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Old 07-06-2007, 08:50 PM   #1
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Virgin and a vibrator

Hey! I'm 29 and I'm a virgin. I know...crazy. As much as I want to have sex and get it over with and move on, I'm terrified of the pain and the blook showing. I'm not in a position right now to be sexually active but, it's always on my mind. Is it possible that if I decided to use a vibrator that I could break my hymen myself and move past the bleeding...not to mention "open" me up more...where when the time comes, I won't be so tense or afraid. Does that make sense?

 
Old 07-06-2007, 09:48 PM   #2
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Re: Virgin and a vibrator

Yes that will definitely do it! That's a great idea if you don't want sex to hurt. I have never had a vibrator, but I guess my hymen broke from using tampons or something... I never had any pain or blood during my first time! If tampons can do it, then a vibrator definitely can.

 
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Old 07-07-2007, 03:32 PM   #3
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Re: Virgin and a vibrator

First of all when you have sex for the first time it's not the same amount of bleeding as say when you have your period, and as far as the pain goes if you try to relax and realize that there's some pleasure involved the first time there won't be too much pain I think you've really let your imagination run amok with you and have built it up so much in your mind that it's become this HORRIBLE EXPERIENCE when in fact it's really like about as painful as say riding a horse for the first time a little sore but definately managable. No one can just look at you and tell that you lost your virginity and most likely unless really experience the man won't know it either. I recommend the traditional way of breaking your hymen it's loads more fun like a roller coaster ride scary at first but than you wonder what you were so scared of in the first place. Just remember to use protection no matter what.

 
Old 07-08-2007, 04:13 PM   #4
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Re: Virgin and a vibrator

You can also get used to oral sex/being touched first and it makes sex a lot more comfortable. I probably did that for 2-3 months regularly before actually having sex with my boyfriend. Doing things little by little really helped.

 
Old 07-13-2007, 12:46 PM   #5
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Wink Re: Virgin and a vibrator

I was terrified the first time I had sex. I was nervous that it would hurt, that I would bleed everywhere, etc. In fact, I was so nervous that I was extremely tense. My boyfriend actually complained that I hurt him because I could not let those muscles relax. Everything was rigid - I didn't move. I didn't bleed though. It was an uncomfortable experience, but I think it was more of him not really knowing what to do lol. There was also no foreplay involved, which I learned later is a BIG deal! Come to think of it, everything about that was a lesson in what not to do. If you are with someone special (and you should never lose it unless you are) and explain to him your concerns, he will take it into consideration when the time comes. Let him give you oral sex and use his hands, perhaps even a vibrator. Work up to it. Let the "working" part take a few sessions, or even a few weeks. As long as you don't fear it, it should be an enjoyable experience. When you get started, ask him to take it slow and all should be good! And of course, practice makes perfect

 
Old 07-18-2007, 01:26 PM   #6
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Re: Virgin and a vibrator

I forgot to mention use LOTS and LOTS of lubrication

 
Old 07-18-2007, 02:08 PM   #7
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Re: Virgin and a vibrator

OK, TMI follows.

I'm assuming here you use pads instead of tampons. Most girls who use tampons manage to break their hymen long before their first intercourse. (I was 11, at the beginning of puberty, trying to figure out what the baby-making equipment did, when mine broke. It hurts way less than cramps or a scraped knee. I hardly noticed.)

Every girl should learn her own anatomy, including what makes her feel pleasure. That means exploration and eventually masturbating. I'm a 24 year old virgin, and that's what I (and about 80% of females) do. Check out a book on anatomy, and match the parts of the diagram to your own. A mirror should help. When you think you're ready, just stick a finger in your vagina at first, or two fingers. Some girls use a clean hairbrush handle, or some other round item (no sharp edges). You don't actually have to buy a vibrator--I never have, and don't miss it. The point is to become comfortable with yourself, so you can relax and enjoy sex when you find your special guy.

Last edited by Callista; 07-18-2007 at 02:10 PM.

 
Old 07-18-2007, 04:54 PM   #8
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Re: Virgin and a vibrator

I had sex for the first time last year. I had heard from friends that it was painfull and uncomfortable and generally HORRIBLE. But i didnt find it anything like that, i had never experienced pain from a tampon or anything before but i found my first time quite enjoyable, a little discomfort, but not as bad as i thought it would be. THe main thing is to be comfortable with your partner. I was with my boyfriend a full year before having sex and i think thats the key to not being so nervous..good luck x

 
Old 07-30-2007, 08:14 PM   #9
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Re: Virgin and a vibrator

Re: Virgin and a vibrator

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I don't find it too crazy. I'm a little older than you and just had sex for the first time Friday night.

I surprised the heck out both him and I, as I was NOWHERE as nervous as either one of us thought I would be (he knows I had never been with anyone before). As far as the pain, it only hurt (not that bad, and not that long and I've never used a vibrator) the first time he entered me. After that, no problem. Bleeding-a bit (no clue if my hymen was ever broken before (I've used tampons for 20+years)), but nothing like a period.

Now, as for the pain afterwards...good Lord, I feel like I took a kickboxing class for the very first time! My inner thighs are sore! But, it's muscle soreness, not pain. It feels like I got one heck of a workout!

All in all, I think I worried too much about what I thought it would be like and it wasn't like I thought it would be at all. It was VERY nice.

I don't think I was nervous because I was so ready for it. I had wanted to be with this person for a LONG time, and I was pretty open about not being with anyone before, so he knew all along. I think that made it easier for me.

Another thing that helped me-BREATHING! Deep breaths. I had to concentrate on relaxing a few times, but other than that, it was great.

I am glad I waited instead of doing it just for the sake of doing it. I am comfortable with him and he was very caring-he constantly asked me if I was okay, or if it hurt. Very sweet. Hopefully you will be with someone like that, as well.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Will I Be Happy View Post
Hey! I'm 29 and I'm a virgin. I know...crazy. As much as I want to have sex and get it over with and move on, I'm terrified of the pain and the blook showing. I'm not in a position right now to be sexually active but, it's always on my mind. Is it possible that if I decided to use a vibrator that I could break my hymen myself and move past the bleeding...not to mention "open" me up more...where when the time comes, I won't be so tense or afraid. Does that make sense?

 
Old 08-01-2007, 05:39 PM   #10
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Re: Virgin and a vibrator

Quote:
Originally Posted by Will I Be Happy View Post
Hey! I'm 29 and I'm a virgin. I know...crazy. As much as I want to have sex and get it over with and move on, I'm terrified of the pain and the blook showing. I'm not in a position right now to be sexually active but, it's always on my mind. Is it possible that if I decided to use a vibrator that I could break my hymen myself and move past the bleeding...not to mention "open" me up more...where when the time comes, I won't be so tense or afraid. Does that make sense?
Strange as it may sound I used a vibrator long before having intercourse. And yes I did break my hymen with it and it did hurt so either way it will hurt. Also either way lots of lubrication is important.
OT make it pleasurable lots of lube. lots of foreplay, ya gots to be relaxed and desiring it, and have him take it slow. And above all don't lose it just for the sake of losing it. You will regret it. I am speaking form experience.
Hun just wondering why you havnt done it till now and how expeirenced you are sexually.
Regardless good luck if you go ahead.

 
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