Low sex drive help please. - Sexual Health - Women Message Board

chode · 01-01-2006, 12:03 PM

Hi

Been with girlfriend for 3 years, and about six months into the relationship she started to lose interest in sex. Now she has no drive at all unless she is drunk! We are very open and talk a lot, and she told me early on in the relationship that it would happen because it has happened to her before. All her previous relationships ended up in no sex at all.

She also takes one of the pills, begins with an "m" and has done sinse she was 14. She takes it to regulate her periods and make them lighter and less painfull. I know that the pill has been related to loss in sex drive but at the beginning we had sex regularly when she was taking it. Is the problem in the pill or something else?

neflin · 01-01-2006, 12:22 PM

I think you have seen this coming for a long time. If she has to get drunk to get sexual you do have a problem.

If you can not talk to her and get some good results you just may want to find another girlfriend that appreciates you.

chode · 01-01-2006, 02:00 PM

We can talk together really well and we know its a problem. But We have an excellent relationship and i intend to stay with her. We have talked about it but we dont really know what to do? and I dont want to put any pressure on her, because i think that could makes things worse. She says that when we do have sex, she really enjoys it and she definitely seems to. So its not bad sex its just rare sex!

Any ideas?

thanx for the reply.

katidid95 · 01-03-2006, 07:41 PM

Yes the bcp can lower libido. I've been hearing this recently, but after being on the pill most of my adult life I do feel like it affected my sex drive. I went off in my late 30's (10 years ago) and actually have more of a sex drive now than in my 20's and 30's. It was like I wanted to have sex in my mind, but never really felt the urge. I used to also want to have sex more if I'd had something to drink, maybe because it lowered my inhibitions, but then sex and alcohol don't really go together either.

Seriously, she should consider going off the pill. If you are in a caring relationship, you can work out other ways for birth control. Doctors are so "pro-pill" and it's really a shame because I think it really screws up women's hormones in the long run. She might want to also consider having her hormones tested after a few months (saliva testing) to see where everything is.

I feel like I really missed out all those years!

E1979 · 01-04-2006, 09:01 AM

No offense to the person that's advice was "find a new girlfriend" but I think that is horrible advice! The problem may not be that she has no interest in sex with "him" but anyone at all. I have this same problem. I have been tested and my testosterone levels are a little too low. I love my husband and want so badly to be interested in sex but it is just not appealing to me right now. I have started a low dose testosterone 2 weeks ago and hopefully should see some improvement soon. I would espescially think that his girlfriend is not just "not interested" in him as she said this happens all the time. To me it sounds like the pill or another factor has messed with her hormone levels and she should look into balancing them out.
Good luck.