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Old 11-04-2006, 09:03 PM   #1
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WhyIsThisMyLife HB User
Can No Longer Orgasm

DH & I have had problems, sexually but in general I was always able to orgasm with OS. I would prefer to be able to also do it during intercourse, but I need clitorial stimulation and he can't ever position himself in a way so that I (because he won't do it) can stimulate my clitioris. Time & time, I've tried to show him what I want, by saying don't press hardly on my clitoris, just jiggle the area. He might do it for that day, but next time its the hard pressing. Sometimes, I orgasm from that, because of the extreme overstimulation. Most of the time, he orgasms and that is the end of things. I give him oral sex and he turns around and goes to bed. That has made me sad. Once I cried and he thought about it and said he recognized he had not done anything to help me orgasm in months. Most of the way I orgasm is with him sucking my nipples while I masturbate myself. I feel like I could just as well have been alone. I've even asked if perhaps my hygeine is off, we have sex after work and I would feel better if I showered. He gives OS so infrequently (2 or 3 times a year). I give it at least monthly. It is killing my self esteem. Now I can't even orgasm alone. I masturbate. Read erotic stories, look at porn & nothing! I'm 39. This has not happened since I was a teenager. He has tried to change & gave me oral sex a couple of times in the last two months. Once, I stopped him, because I knew I wasn't going to orgasm. My mind wasn't right. One time I faked it, because I knew it wasn't going to happen. I've always been able to do it by masturbation, but its been months and nothing. I'm not sure what's going on with me. Any suggestions?

Last edited by Mod-S4; 11-04-2006 at 10:25 PM. Reason: Please use proper terminology.

 
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Old 11-06-2006, 01:35 AM   #2
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coulditbeTD HB User
Re: Can No Longer Orgasm

Maybe it is your emotions. Are you happy with him? Maybe you have too much stress on your mind to really feel "happy". If he is giving you oral 3 times a day, everyday, maybe you are burning out. Make him wait about 2 weeks (it might be hard) then let the jungle fever flow.

 
Old 11-06-2006, 06:11 PM   #3
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NYLady1976 HB User
Re: Can No Longer Orgasm

Did I miss something?? Where does she say he is giving her oral sex 3 times a day???

I think it's all emotional, meaning you are worried so much about it, you cannot climax. Also, your husband may not realize all of your needs, and I think you and him should sit down and have a heart to heart talk about what is going on with what you are feeling.

 
Old 11-06-2006, 07:57 PM   #4
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Re: Can No Longer Orgasm

It's two or three times a year not everyday. I did think it was emotional, but what bothers me is I can't do it even by myself. The other day, I finally broke out "the big guns" and used a vibrator and that worked, but the O was very weak. I suggest things to him, but he forgets about it next time. One day, I showed him all the books I've read about sex and how to please a man and was hinting maybe he should buy a book, but he didn't. We've discussed it and he rates sex with me as an A. I told him, its because I realize its importance. I want to please him. I want to give him the best sexual pleasure than anyone woman has. I just want the same in return.

 
Old 11-09-2006, 08:53 AM   #5
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kitkat77 HB User
Re: Can No Longer Orgasm

This could be a side effect of a medication. Are you by chance on any anti-depressants? They make it nearly impossible to have an O and if it should happen they're usually weak.

 
Old 11-16-2006, 01:26 PM   #6
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Re: Can No Longer Orgasm

This sounds similar to what i've been thru with my bf. I can't get off from intercourse alone, and he doesn't do much else to get me there. It really really does take a blow to your self esteem. It makes me feel disgusting but I know i'm as clean as they come. IMO, the reason you can't climax anymore with him is prob b/c you feel like you are forcing him to do these things for u. Once i had to "ask" my bf for oral and more attention in bed...it kinda made me feel bad when recieving it. I just wanted it to happed from the beginning without saying. Then whenever he finally comes around to actually giving me oral, it's really difficult to enjoy it sometimes b/c of the pressure i feel. Its hard to explain, but maybe my experience is similar to yours. good luck.

 
Old 11-17-2006, 01:25 AM   #7
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Re: Can No Longer Orgasm

deleted by poster

Last edited by comeonnow; 07-16-2008 at 01:32 AM.

 
Old 11-17-2006, 02:57 PM   #8
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Unsure_88 HB User
Re: Can No Longer Orgasm

I don't exactly know how you feel, because my hubby and me used to have sex 3 times a day (minimum literally) and then all of a sudden he got a new job that he is pretty active so he gets tired and just like that we have se once every other day if that. I have a high sex drive and the more and more I think about it, it won't be long until his sex drive gets really low...and we are both only 18. I got so used to having sex after I got off work, at like 10:00p.m and be suprised at 2:00-3:00 in the morning when he got in the mood. I was so happy then, but now even if I insist on it, we do it only when of course "he wants it" So since this morning I know that we had sex before work...I won't be seeing anything until Sunday But I am 10 weeks pregnant and for some reason that is all I want to do sometimes. But I know after we have the baby our sex life is going to go down hill. Moreso because I know for 6 weeks I won't be able to have sex with him and once we do start having sex again I have to train him all over again...he will be so out of it and only last 2-3 minutes.

I know this has nothing to do being compared to a few times a month or a few times a year, but I know this is exactly what I will be looking forward too. Just do as mentioned and buy a vibrator...or get a removable showerhead and do that.

 
Old 11-19-2006, 06:51 PM   #9
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WhyIsThisMyLife HB User
Re: Can No Longer Orgasm

It's worked itself out! At one point, I broke out a vibrator cuz I felt I needed to break out "the big guns." That was rather weak, but now its better. I am off the antidepressants, so that must have been the cause. Thanks everyone for your advice!

 
Old 11-22-2006, 04:31 PM   #10
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artjen HB User
Re: Can No Longer Orgasm

PinkKangaroo and Comeonnow...oh my gosh I can totally relate to what you both wrote. I have the same issues with my fiance and we are getting married in like 10 days. I am worried. I love him dearly but our sex life has gone downhill in a bad way. We don't live together so my thread of hope is that when we are living together, once we're married...maybe things will change. We might have sex like once a month, twice if I'm lucky. But lucky is his pleasure, not mine. When he's done, we're done. I do not want to ask for any OS or anything like that because I think that will affect my pleasure. If i have to ask, then forget it! I do it myself, when I'm alone. I hate it because I am feeling resentful too. I've brought up the fact that we hardly have intimacy anymore and he sad he felt bad about it too. But then we still don't. Nothing has changed. I am frustrated right now. I wish he wanted to have sex every day too. I'm afraid things will get worse. I don't know.

 
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