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Old 04-28-2006, 07:55 AM   #1
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Derangea HB User
Uncircumcised Boyfriend

I've been struggling with this for the past 5 months. I've only been with two men. My boyfriend now is uncircumcised and I never experienced that. Usually I get really turned on by watching a man masturbate but when its uncircumcised I just automatically get turned off. I dont get as turned on giving him hand jobs or oral sex. Sometimes I dont like it at all. And everytime after we have sex I always get a yeast infection. He's perfectly fine though, has no problems whatsoever. I love this man and think he may be "the one". But I dont want him to circumcise himself because he has strong issues against it for some reason. And I dont know if I should ever tell him how I feel about it. I thought I'd just ask and get some opinions.
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Old 04-28-2006, 09:35 AM   #2
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Re: Uncircumcised Boyfriend

I'd say, first, see if you can change your feelings. If not, then see how much this can affect you. If not much, let it go. If too much, then bring it up with him and ask him to tell you about his thoughts because this relationship can end to a marriage or something non-temporary and you have to make sure if you're making the right decision.

 
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Old 04-28-2006, 01:16 PM   #3
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Re: Uncircumcised Boyfriend

You should do him the favor of breaking it off with him, rather than asking him to circumcise himself for your sexual pleasure. If he got circumcised for you, and then you broke up with him, as can happen in any relationship, he would hate you forever.
If he has no yeast infection, he can't be giving it to you. If he had one, he would know it. It would be itchy, red, and very uncomfortable. You may both need to be treated with monistat, or something similar, to get rid of it. A man has every right to his whole body. Foreskins are intensely pleasurable to their owners. I would have strong issues against it myself. You would, too, if you related it to your own body. Would you give up your inner lips or clitoris for a man? Would you resent him asking?

What is the nature of your negative association with a foreskin? It is, after all, a normal part of a whole human body. Do you feel they are dirty, or undesirable, or something like that? If so, you might want to ask yourself why that is. Masturbation, in my mind at least, is much more sensual with an intact penis, because it has moving parts. There is something mysterious about seeing the glans covered and uncovered.
This is your problem, not his. You need to solve it yourself, either with him, or without him. Do him the favor of leaving him out of it. This is something he doesn't deserve. If you find you can't figure it out, and can't adjust, leave him, and find a good circumcised man, and make yourself happy. Please, just don't try and change him. It will lead to nothing but misery for both of you. Good luck to both of you with it.

 
Old 04-28-2006, 01:54 PM   #4
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jesabella HB User
Re: Uncircumcised Boyfriend

I agree with Tommy.
For some reason I've had quite a few uncircumcised boyfriends and I really do prefer it. It doesn't feel much different for me, but I just think that the natural state of things are usually the way to go. The only time it bothered me was when a boyfriend of mine had "phimosis"-- when the foreskin doesnt retract. It was hard to clean. I loved him so much though that I just took it as a part of him and that was that. Other than that, if they clean it... which is not hard... than it's not much different from a circumcised one. When the foreskin is pulled back it's looks much the same.
You really shouldn't ever mention to him that you don't like his penis as it is. My current boyfriend has a fairly small penis, but I love him so much that he has never felt that I am anything but delighted by it. And because it's his, I truly am and our sex life gets better every day. I would hate him to have any sort of insecurity on account of me---sexual or otherwise.
Plus, being an uncircumcised male in the US I'm sure he's had his fair share of feeling just a little different.
If I have boys I am actually hoping that my partner agrees to not circumcise them. It is an unneccesary operation and it removes some of the most sensitive part of the penis. If you really think about it, it's a strange practice. I completely respect people who do it as a part of their faith, but other than that... let it be. I think some people think it's unclean, but it's only unclean if you don't clean it.

 
Old 04-28-2006, 02:10 PM   #5
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Losec20mg HB User
Re: Uncircumcised Boyfriend

Whats wrong with having skin over the head of his penis... you can pull it back and, it will be the same as other penises.. I think your man is fine like that and, you may be the one with the issues.. if ever, dont waste his time. Do some good thinking about this because(like somone said).. it can lead to marriage.. so.

