OK I'm seeing this guy right now. We've dated for 2 months now and we just started having sex. We have done it twice. A few days ago I was with him and we had oral, but when I told him I wanted to have sex he refused. This happened again another day. I've been getting frusterated because he doesn't seem interested. He barely ever initiates being sexually active with me and when I try he doesn't want to. I know he enjoys sex, what 20 yr old male wouldn't? He told me he used to have sex at least once a day with his past gf's and he even hinted one day that he wished I was more aggressive and more interested in sex. I don't understand it. Anyone have any opinions?
Do you know if he's on any medication? I've heard that some anti-depressants could cause some sexual side effects. Also, what's going on in his life now. Is he stressed? Maybe he's got a lot on him mind? There could be many different reasons why he's not interested in having sex...reasons that may have absolutely nothing to do with you.
"I know he enjoys sex, what 20 yr old male wouldn't?"
Many 20 year old males have low testosterone and/or high estrogen & have little interest in sex. Some are so far out of hormone balance that that can not perform sexually, no desire & no hard erections.
Steroids? Is that what he is taking because one of the major side effects is decreased sexual ability. They do not want it as much, or cannot perform. If that is what he is taking, I have heard they are bad for you.
He is thinking about going on steroids but he hasn't yet. He does have acne particularly on his back though but he's always had it. And maybe he isn't interested? But I mean he was never very interested in being sexually active with me. I always made the first move. He never did. And just the yesterday he made a joke. I was drinking and then he was like "Yes! Maybe tonight I'll get some" but he was laughing and he didn't get anything from me. We just started going out not too long ago and I've noticed that we haven't completely opended up to eachother either, he doesn't talk much about personal things or feelings. Only online or through texting. We spend a lot of time together though. I don't know. Maybe he is shy? I'm a bit shy myself but I'm trying. I'm hoping soon our relationship will open up a little bit but until then I don't plan on telling him how I feel.
something sounds weird about this. He teases like he wants you to be sexually agressive and jokes about how maybe he will get some but when you try to make the moves hes not interested? I mean didn't you tell him you wanted to have sex? And he declined. Sounds weird to me ya know? Whats with all those mixed signals? Man sounds to me like he is playing games with you. And it IS NOT cool when men play games. Usually means they have some issues going on. I know from experience!
You think so? But why? I mean the one time I was trying and he wasn't letting me and I asked him why? I was like... "you complain when I'm too shy and when I try to open up you don't like it? I don't get it" But he just said he did like it and that he liked teasing me :| there we go another joke!!! Then he said he didn't like making out all the time, yet he mentioned he wished I was more agressive and told me bout having sex daily with his ex. Yet he doesn't make the moves. He got condoms for us. He kisses me sweetly but nothing more!!! So confusing!!! I don't want to come on as some horny girl but I wish I knew what he wanted EXACTLY and I guess I won't know until I ask him... or tell him how I feel and ask for detailed answers.
WELL YOU SAID IT YOURSELF. YOU'VE ONLY BEEN DATED A SHORT WHILE AND HAVEN'T GOT AROUND TO BEING OPEN WITH EACH OTHER. MAYBE,JUST MAYBE YOU SHOULD HAVE GOTTEN TO KNOW EACH OTHER A LITTLE BETTER BEFORE YOU JUMP IN THE SACK. MAYBE HE'S TURNED OFF BY THE FACT THAT YOU'RE WILLING TO DO SO MUCH SO SOON...INCLUDING ORAL!!!! HE'S JUST HANGING ON UNTIL SOMEONE ELSE COMES ALONG.
Maybe you're right. I shouldn't of had sex with him but I did! Nothing I can do now.
"HE'S JUST HANGING ON UNTIL SOMEONE ELSE COMES ALONG."
...Thanks for laying it out there hun. He did oral on me first a few times so to me... me doing things with him was not that big of a deal. How old are you anyways? And if he's waiting for somebody else why is he wasting all of his time and money on me??? Anybody else have any opinions on this...?????