It is not very difficult at all to massage the cervix from the inside of the vagina, since a typical female vagina is only eight to ten centimeters long, with the cervix being a protruding structure.
The rough spot you're feeling is probably her G-Spot. Good work!
I personally like cervical stimulation, and deep penetration, but you're right when you say too much pressure = pain, which is a lot of the basis for the "Size doesn't matter" argument -- large penises = more cervical pressure which can equal pain.
According to gynaecological textbooks, the cervix actually theoretically has no pain receptors (which is why a pap smear is not supposed to hurt,) though I will admit to having felt a twinge in there once or twice. I find if you rub on it like you're playing eskimo kisses with your finger, just bumping back and forth, instead of pressing, tends to ensure you don't get too much pressure. Though keep your fingernails trimmed for this, since scratches in there hurt.
Also, since it's kind of cone-shaped, sometimes rubbing it root to tip helps keep maximum stimulation for minimal pressure and pain.
No, rubbing it harder is not a good idea, and I have not noticed that it gets more sensitive with handling, rather, the opposite can be true.