Last edited by Losec20mg; 04-28-2006 at 02:11 PM.

 
Old 04-28-2006, 02:31 PM   #6
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DoorNumberThree HB User
Re: Uncircumcised Boyfriend

I think you need to talk to him about it. I don't think he'll take it well if you tell him that his foreskin turns you off. However, you do have a valid concern that he's giving you an infection. If he is a nice guy, he can help you by keeping it clean and washing under the foreskin or wear a condom. The physical aspect is not that difficult to solve. I think you should start your discussion on the health concerns.

As for the mental aspect, that would be more difficult. I think it's too much to ask someone (especially if you're dating for only 5 months) to circumcize. It's probably a painful operation and not without risk (gee, what if the doctor was drunk and missed with the knife). It's not his fault that he is uncircumcize and it's like asking a woman to get a breast implant because her breast doesn't turn him on. You may have to think about how important it is for you to have someone uncircumcize and balance it against the pluses this guy has.

Good luck!

 
Old 04-28-2006, 04:12 PM   #7
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Re: Uncircumcised Boyfriend

Yuo sooooo...love him for what he is.. Like mentioned above. What if he would tell you to get bigger breasts.. or watever he might find on you that he wont like and, would want to change that from you.. Unless he agrees about it, then fine. If he starts telling that he likes himself the way he is, then you'll have to accept it.. If not, then you'll have to let him go.

 
Old 04-30-2006, 06:56 PM   #8
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Derangea HB User
Re: Uncircumcised Boyfriend

Quote:
Originally Posted by tommy124
You should do him the favor of breaking it off with him, rather than asking him to circumcise himself for your sexual pleasure. If he got circumcised for you, and then you broke up with him, as can happen in any relationship, he would hate you forever.
If he has no yeast infection, he can't be giving it to you. If he had one, he would know it. It would be itchy, red, and very uncomfortable. You may both need to be treated with monistat, or something similar, to get rid of it. A man has every right to his whole body. Foreskins are intensely pleasurable to their owners. I would have strong issues against it myself. You would, too, if you related it to your own body. Would you give up your inner lips or clitoris for a man? Would you resent him asking?

What is the nature of your negative association with a foreskin? It is, after all, a normal part of a whole human body. Do you feel they are dirty, or undesirable, or something like that? If so, you might want to ask yourself why that is. Masturbation, in my mind at least, is much more sensual with an intact penis, because it has moving parts. There is something mysterious about seeing the glans covered and uncovered.
This is your problem, not his. You need to solve it yourself, either with him, or without him. Do him the favor of leaving him out of it. This is something he doesn't deserve. If you find you can't figure it out, and can't adjust, leave him, and find a good circumcised man, and make yourself happy. Please, just don't try and change him. It will lead to nothing but misery for both of you. Good luck to both of you with it.
Why are you attacking me? I dont want him to circumcise himself. I never said that. Yet you assumed it. I know it has to do with me and not him. I thought I would mention these thoughts I've been having because I thought I would be taken in a non judgemental way. You make it seem like I'm most terrible girlfriend in the world when you have no evidence to back it up. Do everyone a favor a think twice about posting.
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"All credibility, all good conscience, all evidence of truth come only from the senses."

 
Old 04-30-2006, 10:14 PM   #9
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avator_infernus HB User
Re: Uncircumcised Boyfriend

A good solution is to use condoms. It'll hide everything, and you shouldn't get infections. Perhaps he doesn't clean under his foreskin enough and that's what gives you infections though? Some people just don't know those things, as simple as they may be.

 
Old 05-01-2006, 07:05 AM   #10
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Re: Uncircumcised Boyfriend

Sorry to have assumed that you might ask him to get a circumcision. I have seen many posts over the years where men have been asked by their women to get a circumcision, and sad things followed.

