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Old 07-11-2005, 08:32 PM   #1
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Question Masturbating before sex ok?

I am like most women. I can only orgasm thru direct stimulation of the clitoris. I have tried many times to have vaginal orgasms while having intercourse, with no luck. I experimented, excercised and studied..lol I have come to terms that it must be biological....i guess my "birth canal" is not as receptive.
Now, everytime i am going to have sex, i masterbate and orgasm before foreplay. This gets me a little "high" and lubricated and relaxed so i wont have to try hard at acheiveing orgasm (since ive already acheived that). My question is, does me doing this regularly decrease my chances of ever having a vaginal orgasm? Can this make me less sensitive inside my vagina?

one more thing,.... I have tried mastubating while having sex but it feels like a "conflict of interest"; its either or... if i masturbate i cant concentate with anything inside. If the penis is thrusting inside, my clitoris is not as sensitive... does this make any sence?


 
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Old 07-11-2005, 10:08 PM   #2
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Re: Masturbating before sex ok?

I wouldn't go as far as saying it's a bad thing to masturbate before sex, but if you are like a lot of women, once you've had an orgasm, that's pretty much it, so it seems like you are really reducing your changes of having any kind of orgasm during sex.

I would suggest you keep trying to masturbate during intercourse and even though it may seem distracting, there's not harm in doing it anyway, right? And if it seems selfish to concentrate on that, go right ahead! You are responsible for your own orgasm, after all.

Anyway, if you do manage to get the hang of it, you will find the payoff is well worth it.

Good luck.

 
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Old 07-11-2005, 10:28 PM   #3
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Re: Masturbating before sex ok?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hybrid007
I am like most women. I can only orgasm thru direct stimulation of the clitoris. I have tried many times to have vaginal orgasms while having intercourse, with no luck. I experimented, excercised and studied..lol I have come to terms that it must be biological....i guess my "birth canal" is not as receptive.
Now, everytime i am going to have sex, i masterbate and orgasm before foreplay. This gets me a little "high" and lubricated and relaxed so i wont have to try hard at acheiveing orgasm (since ive already acheived that). My question is, does me doing this regularly decrease my chances of ever having a vaginal orgasm? Can this make me less sensitive inside my vagina?

one more thing,.... I have tried mastubating while having sex but it feels like a "conflict of interest"; its either or... if i masturbate i cant concentate with anything inside. If the penis is thrusting inside, my clitoris is not as sensitive... does this make any sence?

Many women in this situation find that they have success by masturbating during foreplay (or having their partner stimulate them), and when they're on the brink of orgasm, begin intercourse.

 
Old 07-12-2005, 10:03 PM   #4
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Re: Masturbating before sex ok?

Do you mean you are masturbating yourself to orgasm before being with your husband/bf? Or is that a part of your act together? If you are totally alone, I do think that would be damaging in the long run. By that I mean, you might come to the conclusion that you don't need your husband. But if you mean that is a part of your sexual experience together, than it's probably not as big a deal and is no doubt a huge turn on for him to watch you.

If you want to have more intimacy though, I suggest you have your husband masturbate you during intercourse. It's quite possible and you might find it preferable to your "either or" scenario.

 
Old 07-13-2005, 01:19 PM   #5
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Re: Masturbating before sex ok?

Quote:
Originally Posted by poohbearspal
Do you mean you are masturbating yourself to orgasm before being with your husband/bf? Or is that a part of your act together? If you are totally alone, I do think that would be damaging in the long run. By that I mean, you might come to the conclusion that you don't need your husband. But if you mean that is a part of your sexual experience together, than it's probably not as big a deal and is no doubt a huge turn on for him to watch you.

If you want to have more intimacy though, I suggest you have your husband masturbate you during intercourse. It's quite possible and you might find it preferable to your "either or" scenario.
Thanks...!!

I did mean that i masturbate before my boyfriend comes over for the night.

With my exboyfriend orgasm thru oral sex or masturbation WAS part of foreplay.
But my new boyfriend i cant seem to orgasm as quick... i dont want him to wait forever and i refuse to fake it...
He knows that i dont orgasm during sex and he admitted that it kind of turns him off a little bit- seeing that theres no conclusion to sex by my part. I explained that the stimulation i receive from sex and the stimilation i get from mastubating is equal in intesity but different in feeling... so i AM enjoying sex whether i orgasm or not... I dont mind having mind-blowing sex and not having an orgasm... but guys dont understand that sicne they orgasm everytime they have sex...

 
Old 07-13-2005, 06:25 PM   #6
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Re: Masturbating before sex ok?

Hybrid, though it's really none of my business and you do whatever you need to, I just can't help but believe that the way you are currently handling this problem will only make the problem worse, or at best, just prolong it.

Does your boyfriend realize you are masturbating before you have sex with him? It seems to me that would only make him feel even more inadequate as a lover. He should be interested in your orgasm and want to help you to reach one every time. I would think that at the very least, you should masturbate with him. At least that would let him see that you are capable of having one, it would bring more intimacy to your relationship and it would include him in the whole process. In time, you might be able to move from the solo experience to achieving one with him.

Another alternative would be for him to use a vibrator on you, with your guidance. Again, at least he would be a part of the whole process. Whatever works for you though.

 
Old 07-14-2005, 09:56 AM   #7
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Re: Masturbating before sex ok?

Quote:
Originally Posted by poohbearspal
Hybrid, though it's really none of my business and you do whatever you need to, I just can't help but believe that the way you are currently handling this problem will only make the problem worse, or at best, just prolong it.

Does your boyfriend realize you are masturbating before you have sex with him? It seems to me that would only make him feel even more inadequate as a lover. He should be interested in your orgasm and want to help you to reach one every time. I would think that at the very least, you should masturbate with him. At least that would let him see that you are capable of having one, it would bring more intimacy to your relationship and it would include him in the whole process. In time, you might be able to move from the solo experience to achieving one with him.

Another alternative would be for him to use a vibrator on you, with your guidance. Again, at least he would be a part of the whole process. Whatever works for you though.
Thank you for your input.
But he does know that i am capable of having one.. With him, i have only been able to achieve one thru oral sex (cunnilingus). The problem with that is, i take too too long (like 35mins average). And by the time i orgasm he has lost his erection and we would start all over again... Its very stressful. and frustruating. Since i know that this is MY problem, i rather just deal with this on my own and than to put a strain on him or our sexual activities.

 
Old 07-16-2005, 07:59 PM   #8
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Re: Masturbating before sex ok?

Its like that for me and I wonder why too and fingering me gets me off better than having it inside of me thank god its like that for other females I am not alone then.

 
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