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Old 04-20-2006, 11:56 AM   #1
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MicheleAmw HB User
Intimacy and hand washing hygiene

Am I being too picky? I've been seeing my boyfriend for a little over two months. I've noticed that whenever he uses the bathroom at either my place or his that I never hear him wash his hands -- the tolite flushes and the next thing I know, the door opens, and there he is. We stayed the night in a hotel a few weeks ago, and again, he used the bathroom and didn't wash his hands. I find that appalling because I know there are all sorts of germs in hotel rooms. I can't help assume he doesn't wash his hands after using the restroom -- ever...pubic restrooms included. I find myself not wanting to be intimate with him because I don't know what kinds of germs he has on his hands, what he may be exposing me too, and I don't know how to bring it up. He's 47, and I'm sure he's set in his ways. Suggestions?

 
Old 04-20-2006, 12:58 PM   #2
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StenoLady1 HB UserStenoLady1 HB User
Re: Intimacy and hand washing hygiene

No, you're not being picky! That would totally gross me out. It DOES gross me out when I see other women not wash their hands in the restroom, say, in a restaurant, and then I see them handling their food -- often their family's food, too.

Hmm...suggestions? I agree you need to address this ASAP. I don't really know other than to just bring it up when he comes out of the restroom, something like, "Did you wash your hands? I didn't hear the water going in there. Dinner's almost done." sort of thing, maybe. I would probably think associating it with food would at least open up a less-awkward line of communication and hopefully get your point across that that's unacceptable and you do "notice."

Good luck to you. Hopefully you'll get a few more suggestions!

 
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Old 04-20-2006, 01:08 PM   #3
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justinluck HB User
Re: Intimacy and hand washing hygiene

Yikes, you better find out what else he doesn't do! Does he shower regularly? I'm about half his age, but would never think of not washing my hands after using the restroom. That is absolutely disgusting and it is completely normal for you to be repulsed by it. If you've only been seeing him for 2 months, maybe it is time for you to move on? Especially if he's not going to change.

 
Old 04-26-2006, 09:18 PM   #4
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mama_in_atx HB User
Re: Intimacy and hand washing hygiene

I've known several men who don't wash their hands after urinating simply because they don't actually touch their penises in the process. My son tries to use this same rationale but I tell him that he at least needs to wash the germs off his hands from touching the toilet. That said, as soon as he touches the doorknob that was touched by someone who didn't wash his hands, he's "dirty" again!

See, you can't escape germs everywhere, and truthfully, even handwashing (unless he uses surgical technique!) doesn't KILL most germs anyway, as it really just shuffles them around a bit. If you don't like his hygiene, you can bring it up with him, but at his age he probably doesn't care. Oh, and you're a lot less likely to get, say, a UTI from intimacy following him not washing his hands after peeing, than you are from just being intimate with a new partner from introducing new flora into your vaginal area anyhow. So if you're a clean freak (as I am), he just may not be the right guy for you.

 
Old 04-27-2006, 09:16 AM   #5
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tommy124 HB Usertommy124 HB Usertommy124 HB Usertommy124 HB Usertommy124 HB User
Re: Intimacy and hand washing hygiene

I'm grossed out, too. It isn't just women who are horrified.

 
Old 04-27-2006, 07:31 PM   #6
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adamace1 HB User
Re: Intimacy and hand washing hygiene

Hello, I have my to cents to put in, you might not like it but oh well. First is a public restroom or hotel, I'm sure there's more germs on everything, more so than me. So even if i wash my hands i have to turn off the sink, witch has germs all over it most likely even poop from other people, then you have to use the dryier thingy or grab some peper towels, which people could have spred germs all over. So whats the point. I try not to touch anything in there, i even use my shoe to flush. But at home i don't have a problem washing my hands. Why don't you just ask him to? Most men don't wash there hands.

 
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