 
Old 05-01-2006, 08:10 AM   #11
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mrbojangle HB User
Re: Uncircumcised Boyfriend

Just a quick opinion; you told us you love him and feel that he may be "the one", why not take him as the man you love and except the foreskin as a bonus.

 
Old 05-05-2006, 09:21 PM   #12
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greenfairy84 HB User
Re: Uncircumcised Boyfriend

If you really think that his foreskin is what is causing you yeast infections then just explain to him the difference between a cut and un-cut man and how you think you may be more sensitive to infections if he is not throughly clean.Unless you are proned to yeast infections anyway,I would let him know that it is a new or rare occurrence for you and a little extra care could help.It may sound like a harsh thing to bring up but if it were me I would bring this to his attention.Even starting off the same way you did when you wrote this post.Saying how much you care for him,etc.It may sound obvious that he should know to clean himself well but since he's had a foreskin his whole life he probably doesn't know the difference it makes.

I know I didn't enjoy seeing my bf masturbate at all when I became sexually active but as time went on I.....got used to it and realized I love him and enjoy seeing a man you love be pleasured.

 
Old 05-06-2006, 12:55 AM   #13
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Arrow Re: Uncircumcised Boyfriend

well, go to your doc about the recurrent yeast infection, it could be for a # of reasons

i doubt it is the foreskin, unless he doesn't clean it , or he has a n infection without symptoms

it's my recommendation that you both see a gyno/ male doc.

as for the sex, well, i've only been with one uncircumsized man, and it qwas the best sex i've ever had

he is proably sensitive about trimming it, well, because it;s a part of his body, and because men loose large percent of their feelings when they trim it
sex would be allot less sensitive for possibly both of you

go to the doc to figure out the cause of the infections, then deal with your problems of the foreskin second....

good luk

 
Old 05-06-2006, 05:22 AM   #14
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nightangel73 HB User
Re: Uncircumcised Boyfriend

I get turned on with foreskin and unfortanetly none of the bf's i ever had been uncircumsized to taste it. Oh foreskin should be great for hand jobs, more to play with. Oh well i guess it's a matter of taste. My dad was uncircumcized but had to get circumcized after adult cause he had problems, not sure if it related to infections.

I don't see anything wrong with her asking him to circumcized. I told my bf to please at least trim his pubic hair. I told him "honey it is 2006, time to mow the lawn" hehehe. He didn't get offended. For circumcision I would say something like honey have you thought of being circumcized? If it seems like it is a big deal to him then I would leave it there but if he seems like he wouldn't care much I would tell him to circumcize. Would say something like "I did love you if you circumcize, you know that would really turn me on" I don't think it is a big deal. Having a circumcizion is not like saying to ask for bigger boobs. It is totally different.

 
Old 05-06-2006, 07:33 AM   #15
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Re: Uncircumcised Boyfriend

Quote:
Originally Posted by nightangel73
I don't see anything wrong with her asking him to circumcized. I told my bf to please at least trim his pubic hair. I told him "honey it is 2006, time to mow the lawn" hehehe. He didn't get offended. For circumcision I would say something like honey have you thought of being circumcized? If it seems like it is a big deal to him then I would leave it there but if he seems like he wouldn't care much I would tell him to circumcize. Would say something like "I did love you if you circumcize, you know that would really turn me on" I don't think it is a big deal. Having a circumcizion is not like saying to ask for bigger boobs. It is totally different.
WOW!! You're right it's totally different. It's much worse. Holy cow. At least a breast reduction is reversible and doesn't remove part of the genitals (and a very sensitive part at that). What if the guy's next girlfriend want him to be uncircumcised? Then what? People shouldn't go around customizing their body with surgery just to please their current partner. Comparing it to asking your bf to trim his pubes is ridiculous.

Derangea, your bf has said he's not interested in being circ'd, so your only option is to get used to it, and maybe learn to like/love it. Telling him you don't like it may only cause bad feelings between you.

 
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