENDED.
Good Luck with your realtionship.

Thank you. I did try to talk to him about it and it seemed that he got a bit upset with me. He said that we'd talked about it before, that it's just not something he likes to do. He says that it's not me. But how can I be sure that he's not just saying that not to hurt my feelings? I was in a relationship with someone for 6 years and he destroyed my self esteem. So I always think that it's me. I know that I shouldn't think that way, but I can't help it. He loves me very much and wants to marry me, and I want to marry him too. This issue is not big enough to end our relationship. I love having sex with him. I just have this hangup. I guess I just need some reassurance, that some men just don't like to do it. Because I've never met one that didn't, until now. Do some men just say that they do because it's more acceptable than to say that they don't? I just can't help but wonder if there's something about me that's turning him off to it. I know you guys can't answer that, but I just need to put my mind at ease about this. It's eating me up inside.