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Old 10-31-2006, 11:41 AM   #1
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Unhappy lack of feeling during sex

I have now been married for about four months, but my sex life lacks. My wife and I did not have sex with each other until marriage. I have had two partners prior, but she was a virgin (she never even mastubated). I know that I completely satisfied the two women before my wife, being that I am above average length and girth, and I do enjoy giving oral sex. Also the two women told me on numerous occasions that their experiences were very enjoyable. My problem now, is that my wife lacks feeling during sex, and she hasn't been able to reach orgasm. She enjoys oral sex, but I have done it for long periods of time to no avail of orgasm. As far as penetration, I can literally feel the back of her vaginal wall with my penis, but she says she can barely feel me, and that feeling isn't stimulating or good. With prior partners, both women couldn't even go fully down on me, if they were on top. Each said it was too much, but my wife has little feeling at all, and what feeling is their isn't nice! I just want to make her feel good inside, and ultimately give her an orgasm, which will make me feel like a success as a husband. In turn she wants to feel pleasure, but no positions have helped. She doesn't even like the vibrator I bought her, and refuses to masterbate, which I feel would help her learn her body better.

 
Old 10-31-2006, 06:13 PM   #2
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Re: lack of feeling during sex

It may be emotional that she isn't getting into it. I don't know if she has some mental blocks or feels pressured to enjoy it when she just may have not learned to fully appreciate sex yet. If she was a virgin maybe she's uncomfortable with the thought of masturbation or she was brought up in such a way she feels it's wrong. It's really hard to guess. If she's not fully into it and really in the mood she's not going to enjoy it and it won't feel good. Chances are the more she has sex and isnt really into it the harder it will be for her to get in the mood.

Ideally the best thing would be for her to open up to you and talk with you about it all and experiment with things so she can figure out what does it for her but.... My only advice short of that happening would be for you to figure out what makes her feel really sexy and what turns her on and tease her until she's really into it and make her really want it and go from there. If she's really in the mood she might be more open to a few ideas as well as helping you by touching herself to try to orgasm. I can reach orgasm with clitoral stimulation only and no penetration as well as with so I think if shes willing to work with you, you can get something figured out.

 
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Old 10-31-2006, 06:41 PM   #3
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Re: lack of feeling during sex

Quote:
Originally Posted by romantic heart
She doesn't even like the vibrator I bought her, and refuses to masterbate, which I feel would help her learn her body better.
If that's what you're dealing with... you have quite a struggle ahead

I can't imagin anything more frustrating that a partner who refused to participate.

Some comments: most women don't reach orgasm during intercourse, since most women need direct clitoral stimulation to reach orgasm.

Women have very little feeling in the vagina beyond the first inch or so, any feeling after that is from pressure and depending on the woman, penis, and position that can be a good or not so good thing. (Pressure to the front or g-spot area is usually much better than on the cervix, for example.)

Size is not everything to all women. You have obviously found one who does not respond to what you say is your good size.

You say "I just want to make her feel good inside, and ultimately give her an orgasm, which will make me feel like a success as a husband." I hope that doesn't mean you're waiting for her to have an orgasm during intercourse. (See my first comment.) You might be waiting for something that could never happen, and has no bearing on your qualitiy as a husband. You could increase your chances of giving her an orgasm if you continued with your oral and manual work on her.

Best would be for her to start to masturbate so she could learn and tell you what will work for her, of course...

Good luck.

 
Old 11-01-2006, 09:21 AM   #4
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Re: lack of feeling during sex

I agree with Thisby,
the first inch or two is where the feeling is , most women find it uncomfortable to be penatrated deep(to back of her vagina) hitting the cervix is not very stimulateing to most women anyway.
Rubbin the libia walls for some women is a turn on if the penis is thick
there's ways you can use your penis to get her stimulated I just can't say how on here(experiment) use your fingers, get her emotionally in the mood sort of speak, tease her, use a soft gentil touch, fingers, hands, mouth, just be gentil take your time and only penatrate her when she is ready and ask you to with body language, if she is aroused and ready maybe that will help you guys a little more?
sometimes I give my g/f orgasms with oral, then during intercourse she has multis O's ...but a lot of women are different. I say just experiment with her but at the same time becareful and not forget that you love her,,ect,,ect,,
after you find what turns her on you maybe somewhat suprised?
Good Luck.

