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Old 03-02-2007, 11:24 AM   #1
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Question What Makes A 30 Year Old Married Woman Want To Push Sexual Boundries?

I have been married to my wife for ten years and have had a really great sex life with my wife. Recently her need to experiment sexually has grown. Normally we just communicate and talk and have ďDirty SexĒ and talk to each other about having sex with other people but that has grown. We have started having sex with a couple we know on a regular basis. This isnít the problem. She wants to take this even further and start having sex with strangers and me to find strange women ect. Her need to push sexual boundaries is growing at a high rate of speed and we both have agreed that this behavior is not healthy. During the course of our ten years of marriage she says she has felt this way but has managed to stay faithful but has since only been able to communicate to me her real desires. Now I know what half of you are thinking, she was probably molested. She swears up and down she was not. She was how ever promiscuous during High School, and lived with just her mother. If there are any psychiatrist out there or anyone who thinks they can offer me an educated opinion please Iím listening.

 
Old 03-02-2007, 11:36 AM   #2
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Re: What Makes A 30 Year Old Married Woman Want To Push Sexual Boundries?

Any time you're using sex other than for a healthy need, it can become an addiction. Because if you're using sex to fill a figurative emptiness inside, after a while just regular sex isn't going to be enough and the emptiness will get bigger and bigger and you'll have to seek more and different sexual behavior to satisfy your longing. In my unprofessional opinion, it sounds like this is the beginning of a sex addiction for your wife. Sex addiction often starts with unusual, deviant, or socially stigmatized sexual behavior, like porn, swinging, fetishes, etc. Not that those activities are always bad, but if you are doing it for an unhealthy reason, then things are going to get ugly. Sex addiction, as I'm sure you know, is what leads to rape, infidelity, and the destruction of relationships.

Keep in mind I'm no doctor, but I just wanted to tell you my opinion in case it could help. I think it's good you and your wife are both acknowledging that you feel this behavior is unhealthy- if one or both of you were not okay with it and you hid that fact, it would be so harmful to your relationship. I highly recommend seeing your regular doctor for a referral to a psychiatrist or sex therapist.

 
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Old 03-02-2007, 11:39 AM   #3
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Re: What Makes A 30 Year Old Married Woman Want To Push Sexual Boundries?

Why a regular doctor? And not some type of counsler?

 
Old 03-02-2007, 11:43 AM   #4
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Re: What Makes A 30 Year Old Married Woman Want To Push Sexual Boundries?

Disreguard the last post I misread it. What do you think the emptiness stems from? Our relationship, childhood? Im really concerned here? She says she has always felt this way? The sort of longing.

 
Old 03-02-2007, 11:56 AM   #5
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Re: What Makes A 30 Year Old Married Woman Want To Push Sexual Boundries?

I really couldn't tell you. Only yourselves can answer those questions. It could be anything- lots of people have seemingly normal childhoods and adult lives but still have psychological problems. I think seeking professional help will be really good for putting your mind at ease- someone who is trained to can help you find answers. I have some psychological problems myself and my whole life wondered where they came from, but a therapist was able to point out things in my life and childhood that I wouldn't otherwise have noticed. Someone will be able to do that for you too and you'll feel much more peaceful about the problem, and you'll be able to fix it.

Good luck, don't worry too much in the meantime. Just be proactive about seeking help. It is obvious you really care about your wife a lot, I know you'll be able to find resolutions eventually.

 
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