My wife's pubic hair is not out of control, but is pretty substainial. There are also times when we go swimming that her hair extends out from her suit. While I am only slightly troubled by this (is it wrong to for me to feel this way?) I get excited to think of how she would look more trimmed or shaved. I do not want to hurt her feelings however and make her self consious on one side but on the other side would like to say something.
As for me, I keep nicely trimmed and shaved just becuase of the feeling it gives me, but that is just me.
If possible, how do I go about asking her to do the same (or just better leave alone!!)
Last edited by Mod-S4; 02-20-2006 at 05:09 PM.
Reason: Survey removed. Please read the Special Rules sticky at the top of the board.
I am in the same boat as you. Like you I keep myself neat and trimmed but my wife is o'natural. I totally understand the feeling of getting excited over thinking of your wife trimmed, I do too. I have asked her a few times if she would trim it or shave it but she refuses. Says thats how she is and too bad. When I explain that it is a pain during oral sex her response is fine then don't do it. So I know how you feel and would be interested in a way to convience her to trim it, at least a little.
I'd say to bring it up more with the bathing suit situation so she doesn't feel you think there's something wrong with her in the bedroom. I don't know, tho. You know your wife and the relationship y'all have. I expect my hubby to tell me stuff like this before I go out in public -- and he expects the same from me -- LOL, whether it's a loose bugger stuck to me, spinach in my teeth or my pubes hanging out before we hit the pool. He's also quick to inform me when my toenails get too long and scratch him at night while we sleep After 14 years, I guess we're pretty comfy with each other like that, tho.
Trimming isn't bad at all, and I'm frankly surprised most women don't, but shaving is not something I'd ever want to do again. Women tend to get ingrown hairs down there from shaving which can turn into nasty, painful cysts. A burning, insanely itchy rash always happened to me, too, after I'd shaved. Plus, I'd always cut myself. Too many folds, curves and turns that I frankly just can't see while I'm trying to manipulate a razor. I suppose waxing is an option, but I don't think I'd want to endure that kind of pain.
I can understand why you would like it trimmed. I don't remember exactly how my husband aproached the subject since it was so long ago. I think he said he wanted to shave me and see what it was like but I don't remember his exact words. I've shaved before and oh does it itch when it starts to grow back. But we decided on a short cut. I never have to worry about a bikini wax or shave because all I have to do is get out the scissors and he's ready to get to work. LOL Anytime you approach someone about a delicate issue, I think it's a good idea to prepare what you want to say, how you'll say it so as not to cause offense, and the timing. Maybe try to keep the conversation light and fun too.
well, honestly this is a very delicate issue for many women, becasue, it is a eprsonal choice.
some women choose not to shave for all kinds of reasond,
plus, it is just plain itchy and can hurt,
but trimming isn;t so bad, it's can be kinda nice
anyways, it;s reasonable for you to hope she'll trim up a bit, but not shave the whole thing, you know...
i would bring it up very neutrally, i would try to have a conversation, a SEXY conversation with her during foreplay or someting about what her fantasies are, or what you could try out that would lease her, hopefuly, she will ask you back, and you can bring up, in a sexy way, not offensice or insulting, about ...
well, i always thought it would be really sexy and new if you triimed a bit... and so on
maybe that won't work, i don;t know how your realtionsip is, you know your wife best,
but i would guess that making it a playful, sexy, conversation would be much better than a factual converstaiomn,,,,
remind her how sexy she is to you with or withot a trim, and have fun wit the talk, but remeber, she might like her hair, and might not want to change it, and that you;ll have to be staified with
shaving and trimming aren;t for everyone!
Yes, a delicate issue...I love what cookie suggests...offer to shave her or trim her. This could be very erotic! Way back when...some 26 years ago, my boyfriend asked me if I'd mind shaving myself and I didn't think anything of it, been shaved 100% ever since(once I did grow it back and quickly shaved it again!). The trick is to shave daily so it doesn't itch. You get used to it and after a little while, it seems weird to see someone with hair.
I think you owe it to her to point out that pubes are sticking out her bathing suit...very embarrassing! I'd want my BF to point out things to me like that. So next time you see it and you are still at home or in the hotel room...say something. You know what...this is funny....but my own mother told me this when I was a teenager! Yes...Mom told me! Girl...you need to shave that if you are going to wear a bathing suit.
There's also, I think, a generational difference too. Older women weren't exposed to shaving their privates like the younger women are. That may be the issue, you didn't mention ages. There's a line in a comedy where this guy is fixing to give oral and the girl has hair and he says something like "how 70's of you". I cracked up! It's so true.
I completely prefer how it looks when its shaved, not everything off but quite a lot. The thing is tho, is that i always get a red rash and some ingrown hairs and these get worse if i shave everyday. Keepsgoin what do you use to shave, just regular shaving gel or something else. I just use regular shaving cream and then put on this cooling gel for hair removal after but still i get the red dots. it drives me crazy, because no matter what i try i cant maintan it. A little scared of waxing
Last edited by Mod-S4; 02-25-2006 at 08:37 AM.
Reason: Off topic question removed. Please allow the original poster to have his question answered here. Thanks.
I feel for you. My Mother-in-Law walks around in a bathing suit with pubic hair hanging out and I am embarressed to be near her. I would suggest giving your wife a gift certificate to a spa. Let the ladies at the spa in on the fact that you would like her to have a shave and trim. Tell them not to tell her that you asked for this. This way another female will be bring up the question, Would you like a trim and shave? Which would in turn allow your wife to discuss it with another female. Perhaps hearing it from another female and finding out that this is the norm and acceptable will help make it a positive thing for her. And once she does do this she will need affirmative action from you, so she realizes she should keep it up all the time.
But like another poster said - my mom told me to shave and clean up when wearing a bathing suit. I think you should point that out to her. Once you do, she is bound to start looking around and will notice not too many women have hair hanging out down there.
for years my hubby pestered me to shave and i would never do it because in the past i tried it once and it itched ike mad.one day i mentioned i wouldn't mind a bikini wax thinking i could do this because it wouldn't itch when it grew back.well he got to thinking and after about thirty minutes he told me if i do it he'll pay for it....well at $75 a pop i agreed.i went to a local spa and ended up getting the brazilian wax....everything gone...let me tell you it was great.now i hate having hair down there and i go regularly to keep it smooth....at my hubby's exspense...lol.he is happy.i am happy and most of all the girl who waxes me is happy.
Wow, so much great information, thanks for all of the input. While I am alittle older she is in her early 30's but is just now considering how she looks ect. (usually pay's only a limited amount of attention to herself, not very high maintenance!!!)
I loved the idea about the Spa's those will probably be something she'll be intrested in and even if they can't convince her, it will be an opertunity to cover the subject (ie. so what was the Spa like, what type of things did they offer you ect).
With out-door activities just around the corner this would be a great birthday present for her (and even for me if it works, talk about a win-win)
Thanks for all of your input and let me know if you think of anything else.
lol you are never too old for a brazilian wax! i will be 41 next month and while i usually don't care how i look i do enjoy the waxing because it makes me feel sexy even though nobody actually sees it...lol.
I had the same problem with my boyfriend and his extremely hairy chest/ .. area. I asked him one day if I could trim it up a little bit, but he absolutely refused! I was too scared to just come out and tell him "look, this really bothers me." So I just decided to keep telling him. I told him how sexy it would be if he would trim up a little bit, but still nothing. I kept on with it and finally one day, he pops out of the shower completely shaved, and has been since. You just have to really tell them how you feel. If you're married, you're supposed to be open, and honest about your feelings, right? Don't be afraid to speak your mind.