 
Old 11-01-2006, 09:21 AM   #5
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Re: lack of feeling during sex

I don't mean to offend you, but the size of a mans heart is a lot better than the size of his penis, and do not judge the size of your penis as for as being a good loving ''quility'' husband.

Last edited by chevyman; 11-01-2006 at 09:31 AM.

 
Old 11-28-2006, 02:39 AM   #6
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Lightbulb Re: lack of feeling during sex

i have been sexually active for 7 years and i have never had an orgasm during sex. not only do i not climax, but i do not have any pleasurable sensations, only pain and feelings of pressure sometimes. i however masturbate and respond very well to oral stimulation and have great orgasms that way. the situation may not be your fault or hers. research statistics have shown on numerous occasions that most women are physiologically unable to have orgasms during sexual intercourse and others cannot experience any pleasurable feelings whatsoever. this can be due to physical problems such as nerve damage, cysts, lack of sensory nerves in the vagina and impairment of any nerves that is present; emotional problems can include fear, history of sexual abuse, depression and, unfortunately, lack of attraction to the partner. the fact that she enjoys oral sex means that all is not lost. seeing that she is very new to the experience and have not even masturbated before could be a big reason as to why she does not hae orgasms during oral sex. women who have good orgasms are women who are in touch with their bodies. she needs to get in touch with her body and learn that this is one of the things it is meant for (some women are taught that sex is a bad thing while growing up or that women should not enjoy it). she needs to learn to masturbate and to experience orgasms during masturbation then she will be more likely to have orgasms during oral sex. you can also do manual stimulation and teach her what to do since she may not know. dont be afraid to do research and get literature that relates to these topics. get some porn. this may be good for her since more than likely she has never seen any before. when she becomes more comfortable with her body, with you as time goes by [(she may be a bit ashamed to let out that scream ], and with the experience of sex in its entirety then im sure things will get a lot better. in the meantime, talk to her about any of the emotional factors that may be affecting her. these are unfortunately common in women. and if all fails, then consult a physician. you still have a lot of time ahead of you. be patient in the meantime and do not get frustrated. do not blame each other. take things slow with her. (at least you're trying)
as for my case, i still have sexual intercourse. i use a lubricant and i do manual stimulation during the act. sometimes i have the guy do it. and that works very well for me. sometimes i do it before. its like sexual positions. find out what works for you and stick with it. (but i am still investigating to see what my problem is in the meantime).
good luck to you

Last edited by celebritycs*; 11-28-2006 at 02:43 AM.

 
Old 07-14-2008, 06:14 PM   #7
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Question Re: lack of feeling during sex

Due to a car accident several months ago, I have been unable to climax during sex since then. I am as attracted to my husband now more than ever, because he has tried so hard, so many different things, times, places, etc. We sometimes spend 2 1/2 hours every time trying to help me pass this. I fear that I may loose him over this, and that could have some extra pressure on me, but the main thing is the nacrotic meds that I am on, and the nerve damage, suffered from the wreck. Someone please help me here, anyone. We have been married for 12 1/2 years. We have always had an amazing marriage and I don't want that to change. But I fear that it might, if I can't fix this. We've tried toys, the whole nine yards, and I am deperate enough to try anything, other than infidelity, we have, and always will, remain monagaomous. Is there anyone else out there with the same problem, that found a soulition. I am supposed to be in my prime and I am missing that all to hell. Please email a solutuin to [email]DELETED[/email] I am begging.

Last edited by Mod-S4; 07-14-2008 at 07:04 PM. Reason: Do not post contact info for any reason.

 
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