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Old 06-18-2007, 09:19 AM   #1
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BF's sexual past...

My BF has a very experienced sexual past. I've never asked for details, but when we talk he mentions how lucky he is he didn't get an STD, so I get the hint he was kind of loose. I found out from his best friend this weekend, I didn't ask either, that he and my BF had a threesome with a girl in college, about 4-6 years ago I'm guessing. He made fun of my BF for taking the "sloppy seconds"! I also know they would have sex with girls in the same room, my BF was having sex with this girl like three times a day while her boyfriend was at class, and I also know that one would date a girl then the other would try and hit on her and "take her away" meaning pretty much have sex with her to destroy their relationship. It's like some sick game they play (and his friend tried hitting on me this weekend so it may still be going on!)
So are these sexual experiences normal for a guy? Should I be concerned? I am not as experienced so to hear things like this freaks me out a bit!

 
Old 06-18-2007, 09:28 AM   #2
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Re: BF's sexual past...

wow....not a whole lot of integrity there......
doesn't mind sloppy seconds, or screwing some guys girlfriend while he's at class.......
what is it you like about this guy?

 
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Old 06-25-2007, 10:43 AM   #3
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Re: BF's sexual past...

When I read what you wrote about your boyfriend, I felt compelled to share my own story.

I'm 25 years old, and I've been married (happily) to my husband, for the past 6 years. When we met, I was 19 and he was 23. As far as our sexual pasts were concerned.. I was a lot more "expienced" than he was. I felt it was important to be very upfront with him, about everything.. incase it changed how he felt about me, and about our replationship.

See, before I met my husband.. I had been with a LOT of guys (whereas he had only been with one woman before me). Most of them weren't even people I was in a relationship with. I just honestly didn't care, and I would sleep with whoever. There were rarely ever any emotions involved (on my end). I used to even brag about it to my friends, as if it were something to be proud of.

When I met my husband, I realized how wrong I was. I was ashamed of my past, and I wanted to badly to erase it. I could have just kept silent, and not said anything about it to him.. but I felt that would have been wrong of me to do. He was a part of my life now, and he had the right to know about those things. So, I told him.. and to my amazement, he was more than understanding. He was so accepting. He simply told me that my past was my past, and he didn't care about that.. and that he loved me. That was almost 7 years ago, and he still has that same feeling when it comes to my past. As far as he's concerned, it doesn't even exist. He knew about my past from the beginning, but he chose to accept me completely.. and he always has. He has never held my past against me, nor has he ever let it affect his love and trust in me.

Of course, when we met (and sometimes, still today) there were people who I actually thought were my friends.. who tried to discourage him from being with me. They tried to tell him what kind of person I was, and what I had done.. in an attempt to get him to walk away from me. But, it didn't work. Little did they know, he already knew those things, but he wasn't going to let my past determine our future together.

So, the best advice I can give you.. is to first, talk with your boyfriend, about everything. I don't mean the dirty details or anything.. but you need to be able to know for sure if that's all in his past, of if it's still a part of who he is today. Have that talk with him, and let him tell you anything he feels you should know. If you love him, and you trust him.. do yourself a favor, and let his past go, and just focus on your future together.

I want you to know that I'm here if you ever need someone to talk to.

 
Old 06-25-2007, 11:00 AM   #4
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Re: BF's sexual past...

I would be more concerned about that "game" he played than I would about the number of people he's been with.

It's one thing to make a few bad decisions, but to actively use and toy with a person's emotions just to get them into bed is twisted. I hope for your sake that it was a childish "game" and that he's outgrown it.

At least he can get tested for STDs. He says he has.. but do you know that he has? Have you seen the results or been there when he got them?

Does he disrespect you? do you get the feeling that he's just into you b/c of the sex? If you answer yes, then I'd say that his mentality towards sex and women hasn't changed and that you should re-evaluate the relationship. If his past behavoir came as a shock, like it was someone totally different than you know now.. then it may have been that he was just a young stupid boy who made some really bad decisions and has hopefully grown up and realized the error of his ways. People can learn from their mistakes... the smart ones do.

Last edited by Mod-S4; 06-25-2007 at 11:30 AM. Reason: Vulgar language is not allowed. Neither is trying to disguise it.

 
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